Songs Of The Heart
by Moonraven
Summary: *COMPLETE* Chichiri and Tasuki meets again in modern day Tokyo with the music industry as the backdrop. (Chi/Tas, Gravitation crossover)
1. The Meeting

Author's notes and warning:  I'm going for a less sappy story this time around.  Well, I'll try anyway.  Unfortunately, I'm totally sappy, so this will be hard…but doable!  I don't normally do well with too many characters, as I tend to lose focus but having tried my hand in multiple couples in 'Irreplaceable' and managed somewhat…I will try writing a bit of Hotohori and Nuriko (sap) as well as Chichiri and Tasuki (less sap) story.  My first time at writing H/N fic…let me know what you think?

I think you know how I like my Chichiri by now…strong…in this story, um…maybe too strong?  I don't know; tell me?

You know how some incredibly well thought out and well planned stories don't get the boys together in the first couple of chapters?  You know to build background plot, set-up story line, introduce characters, etc…?  Well, this isn't one of them.  Heh heh heh…  I'm an impatient soul…the boys are meeting this chapter!  Okay?

Violence, minor gay bashing, foul language, and some warm fuzzy feelings up ahead…(waff, from the author as she thinks about Chichiri…. wipes drool Gomen…)

Disclaimer:  Not mine…

**_Songs of the Heart_** – Chapter One: The Meeting

By Moonraven

"Hotohori-chan!  Oh, yes!  Harder…please…" panted one delicate young man as he writhe on the picnic blanket.

"NURIKO NO BAKA!"  Tasuki yelled at his friend.  "You are SO fucked up man!"  He looked around the park to make sure no one heard Nuriko's near explicit sleep talking; no one was around.  He shook his head and yanked none too gently on the thick black braid.  

With a surprised yelp, Nuriko jerked up on the blanket and pulled his braid free, holding it protectively as he blinked repeatedly.  A disappointed look clouded his pretty face as he realized that it was yet again another dream.

"Shit, Nuri, why don't you fucking tell him already?"  Tasuki gave his friend a scowl.  "Then maybe you can help me write the next song rather than dream about him?"  He motioned to the note pad pointedly.

"Ah!  Sorry, Tas-chan!"  Nuriko grabbed the pad instantly, beaming an apologetic smile at his friend.  "There's nothing to tell."  He flipped a few pages and flopped down on his stomach, chewing thoughtfully on the end of the pencil. 

"Like hell, there isn't."  Tasuki yanked the long braid again, earning a glare from Nuriko.  "You've been giving him the 'eye' ever since I've know you.  And now you fucking dream…that kind of dreams with him?  Nothing to tell, my ass."

Nuriko looked down silently at the pad in front of him.  "He's like you, Tas-chan, he doesn't swing that way.  If he finds out, he'll hate me."  

"How do you know?"  Tasuki asked almost impatiently.  "You've been friends since…forever!  He'll never hate you."

"Yeah, friends.  Not lovers."  He sighed then turned sharply towards Tasuki.  "Swear you'll never tell."

"No such thing, man."  Tasuki flashed his friend a fanged grin, full of mischief.  "You'll never know when it'll come in handy."

"I can beat the crap out of you, Tasuki!"  Nuriko warned, eyes twinkling in return.

"Hmph!  You and what army?"  Tasuki snorted, knowing full well that Nuriko needed only his fist.  The boy's got some major right hook, not to mention an incredible strength, uncommon in someone so small.

Nuriko held up his right hand and wiggled his fingers.  "Hmm…these, care to try?"  

Tasuki pounced, catching the smaller man off guard and tickled him in his sides.  Nuriko squealed and doubled over, trying to escape the assaulting hands as peels of laughter escaped his lips.

"Give up?"  Tasuki asked, grinning wickedly.

"You cheated!"  Panted Nuriko, but his time for an entirely different reason than the dream.  Tasuki resumed his attack and Nuriko tried rolling away, resulting in both the men tumbling down the gentle grassy slope.

When they stopped rolling, Nuriko was pinned under Tasuki, still laughing, tears rolling down his face.

"Careful, Tas-chan, one of your many conquests might see us.  How will you ever explain it?"  Nuriko teased his friend.

Tasuki didn't bother getting off the smaller man.  "Shit, man, the whole fucking world knows I'm straight and that we're just friends…now if _Hotohori-chan_ saw us…" He wiggled his brows suggestively.

Nuriko squealed some more and giggled as he shoved Tasuki off him.  "Baka…"

"Aw…looky here, guys.  A couple o' queers."  A burly voiced sounded to their right and Tasuki whipped his head around in surprise.

"What ever shall we do?"  Another voice chimed in, clearly contemptuous.

Nuriko looked around nervously.  He could put up a good fight if necessary but there were quite a few of them.  Damn!  Did they stumble on the whole soccer team or something?

Tasuki got up slowly and stood over Nuriko protectively.  This didn't bode well with the smaller man and after rolling his eyes; Nuriko came to stand next to his friend.

"Look!  The fags wanted to play!"  A tall large man who easily stood a foot taller than Tasuki said as he elbowed his friend enthusiastically.  "I think we should play with 'em or maybe teach 'em to keep their fucking sickness at home!"  The rest of the group laughed along with him.

Tasuki turned to Nuriko and whispered fiercely.  "When I give you the go, run for it!"

Nuriko stared at him in horror.  "Are you nuts?"  He whispered back just a vehemently.  "There're at least ten of them!  I'm NOT leaving you."

"Nuri…" He growled but was cut off as he felt a hard blow to the side of his head.

"Tasuki!"  Nuriko yelled his friend's name as he saw Tasuki went down.  He stooped over Tasuki's stunned body and was yanked sharply to the left by his hair.  Nuriko yelped in pain as he reached for his braid when another thug slammed a fist into his gut.  His breath knocked out of him, Nuriko doubled over in pain as he crouched beside his friend.

Tasuki swore under his breath.  With lightning speed, he launched himself at the ruffian who had hit Nuriko.  The large man fell, not knowing what hit him.  Tasuki whirled around; ready to take down the next guy…then froze.  As did all the thugs.

Not ten feet away from them stood a man dressed completely in black.  He was tall and lean.  Black turtle neck sweater clung to his toned chest and tucked neatly into a snug black jeans.  He had short brown hair that fell in an unruly bang across his face.  His one visible eye glared at them coldly, as if daring them to continue in his presence.  He didn't move, he didn't say a word.  He didn't have to.  Everything about him screamed control and cold fury.  Tasuki wasn't sure if the anger was directed at him or at the thugs, it felt more like it was generally there for the mass.  The man had one hand clamped loosely on the strap of his backpack that he had slung over one shoulder while his other hand was shoved into his jeans pocket.

Tasuki shivered at the sight of the stranger.  A sense of familiarity washed over him though he wasn't sure why.  He'd certainly never met the man but there was something about his posture, about that gleam in his one eye…then the wind blew.  Tasuki caught his breath.  Underneath the thick bangs, the man had a scar across the left side of his face, where his left eye should be…he had only one good eye…

A strange aching lump formed in Tasuki's chest and stomach.  What was this he was feeling?  Who was this man?  He was vaguely aware of Nuriko standing and moving to his right elbow.  His small friend was also watching the strange man in black.

"Hey, Akio, that's the guy, man."  One of the thugs whispered to the other.  Tasuki looked sharply at them and was surprised to find fear written across their faces.

"What guy?"  The man called Akio asked, clearly irritated.  A couple of his men gathered around him and they whispered among themselves.

"It can't be!"  Akio nearly shouted.  "Besides, don't cha wanna know if the rumors were true?"  He said with a smirk.  "C'mon, Yoshio!  There's more of us!"

"He was outnumbered that time too!"  The man called Yoshio answered, slowly backing away.  The others murmured their agreement as they too began moving back.

"Ya wimps!"  Akio yelled at his gang and paused when the strange man in black began walking along the path towards them. 

The man could just be going along on his business, thought Tasuki in amusement.  After all, they were standing next to the path he was walking on.  It's not like he was coming towards THEM.

As the man moved closer, Akio lost his nerve and he too ran the way his friends had gone.  Nuriko burst out laughing at the sight of ten or so grown men running like rabbits from the one man.  He glanced back to the man to say his thanks when he caught that icy glare.  Nuriko swallowed hard and the words stopped cold in his throat.

The man then ignored them and continued along the path, walking right pass them, without as much as a glance.

"Hey, wait a minute."  Tasuki called as he ran after the man.  The man ignored him and continued walking.

"Hey!  I just want to say thanks, man."  Tasuki ran across the path and stopped in front of the man.  If the silent man wanted to continue without acknowledging him, he would have to walk right over the redhead.

The man stopped and stared at Tasuki blandly.  Tasuki bristled.  He would have preferred that cold glare; it implied at least that the redhead was worthy of SOME emotion.

The man continued to stare at Tasuki silently.  They were the same height thought Tasuki was slightly huskier.  He shouldn't feel inferior, yet…what was it about this man…?

Tasuki cleared his throat uncomfortably.  "Er…thanks, man."

The man frowned then glanced indifferently at Nuriko, then back at the redhead.

"Get a room."  The man said evenly and made a move to start walking again. 

Tasuki and Nuriko gasped in unison.  Tasuki's face reddened and he stood his ground.  "What the hell?  It ain't like that!"  He shouted his outraged and managed to get within inches of the stranger's face.  He had such a beautiful face…  What the hell…?  Tasuki shook himself mentally and backed away as if he was struck.

The man's frown deepened though he stood his ground.  His one brown eye searched Tasuki's golden ones closely.  Then he moved around Tasuki, off the path and circled back on after he had passed the fuming redhead.

"Fuck!"  Tasuki yelled out his frustration.  Who the hell did that man think he was?  Tasuki managed to get in front of the man again.  "Wait a minute here!  It's not what you think!  We're not like…THAT!"

The man's seemingly perpetual frown deepened yet again.  He let out a sigh.  Tasuki was surprised; it was the first time the man had shown any kind of emotion that hadn't belong to an ice cube.

"I don't care."  He said shortly then took a deep breath.  When he looked at Tasuki again, his eye was expressionless.  Mr. Freeze was back.  "Get out of my way."

Tasuki felt a sharp pain somewhere in his chest.  What did it matter?  The stranger was right in a way.  Why should the man care either way?  Why was he trying so hard to convince this heartless enigma that he was not with Nuriko?

Tasuki stepped slightly to the side and looked anywhere but at the man.  "Yeah, sure."

The man gave him an amused look before passing him.  Tasuki didn't move far enough away and the man didn't bother walking off the path to avoid physical contact.  The stranger's elbow brushed against Tasuki chest and the redhead's breath hitched in his throat.  The scent and feel of the man filled Tasuki's senses and he nearly loss his balance.  His breaths came in short pants as he stared after the man.  Who the hell was he?  Why did the cold bastard have such an affect on him?

"Ne, Tasuki."  Nuriko called from where he stood.  "Who was that guy?"  He too was staring after the stranger. 

"I don't know. Nuri."  He answered, eyes never leaving the strong broad back.  "I don't know."

Nuriko walked over to his friend and gave him a worried look.  "Tasuki?  What's the matter?  You looked like you've seen a ghost or something."

Tasuki looked back at his friend and shook his head.  "What a fucking jerk.  C'mon, Nuri, let's get back to our stuff.  He turned to look in the direction the man had gone and gave a disappointed sigh when he saw that the man had disappeared. 

"Tasuki!  Something IS wrong.  Do you know the guy?"  Nuriko jogged along next to him, determined to get answers from his red head friend.

"No."  He said, yet something told him that wasn't true…

"Did you see how scared those guys were?"  Nuriko continued as he frowned in thought.  "I wondered what happened when he was 'outnumbered that time'.

"I don't know and to coin his phrase, 'I don't care'!"  Tasuki grumbled and hurried to get his pack.

Nuriko watched his friend closely and gave a little smile.  "Careful, Tasuki-chan.  If you keep this up, I might think that you are taken with our gallant rescuer."  He teased.

Tasuki turned to him abruptly, red faced.  "Don't even tease about shit like that!"  Tasuki grated between gritted teeth.  "I ain't gay, Nuriko!  You should know better than that!"

Nuriko blinked blankly at his best friend.  They had teased each other since grade school; Tasuki had NEVER reacted like that.  He looked in the direction the stranger had disappeared in and frowned.  Who was that man?

Tasuki fumed silently, very angry with himself.  He should never have yelled at Nuriko like that but something in what Nuriko had said irked him to no end.  Why?  This was not the first time Nuriko had said something like that to him.  Why did it bother him so much now?

Why couldn't he get rid of the haunting image of that face? 

Why did he want so bad to run after the man and…and…

Tasuki growled ferociously and grabbed his stuff, not waiting for Nuriko to finish getting his, he marched toward the parking with every intention of forgetting the tall enigmatic stranger.

Nuriko followed his friend thoughtfully.  HE, on the other hand, had every intention of finding out who the stranger was.

TBC..?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Moonraven's note:

Wai Wai! What do you think of it so far?  I know it's short, but I did post two chapters, although the first one was just some info on Gravitation.  I just wanted to know what you think so far…if you liked it.  I was really nervous about writing this story.

If you were familiar with Gravitation you'd know that Eiri Yuki is pretty much the same way when he first met Shuuichi.  Very cold.  I happen to think that is **_SO INCREDIBLY SEXY_** in a man!!!  I just had to write that for Chichiri!  I didn't have him insulting Tasuki like Yuki did to poor little Shuuichi though.  But I was tempted…

My first time writing Nuriko (not counting that bit in 'Once Upon a Dream')…did I do okay so far, you think?  *Cringe at the thought of doing Hotohori…*

Feed back, feed back…onegai…


	2. The Enigma

Author's notes and warnings:  More Chichiri meanie…Tasuki confused…Nuriko yearning and Hotohori clueless!  This chapter will introduce some Gravitation characters and have them interact.  You'll also find out something about Chichiri's past…

Thank you's for the fantastic people who took the time to review…

**Xellas M.**:  Interesting beginning?  Hontou no hontou, ni?  Whew!  *Wipes sweat from brows* I hope you'll like the rest of the 'hard' Chichiri story…He's so HOT!  Oh, and thanks to you and the other nice reviewers, my GW experience wasn't as bad as I had thought!  Thank you SO much!  And you may need extra sugar and ice…it's gonna be a marathon!  LOL

**Chachiri**: Hai!  Hot & sexy, Hot & sexy!  That's our Chichiri!  Waving Chichiri banner  Poor Tas-chan…I don't drool over him as much as I do Chiri…but for him, we'll let Chiri do the drooling, ne?  And yes, Sakano and Hotohori do have the same seiyuu don't they!  They sound so different I had completely forgotten that!  Arigatou, no da!

**Chisama**:  Sorry for making Chichiri so mean…but isn't he totally HOT and absolutely drool-worthy?  It'll get worse before it gets better, I'm afraid.  But hang in there with me, okay?  I promise a totally happy ending!

**Shadow Priestess**:  Arigatou, no da!  I'm sorry you don't like the 'ice cube' Chichiri…it'll all be explained later…I think you'll like how it'll turn out…

**Lady Pyrrha**:  Thankie, thankie, thankie!  I'm glad the bio helped…or will help grins I hope you like the rest of the story as well!

**Fujimiya Maru**:  Hi!  You bet Tas-chan will melt the--- sshh! *Whispers* I'm not suppose to tell…

**Kawaii**:  Arigatou!!!  Wai!  You think that's sexy too!  Woo hoo!  Thanks for your support, you're just so…so...kawaii!  *Rolls eyes at her own lameness! *

**Mangaland**:  Mou, bet you have tons of manga, ne?  *Green with envy* Thank you for the review!

**Obijan**:  I knew it!  I knew it!  He was WAY too interested in Yuki!  You have Kumagorou?  I have a Kuma too!  Though when I first got it, it wasn't Kuma…but after I saw Gravitation, my little rabbit is the exact copy of Ryuuchi's pink bunny… now he is Kuma!  Arigatou!  I hope you'll like the rest of the story…

**Hitari**:  Wai!  Bootleg version?  *slaps hand on forehead* Jeeze!  Maybe you could be my consultant?  *grabs Hitari's hand and dances around waving Ryuuichi banner* Isn't he, totally HOT?  Gods I might do a Ryuuichi/Chichiri lemon just because…*sigh* Glad you liked it so far…what do you think of K/Ryuuichi paring?  I'm seriously thinking of that…  As for Yuki/Chichiri thing…I'm writing similarities in their past as well, though Chichiri's will be more mysterious…  And you KNOW that Tasuki is NOT Shuuichi!  Prepare for lots of sparks to fly.  GODS I love Chichiri like this….  And I love Quatre too!  Especially with Trowa…

Disclaimer…The usual blah, blah, blah…you know the one where I own nothing?  *Sniff*

**_Songs Of The Heart_** – chapter two: The Enigma

By Moonraven

"What happened?"  Hotohori gasped as he saw Nuriko's disheveled look and Tasuki's bruised face.  He brushed back a strand of stray hair that had escaped Nuriko's braid and tugged it gently behind the younger man's ear, completely oblivious to the adoration in the luminous hazel eyes.  "What did you get into this time?"  He turned a frowned on Tasuki.

"I didn't do nothin!"  Tasuki growled at his friend/manager.  Why was HE always the bad guy?  

"It wasn't Tasuki fault, Tori."  Nuriko cut in.  "We ran into some jerks but nothing serious."  He fingered the truant strand of hair, sighing as he recalled the handsome man's touch.  Tasuki rolled his eyes in disgust.  Noting to tell, my ass!

"Nothing serious?"  Hotohori took a firm hold of Tasuki's chin and turned his face to one side so that he could examine the bruise.  He frowned and shook his head.  "We are suppose to meet Seguchi Tohma in an hour.  I don't suppose you know how to get rid of this…coloration by then?"

Nuriko examined Tasuki's face with interest.  "Weeelll…"  He started thoughtfully.

"Ya fucking suggest make-up and I'll fucking deck ya!"  Tasuki glared at his braided friend dangerously.

Hotohori slapped a hand over his eyes in anguish.  "Tasuki!  You WILL remember NOT to use that language in the meeting, right?"

"What meeting?"  Nuriko raspberried Tasuki.  "If we can't hide that trophy you've got, we can't have a meeting.  Who would back up a singer who looked like he'd just had a brawl?"  Nuriko raised his brow, challenging Tasuki to disagree.

"It wasn't my fault!"  Tasuki grumbled as he shuffled his feet.  "It's not fair.  And why do we need him anyways?  I just need you guys."

Hotohori sighed.  "We talked about this before, Tasuki.  We'll still be with you, it's just that you need other forms of exposure as well."  He ruffled the wild red hair affectionately.  "You need to mingle with other celebrities and NG could do that for you."

"I don't need no fucking mingling."  Tasuki mumbled some more.

Nuriko laughed and hugged him.  "I love you, Tas-chan!  Look at it this way, the more people know of you, the more girls you're going to get!"

Tasuki grinned sheepishly though he tried to look indignant.  "Fuck, Nuri.  You're making me sound like a horny rock star!"

"You are."  Hotohori said under his breath, earning a glare from Tasuki. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

43 minutes, 3 jars of foundation and one pissed off Tasuki later, Nuriko announced that the red head was finally presentable enough to go to the meeting.

"It's about fucking time!"  Tasuki complained, his face twitching with annoyance. 

"Look!  You have a nasty bruise that's changing colors as I work!  And your complexion is far from easy to work with!  Do you want to look like those zombies from 'The Night Of The Living Dead'?"

"We didn't have to do it at all!"  Tasuki shouted back.

"Yes we did!" Nuriko, hands on his pips, braid swing forward, retorted.

"No, we didn't!"  Tasuki assumed a similar position san braid.

Hotohori sighed and rolled his eyes skyward.  He calmly stepped between the two and pushed them gently back.

"Okay, children, let get going, shall we?"  He said in his usually controlled tone.  "We don't want to be late, Seguchi-san had arranged some press to be there as well."  His handsome face frowned slightly.  "I'm not sure but he said something about a genius song writer that he had wanted you to meet."

Tasuki balked.  "OI!  I can write my own fucking songs and I have Nuri!"

"We're in the big league now.  You'll still have Nuriko, and this genius will only act as a consultant of some sort."  He walked back to Tasuki and pushed the man ahead of him.  "Will you please hurry?  The meeting is downstairs and we have only a few minutes left."

They arrived at the meeting room and were surprised to find that it was more like a press release than a small meeting.  There, to one side of the room was a large sofa by the window, facing a couple of cameramen and reporters.  A large comfortable looking chair was positioned next to the sofa, turning slightly inward, facing the larger seat.

A delicate looking blond with startling green eyes smiled as they entered and offered his hand to Hotohori, who shook it warmly.

"It's good to see you again Hotohori-san."  His voice was husky and warm.  He turned his smiling face to Tasuki and Nuriko and extended his hand.

"Tasuki-kun, you are much more attractive in person, I see."  Tohma cocked his head to one side as he studied the red head.  "That's very good."  He gave a small laugh as Tasuki mumbled his pleasantries and his thanks.  

"Nuriko-kun.  I've heard much of your talent.  Maybe we could talk about other projects for you as well."  He smiled at the gaping Nuriko then lead them to the sofa and sat down on the large chair.

"Well, are you excited about joining NG productions?"  He asked them, still smiling.

Tasuki gulped and let Hotohori and Nuriko answer the more general questions; his mind was still not used to being with such a large and well-known company.  NG was gigantic in the music business. 

Tasuki paused and nearly choked as he saw a silent figure slipped in the door and stood inconspicuously by the door.

It's HIM!  

Tasuki jerked up in his seat and stared at the tall figure.  Nuriko, sensing the tension, looked to where Tasuki was staring fixedly.  

'What do you know?'  Nuriko thought, interest peaked.  'It's the man from the park!'

Tasuki blushed when he saw that the man had recognized him.  He frowned with irritation as the bored looked on the man's face turned to amusement as the stranger watched the various emotions flashed across the red head's face.  Tasuki cursed under his breath.  What the hell was wrong with him?  Why was he reacting like a silly kid…a silly schoolgirl facing her crush…?

_NO!_ He screamed silently.  _What the FUCK am I thinking?_

Tasuki was furious when a smirked touched those cold lips and the red head looked away in disgust.  He was going to beat the crap out of that man!

Nuriko's elbow in his ribs brought him back to the conversation and he cursed himself for the umpteenth time.  He had no idea what the question was.  

Shit! Tasuki looked at the reporter who was looking at him expectantly.  They were already on Q&A?

Seguchi Tohma laughed quietly.  "It's always the talented ones that have the poorest attention span.  Shuuichi is much worst that Tasuki, believe me."  Then looking at Tasuki, he repeated the reporter's question.

"Do you have a love interest, Tasuki-kun?"

Tasuki's eyes came to rest unbidden on the single brown eye at the back of the room.  His heart pounded thunderously in his chest and Tasuki shook his head mutely.  A delicate brow on the nameless man rose in amusement and Tasuki bristled to see the smirk back on that…beautiful face.

"Ah, he's young…that will all change when hundreds of girls chase you around the city."  Another reporter's voice sounded and there was a general agreement and good-natured laughter.

The rest of the meeting/press release was a blur to the flustered red head.  He was only aware of the formidable figure by the door that scrutinized him silently the entire time.  He hated the man!  He would fucking knock his socks off.  He would…he would…HURT him!  Tasuki's thoughts revolved around ways to make the damn man suffer…intensely.

When the reporters filed out and the three friends had more time to themselves, Hotohori turned to Tasuki.

"You didn't cuss once, Tasuki.  That was very impressive." 

Tasuki mumbled something unintelligible under his breath and stopped when Tohma approached them.  Tasuki's breath caught in his throat when he saw that next to the infamous producer and Nittle Grasper's keyboard player was none other than the stranger that had his thoughts in turmoil all day.

Tohma took them to his spacious office and gestured for them to relax in the sitting area.  The stranger came with them, silent as usual.  As they sat on the large couch, Tohma sat on another couch, opposite them, across the coffee table.  The tall stranger stood leaning against the wall not too far away, looking at them with indifference.

"Chichiri-san."  Tohma called softly to the man in black.  _Chichiri…_

Tasuki stared openly at Chichiri.  Even the name sent shivers up and down his spine.

"This is Tasuki, Nuriko and Tasuki's manager, Hotohori-san."  He turned a smiling face towards them.  "This is Chichiri."

"WOW!"  Nuriko squealed.  "I had NO idea!"  He nearly jumped off the couch.  "THE Chichiri! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!"

"What the hell are you so excited about?" Tasuki growled at his best friend in annoyance.  "You sound like the ass hole is a god or something."

Gasps could be heard and silence reigned after that.  Amusement flashed across Chichiri's face but he said nothing.  Nuriko had his hand across his mouth, eyes wide in horror.

Hotohori groaned inwardly and slumped down in his chair.  He knew a well-behaved Tasuki was too good to be true.  But to call the most ingenious of all songwriters an ass hole…

Tohma paled and glanced at Chichiri worriedly.  The silent man stared back, expressionlessly and the blond producer cleared his throat before speaking.

"Are you referring to the rumors?"  He asked uncomfortably.  "I don't understand how you---"

Tasuki snorted.  "Rumors my ass!  We met this morning, the jerk all but told me to fuck off!"  He glared at the bland expression on Chichiri's face.

Hotohori slid further down in his seats.  It seemed that any hope of salvaging a decent relationship had just flown out the windows.

Chichiri pushed off the wall, the look on his face clearly said that he'd rather be elsewhere.  When he spoke, his voice sent tremors throughout Tasuki's body.

"His style is too wild.  His songs have no direction and if they don't change, he'll limit his audience."  He turned towards the door and added over his shoulders as he left the room, "I'll be in my office."  

Tasuki sputtered angrily and he stood up, clearly intending on going after Chichiri.  Both Nuriko and Hotohori each grabbed hold of an arm.

"That fucking ass hole!  I'm going the beat the shit out…. Mmph!"  Nuriko clamped a strong hand firmly over his mouth and gave him a warning glare.

Tohma looked at the three friends uncertainly as they settled back down on the couch.

"Gomen."  Tohma told them quietly.  "Chichiri doesn't like…people very much.  I'm afraid he's not very good with them."

"No shit!"  Tasuki said, earning him another bruised rib, courtesy of Nuriko's elbow.

Tohma frowned and shifted in his seats.  "He's not a bad person, really.  He's just…he doesn't trust people."  The blond said reluctantly.  "Chichiri's directions could take your career to a different heights.  I recommend that you give it a chance."  He smiled broadly at them and Tasuki had a feeling that they had no choice in the matter.

"I agree."  Hotohori said as he stared down Tasuki's protests.  "I've heard wonderful things of his work.  We'll give his suggestions careful considerations."

"Mou, Seguchi-san, at the park…where we met Chichiri, he scared away some pretty tough guys with just a look.  They mentioned rumors too."  Nuriko twisted his braid nervously in his grasp.  "Why are they so afraid of him?"

Tohma frowned and thought hard for a moment.  He went over to a file cabinet and took out an old newspaper.  He gave the paper to Nuriko and smile wanly.

"Chichiri is a very private person.  No pictures had been taken in over 10 years."  He pointed to the newspaper.  "That will tell you something about him but I can tell you nothing else…for now."  He looked at them intently as he studied them.  "He's very dear to me and my friends.  Very dear."

To Tasuki, the message was clear.  'Mess with Chichiri and they would pay, major time.'

A knock on the door cleared the tension in the room and the smile was back in those intense green eyes.  A tall, nervous looking young man in a dark suit, with short black hair and glasses entered and walked towards them.

"Sakano-kun."  Tohma greeted the newcomer.  "Perfect timing as usual."  Tohma introduced the famed Bad Luck's producer to Tasuki and his friends.

"I have another meeting across town, Sakano, would you be kind enough to give our new friends tour of our facilities?"

Sakano smiled openly at the three friends and nodded.  "I would love to.  Shuuichi is dying to meet you, Tasuki-kun.  He has your CD, I believe."  He told the red head as he led them out of the office.

"Shindoh Shuuichi?  Has my single?"  Tasuki was beyond surprise.  The pink hair teen idol was interested in his song?

Sakano laughed and nodded.  "And gushing about how great it is too!  I believe he and Sakuma-san are listening to it and discussing it this very moment."

"Ryuuichi Sakuma…?"  Nuriko's eyes were as wide as saucers before they rolled back and the pretty braided boy collapsed in a dead faint.

Hotohori gasped and caught his friend, cradling the smaller boy tenderly.  Tasuki rescued the newspaper and tugged it under his arms as he helped Hotohori and Sakano take Nuriko into the nearest office.

The unconscious boy was laid to rest on a broad couch with Hotohori fussing like a mother hen.  Sakano had left to find help and Tasuki settled down at the table, reading the newspaper.  

At his ferocious frown, Hotohori left Nuriko to come sit next to Tasuki.  "What is it?"  The tall handsome youth asked.

Tasuki pushed the newspaper to his friend silently, his mind trying to process the incredulous story printed over 10 years ago.

"Wow."  Hotohori said under his breath when he was done reading.  He shook his head in disbelieve.  "That poor man.  I wonder how long he was in the mental ward."

"Too long it seems."  Tasuki said as he stared down at the smiling face of a 15-year-old Chichiri.  The open and friendly expression on the youth was totally different from the cold and cynical air around the older Chichiri.  The happy youth still had both his eyes…so the incident took out his left eye?  

"I wonder if they've ever found out what happened to all those boys."  Hotohori continued to scan the article, trying to understand the 'mysterious circumstance' that had killed 7 teen-agers.  "They probably deserved it too, from the report but what KILLED them?"  

"Maybe the cold bastard did."  Tasuki said without thinking and heard a gasp from the door.  Both he and Hotohori turned to the sound and found a very ill looking Sakano in the doorway.  

Right behind him was Chichiri.  If looks could kill, Tasuki would be so dead he wouldn't have any hopes of reincarnations…

TBC

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Did ja like it?  Did ja…did ja?

Next chapter: The Attraction

In the other stories, I had switch POV back and forth from Tasuki to Chichiri…I won't be doing that here…not just yet anyways.  I wanted to add to the mystery behind the man – no one knows his thoughts until the very end…

I shouldn't have mentioned the Ryuuichi/Chichiri lemon…now it won't leave me alone…

Please review and let me know your thoughts…


	3. The Attraction

Author's notes and warnings:  OMG!  I am going to have so much fun with this story!  So many hot guys!  In general, the difference between Chichiri and Yuki would be that while Yuki will go out of his way to say mean things to Shuuichi, Chichiri won't.  He just stays away from everyone in general…

Heartfelt thanks to all my wonderful reviewers!

**Purple Mouse**:  OMG!  You are, like, THE queen of H/N fanfics!  Another Story was great!  Not exactly my favorite couple and you had Chiri go to Kouran *pouts* but you are so talented! I'm even more nervous about H/N part of the story now  FY CD?  What's that?  Me want!  And you think they're nerdy? *Teary eyes* Not nerdy…totally kawaii, hot, sexy, drool-worthy…but not nerdy…wahhhh!!!

**Xellas**:  What's in the article?  Wouldn't YOU like to know. *cackles evilly*  And thanks for more great reviews…for 'Once Upon a Dream'.  *Great big hug*

**Kawaii**:  Ah…Chichiri belongs to Tas-chan, ne? I may let him have some fun…but his heart is taken, ne?  Arigatou!

**Sirrah**:  *squeals*  I'm so happy you liked the story!  Wow, you need to cool down now, how will you handle the lemon?  It's in this chapter…  Oh, I've got LOTR too!  Isn't it the best?  And there are things in GW that had me going 'say what?' as well but the boys are so much fun to play with…  Don't worry, I'll keep writing FY for you, k?

**Lady Pyrrha**:  Isn't Tasuki always in trouble anyways?  But to have Chichiri punish him…   O.O

**Keimei**:  I can't wait to get the legal version, no da.  Especially the OAV…I've looked everywhere.  No, no, no, not Shuuichi/Chichiri…Ryuuichi/Chichiri.  Shu-chan belongs to Yuki, Ryu-chan could look so HOT naked, next to Chichiri…*drool* Anou…Where's 'Geometry' no da?

**Obijan**:  Introducing Ryuuichi this chapter!  That cowboy hat definitely moved him higher on the HOT chart!  I have this silly grin every time I watch that scene…and when he sings at the end of track 8 (I think it's track 8, the super star show) OMG! *faints*

**Lily254**:  Hai! *nods vigorously*  Boy, is Tas-chan in trouble…

**Nuriko**:  Arigatou!  And I wrote more…

**Yifiig**:  Tas-chan wouldn't be our lovable bandit if it weren't for his mouth, na no da!  Arigatou!

**Shadow Priestess**: Smirked? Smirk?  Alas!  Since I DO have a life (and 2 fics to finish) I'll leave that alone for now but thank you very much!  I've read one of your stories…a GW one, and I think you write very well!  I hope you did well in your language arts project… 

**Donhisiewen**:  Thank you, it's nice to see your review again!  You liked my ghostly lemon, ne?  I'm planning either a sequel or an epilogue for that story…interested? 

**M_Chan**: Pocky, na no da! *glomps M_chan*  I saw the 'thingy' hanging in his car…I did wonder what the heck it was…Arigatou, no da!  I still think he's so cute with Ryuuichi…  *LOL* Eiri's got the bastard award…Chichiri won't be competing…he's just waiting for Tas-chan, ne?  As for Tohma…I think he's more concern with Eiri's well being than he is with 'breaking them up'…just my thoughts, but you are right, to quote Hitari-chan, "Quatre on creepy mode…"

**Hitari**:  I'm beginning to scare myself too!  Where are all these hentai thoughts coming from?  Woo hoo! Trowa/Quatre… did you read my GW 'Irreplaceable' fic? (shameless pluck) *snickers*  It's 3x4 romance… and I'm definitely adding K x Ryuuichi in here somewhere…  Chi/Tas are totally responsible for MY yaoi addition, and what a beginning too…*sigh*  Thanks for the hot cocoa and crackers!!!

**Alfirin Sereq Anuir** : Thank you very much!  I love these two shows as well!  Enjoy, no da…

**Midori**: Thank You!!!  I hope you enjoy my other stories, no da!

WARNING:  Yaoi (male/male) Lemon…Chichiri x Ryuuichi (Woo hoo! Yeah, baby!)   Voyeurism…Tasuki-chan no hentai!

Disclaimer:  They belong to someone else…

**Songs Of The Heart** – Chapter Three: The Attraction

By Moonraven 

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Tasuki stared at the closed door with his mouth hung opened.  Shit!  He'd put his foot in it this time.  Chichiri had swiveled on his heels and left almost immediately after hearing Tasuki's untimely comments with Sakano frantically running after him.  The look that could kill was eclipsed by another look briefly.  So brief in fact, Tasuki wondered if he had imagined the pain he saw in that deep brown eye.  The pain that pierced sharply into Tasuki's very own heart.

"Nice going, Tasuki!"  Hotohori scolded from his place on the couch next to Nuriko.

"How the fuck was I suppose to know he was there."  Tasuki asked, immediately on the defensive.  He bit his lips and stared at the closed door again.  Maybe he should go after him…

The door flung opened and a flustered Sakano entered.  He wrung his hand nervously as he came up to Tasuki.

"Anou, Tasuki-kun, you really shouldn't have said that."  He looked about ready to cry.

"Gomen, Sakano-san."  Tasuki said as contritely as possible.  "I…he just rubbed me the wrong way, that's all."

"You don't understand…the things you said…it…the rumors…AGH!"  Sakano covered his mouth hastily and with a final 'eep' fled the room.

Tasuki and Hotohori looked at each other in bewilderment.  There were those rumors again.

"Maybe I should go and apologize for you."  Hotohori suggested.

"Nah!  I'll do it.  I really put my foot in it this time."  Tasuki scratched the back of his head.

"Tasuki…" Hotohori wasn't sure it was wise to let Tasuki go after Chichiri but the determine look on the red head's face made him concede.  "Please, try to be civil."  Was all he said as he watched Tasuki leave the room.

Tasuki nodded grimly, his mind was still on the agony he saw reflected in the usually cold eye.

~*~*~*~

30 minutes later, he still hadn't found Chichiri.  Tasuki found it frustrating that no one was willing to tell him where the arrogant bastard was.  His name wasn't even on the directory; it was as if the man didn't work here.  Maybe he should try the basement, thought Tasuki sourly; surely they only let the man out for air once a day?

In his preoccupation, Tasuki ran headlong into…a pink bunny.  

"Itai, no da!"*****  Sprawled on the floor after the collision was a slender man with dark brown hair.  He was dressed in a yellow sweater and blue jeans, which accentuated his lean frame perfectly.  For an agonizing second, Tasuki thought he had knocked over Chichiri but to his infinite relieve, the man was much nicer looking than the icicle he had met earlier.  Tasuki mumbled an apology and helped the man up.  He looked vaguely familiar but Tasuki couldn't place his face.  The behavior was definitely odd, Tasuki thought as watched the man talk to the pink rabbit…

"Anou…" The strange man was now looking at him with a disarming smile.  That face…that smile…

"Saku…ma-san…?"  Tasuki barely squeaked as Ryuuichi Sakuma nodded vigorously.  

"I'm not hurt and Kuma's not hurt, are YOU hurt, no da?"  

_No da…_  Tasuki felt a stirring of something in his chest but could quite grasp the elusive feeling.  What…?  _No da…_

"Anou…" Ryuuichi waved the rabbit's arm in front of Tasuki's face.  "Are you alright?"

"Hai, Sakuma-san!  I'm so sorry."  Tasuki said, red faced.

The rabbit wiggled it's arm in front of him and Ryuuichi laughed gaily.  "It's okay, no da!  You're Tasuki."

Tasuki blushed, "Hai."  OMG! Tasuki panicked.  The god of half the young people in Japan knew HIM!  How cool was that?

"You wanna come play with Kumagorou and me?"  Ryuuichi asked, blinking innocently at Tasuki.

"I would LOVE to!"  Tasuki nearly shouted in his excitement then he remembered Chichiri and his face fell.

Ryuuichi noticed and his smile changed to a worried frown.  "What's the matter, no da?"

There it was again, that strange emptiness and longing in the pit of his stomach.  _No da…_

"Well…I'm looking for someone.  It's very important and I can't seem to find him."  Tasuki wanted to kick Chichiri into next Thursday; because of that damn man, he would miss the opportunity to 'hang out' with Ryuuichi Sakuma.  Tasuki sighed, it was only a chance of a life time…no biggie…

"Kuma help, Kuma help!" Ryuuichi waved the rabbit in front of Tasuki energetically.  Tasuki swore if it weren't for Sakuma-san, he would do some major damage to that damn rabbit.

"Who's lost?"  The damn rabbit asked.  At least it was made to appear that way.  

"Um…he's not lost, he works here, only no one would help me find him.  His name is Chichiri."

The rabbit stopped moving and was lowered so that Tasuki could see the man that puppeteered it.  Ryuuichi gave Tasuki a careful look and the red head noticed the difference in the man's expression.  Tasuki swallowed.  He looked completely different.  THIS was the man on stage that had millions of teenager, AND some, screaming in frenzy.  THIS was the Ryuuichi Sakuma, the legendary singer of Nittle Grasper.

"Why do you want to see Chichiri?"  His voice was lower than the one he had used earlier.  Very sexy, thought Tasuki.  No wonder he had both girls and guys swooning all over Japan.

"Um…"  Tasuki was suddenly nervous.  This was not the same man he ran into.  There was no trace of playfulness, only intent watchfulness.  Tasuki wondered what they were all protecting.

"I said something to him that I shouldn't have and really would like to apologize."  Tasuki mumbled.  The intense blue eyes studied him thoughtfully for what seemed like an eternity to Tasuki, and then the damn rabbit was back in the red head's face again.

"Kuma knows where Chichiri is!  This way!"  Rabbit and man led Tasuki to the third floor…after Tasuki was led up and down several floors before Kumagorou decided that they weren't followed and it was safe to see Chichiri.

Damn rabbit!

They came to a stop in front of an ordinary door.  No nameplate, no sign, no window, and no indication that it could possibly belong to the infamous Chichiri, the genius songwriter.

In fact, it looked more like a broom closet.  

Tasuki looked over to Ryuuichi and was surprise to find the serious man there instead of his genki alter ego.  

"Are you sure this is his office?"  Tasuki looked at the door skeptically.

"Hai."  Came the soft reply.  Tasuki looked over to the older man and found him regarding Tasuki with some amusement.

"Knock on the door, Tasuki."  The melodic voice said as the owner of the voice smiled slightly.  "He won't know you're here unless you knock."

Duh!  Tasuki mentally banged his head against the door.  This was so not cool! *****

Tasuki knocked and waited…

…and waited…

Then he knocked again…and waited again...

"Guess he's not in."  Tasuki said with a mixture of disappointment and relief.  He turned to go when Ryuuichi took a hold of his wrist.  The older man cocked his head to one side as he gazed into Tasuki's golden eyes.  There seemed to be an unfathomable depth to those incredible blue eyes…it felt like they were reaching right into Tasuki's very soul.

"Don't give up, Tasuki.  If you really want something, don't give up." 

Tasuki swallowed hard and turned back towards the door.  _Don't give up…_

He pounded on the door until it shook and had it been made of less sterner stuff, would have splintered into thousands of pieces.

Ryuuichi and Kumagorou winced simultaneously,(Don't ask) as Tasuki spout profanity at the wooden barrier.

"Open up, already!  What the hell?  Your butler took a vacation?"  Tasuki raised his fist to bang on the door some more when it flew opened and he ended up losing his balance…and fell right onto the hard unyielding chest of Chichiri.  Fuck, thought Tasuki, the door would have been softer.

"Chichiri!"  Squealed Tasuki's unbalanced companion.  "Kuma missed you, Ryu-chan missed you!"  The genki alter ego of Ryuuichi Sakuma glomped onto the stunned Chichiri, waving the pink bunny madly.  "We want crayons and paper, crayons and paper!"  The chant for coloring pencils, crayons and such continued until Chichiri laughed and pushed both the bouncing man and rabbit inside his office.

"You know where they are, go to it then, Ryu-chan."  

Tasuki caught his breath.  He had never seen a softer expression on any one's face let alone this walking stonewall.  The previously cold brown eye was now warm and filled with such affection that Tasuki's mouth hung opened as he gawked at the man.  Only one thought filled his mind; the man was beautiful.

Then the man turned a silent hostile glare at Tasuki.

Fuck!  Talk about split personality, Tasuki fumed as he stared back at he hard expression.  They stood there for sometime, glaring at each other silently until the fucking rabbit stuck it's head over Chichiri's Shoulder.

"Anou…did you apologized yet, no da?"  Chichiri's cool eyebrow rose quizzically at the question and Tasuki felt his cheeks heated up.  That fucking rabbit!  

"Er…no, I…was about to."  He stammered looking at his shoes.  When he looked up at Chichiri, the man's face was expressionless.  Tasuki sighed; at least the hate was gone.  Wish he could say the same about the damn rabbit perching on the broad shoulder…

Chichiri watched him silently, apparently not about to help the younger man out.  Tasuki didn't expect anything more from the man.  After all, Tasuki was the one who said those horrible words…

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking…*shook his head* I mean I was, but I still shouldn't have said it…*winced*  Not that I was thinking about IT to begin with, I was thinking of something else…*threw up his hands in disgust*   Fuck!  I'm just sorry, okay?"  What the hell happened?  When that brown eye gazed at him so intensely like that, Tasuki found it difficult to form intelligent words.  Ideas and thoughts formed in his brain but none made it passed his lips.

Chichiri frowned and after a moment's hesitation, nodded.  He looked as if he was about to say something but changed his mind and went back inside his room with Kuma.  The door closed with an echoing click.

Tasuki clenched his teeth angrily.  That damn man!  The least he could do was SAY something!  All Tasuki got was a NODD? 

The red head was seething all the way back downstairs.  He paced the hallway mumbling to himself as he thought of the things he WAS going to say to Chichiri.  This time, he thought, it would come out right.  This time, Tasuki would tell Chichiri what a complete asshole the older man was.  

Tasuki didn't know how it happened but he was back in front of Chichiri's door.  He recited silently the words he was going to say and pounded the door once more.  He didn't expect an answer, so he pounded harder as he yelled for Chichiri to open the door.

To his utter surprise, the door opened softly, all by itself.  The red head frowned, maybe it wasn't closed properly and all the vibrations in Tasuki's aggression loosen the lock?  Tasuki shrugged and opened the door cautiously less the man was hiding behind it; ready to jump him.

No one was around.  He moved slowly into the room and looked around.  The room was small compared to Seguchi Tohma's and less…lived in.  There was a large desk at the corner of the room strewed with music sheets and notes.  Musical instruments and synthesizers made up the rest of the room.  It looked more like a recording studio than an office. 

To the right of the room were two doors.  One was slightly ajar and the other shut.  Tasuki moved silently towards the slightly opened door.  As he came closer, he could hear moaning and grunting sounds coming from behind the door.  Tasuki was no stranger to sexual sounds and he knew them when he heard them.  These were 'them'.  Yet, he couldn't control his feet; they brought him to the crack in the door and he peeked in.

Tasuki had to slap a hand to his mouth to stop the gasp that nearly escaped.  His hands shook and his eyes widen as he watched, mesmerized by the scene inside the room.  

Two figures stood behind the couch; Ryuuichi Sakuma and Chichiri…what the fuck…?

Ryuuichi was completely naked leaning over the back of the sofa, legs spread wide, ass in the air with an equally naked Chichiri kneeling with his face between the man's spread cheeks.  As he watched, Tasuki found to his chagrin, that he was becoming alarmingly aroused. Chichiri pushed one of Ryuuichi's leg over the back of the couch, giving himself better access to whatever treasure he found between the cheeks of the god of rock music while the latter moaned and thrust down onto the invading tongue.

Tasuki knew he should probably leave; this was a private thing, right?  And he wasn't even gay!  Why the hell was he so fucking hard?  Why the hell did he want that face between his own ass?

The door was to the side of the two men and from his position, Tasuki could see everything they were doing. The thick dripping arousal of Chichiri pulsed and throbbed as the man lapped and plunged his tongue into the tight opening of Ryuuichi Sakuma.  Tasuki panted and wanted nothing more that moment than to take that engorged cock into his mouth and sucked it for all he was worth. What would Chichiri taste like?

Where the hell did THAT come from?  The startled redhead couldn't believe he was having sexual thoughts about another man.  He had NEVER been attracted to a man before…he was NOT gay, right?

But ever since he had met Chichiri…all he could think about was the scarred enigmatic man who managed to both enraged and aroused him at the same time.  Everything Tasuki thought he knew about his own sexuality crumbled into a confusing mass as the man he swore he hated, stoked the raging fire within Tasuki's soul.

"AH!"  An exclamation from the sexy rock star drew an answering moan from Chichiri who was now pumping two fingers inside the man.  Tasuki shuddered and found himself rubbing his own aching arousal fervently.  Gods, they were so fucking hot!

"Chichiri!"  Ryuuichi gave a choked moaned as he silently begged to be fucked.  The crouching man removed his fingers and coated his thick shaft with lubricant.  Chichiri moved up to cover the writhing man's body with his own and nipped at the back of Ryuuichi's neck.  With one arm holding up the older mani's leg, Chichiri guided his purple tipped cock to the Ryuuichi's entrance and drove in hard and fast.  Both men groaned and Tasuki was sure he did too.  He could feel himself tightening more and almost exploded as he watched Chichiri's lithe form piston in and out of the sweat glistened form beneath him.

Tasuki moaned as he clutched at his throbbing bulge and nearly died when Chichiri turned a cool gaze in his direction.  Frozen with his breath caught in his throat, Tasuki could not move if his life depended on it.  That hypnotic brown eye held him captive and a small smirk lifted the corner of Chichiri's mouth.  The older man continued to thrust deep and hard into Ryuuichi as his gaze locked with Tasuki.

Tasuki's whole body shook as the couple in front of him approached their climax.  He was near his as well.  Chichiri's eye never left him and Tasuki felt as if the older man was pounding into his body instead of the legendary rock star's.  

Ryuuichi came first with a shout and nearly collapsed onto the back of the sofa had Chichiri not have a firm hold of his waist.  Chichiri continued to thrust almost violently into the trembling body, not ready to finish.  His eye bore into Tasuki, silently urging him to come...and Tasuki did.  The force of the orgasm shook his whole body and Tasuki had to grab hold of the doorframe to steady himself.  A satisfied smirk returned and Chichiri drove in deep one final time and came with a hoarse cry.  The strength of his orgasm propelled his hips forward a few more times before he enfold the sated body of his lover in his arms.  When he looked up at the doorway, the red head was gone.

"You're very mean to him, Chichiri."  Ryuuichi murmured as he twisted around and kissed the younger man.  "I feel something in that man, some deep rooted connection to you."

Chichiri looked at him thoughtfully before planting a kiss on those full lips.  "Get dress, na no da."  He told the older man softly.  "You think too much."  Chichiri turned towards the door again and frowned as Ryuuichi collected their clothes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Aiya!" Exclaimed Nuriko as he opened his eyes to find Hotohori looking at him worriedly.  "Tori!  What happened?"  He gingerly sat up and rubbed at his fuzzy head. 

"You fainted.  Are you alright?"  Hotohori gently help the younger man sit up and hand him a glass of water.

Nuriko blushed and groaned inwardly.  He fainted in front of Hotohori!  The man must think he's an idiot!

"Um…yeah, I feel much better, thanks."  He mumbled into the glass. 

"Why?"  Hotohori wanted to know.

Nuriko blinked at him blankly.  "Why do I feel better?  Well, let me see---"

"No, when you heard his name, why did you…"  Hotohori looked embarrassed and shook his head.  "Never mind."

"You're kidding, right?  I mean, Ryuuichi Sakuma is like, the GOD of all bishounens!  He's THE hottest thing that had ever walked the earth!"  Nuriko gushed, eyes sparking stars as he thought of the rock star.

"Oh!"  Was all Hotohori managed to say.

Nuriko looked over to his long time friend and love.  Was Hotohori…hurt?  Jealous?  A part of his mind squealed with glee at the thought yet the other part ached for the man he had loved since grade school.  Hotohori was still such a vain man, but Nuriko loved him with all of his heart and soul.

"Tori-chan."  Nuriko called softly and was pleased to see color tinted the handsome brunette's cheeks.  "He's a rock star, people suppose to swoon at the mere thoughts of him.  You, on the other hand, are the handsomest man in all of creation.  You know that right?  Look at all your admirers."  Nuriko nudged him teasingly.  "Have you looked in the mirror today?"

Hotohori smiled at his friend and shook his head.  "Baka."  He was glad that Nuriko had thought that he was upset at not being the 'hottest thing to walk the earth."  He wasn't sure what Nuriko would say had the smaller man known that he, Hotohori, felt pain at the thought of Nuriko loving someone else.

'Yes, I will always be your little baka.'  Thought Nuriko sadly.  'I just wish I could be so much more.'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Note:

Wai! Wai!  Another chapter, na no da!  How did you like this one?  Woo! *fanning herself* That lemon was…yummy!  Ya like?  Don't worry, Chichiri and Tasuki WILL get together, I just HAD to do a Chi/Ryu lemon.  They are so hot together!

***** "Itai, no da!"  hehehe   Doesn't Ryuuichi sound just like Chiri?

*****  'This was so not cool!'  Moonraven fanfiction trivia… Which other story contained that sentence?

My apologies to all the Kumagorou fans out there…I have nothing against Kuma but I just can't see Tasuki all mushy over the stuffed pink bunny…

I wrote Ryuuichi somewhat mystical…I've always felt he was so…ethereal?

Next Chapter: The Past  finally

Feedback na no daaaaaa!!!!


	4. The Past

Author's notes and warnings:  *sigh*  I'm sure you've noticed the change in the rating of this fic…I've seen similar things happened all over FF.net…  It's just too bad we have to be…censored?  I guess this is similar to censorship…we have to conform or else… Oh well.

Thanks to my reviewers, as always…there can be no stories without you:

**Kawaii**: *LOL* I'm glad you liked it!  Thank you very much!  I hope you're checking out Gravitation to see how HOT Ryuuichi is, right?  Not because of the pink bunny…?

**Mouse-chan**: Thanks for the encouraging words and the e-mail!  I did modify the rating and I guess I'd have to be less graphic in my lemons from now on…  SO not cool!!  Hmmm…I'm familiar with the music CDs but not the book-on-CD thing.  Mizu Kagami is my all-time favorite song, EVER!  I listen to it all day at work!  So beautiful!  Thanks again!!!

**Shadow** **Priestess**: See?  For a young writer, you have every reason to be proud of your work!  I'm sorry you didn't like the lemon, I'm afraid it's going in that direction in this story.  I think it's fitting for the characters I'm writing, especially Chichiri.  He's not the same as in the other stories…  I hope you can bear with me?  Arigatou, no da!

**Lily254**: *LOL* Another person who didn't like my lemon!  Gomen!  Tasuki and Chichiri WILL have their own lemon; don't worry!  This IS a Chi/Tas fic, after all.  Besides, I had Chichiri walk in on Tasuki during sex in 'REDEMPTION'; it's only fair that Tasuki gets to watch Chichiri, ne?

**Lady** **Pyrrha**: *giggles* The bunny (Kumagorou) is strange but he makes Ryuuichi so…well…unique!  Thank you!

**Shinigami**: Don't give up on FF.net just yet.  Many stories have been modified to 'R' rating all over the site.  We, as writers, just have to be more…creative when we write and post our stories.  Stay with me on this, okay?

**Chisama**: I won't leave you guys hanging.  They will get together and you'll read it even if I have to e-mail the story to every person who requests it!  Thank you!

**Sakata**: Same seiyuu!  Can you imagine an anime crossover…with a lemon?  How confusing is that?  But I'll bet he'd enjoy it!  I know I would!  Arigatou, no da!

**Hitari**-**chan**: Hopefully with the 'R' rating, this story will stay put.  If not, I'll e-mail new chapters to you if you want. *grins*  I used to post at Media Miner, I just didn't get the encouragement that I get here…but I could always go back.  Are you anticipating the LOTR Special Edition coming out in Oct.?  I am SO getting it!  Anyway, K is introduced in this chapter as well as Shuuichi and Yuki.  And I want that PWP!!!

**Keimei**: *LOL* You'll get some Chi/Tas lime in this chapter, good enough?  Not a full blown lemon yet, I have to build the anticipation…*LOL* Besides, I have to satisfy the 'R' rating, you know.  But hang in there, okay?  I won't leave Tasuki hanging! Thank you for the review!

**Xellas**: *jumping up and down happily*  I like this Chiri too! Ooooh, and more Tasuki squirming coming right up!  ~.~ Arigatou!!

**TigerBlak**: Arigatou, na no da!!!  I'm so happy you liked it so far!  Southern style?  *LOL* I'm touched…(((HUGS)))

This chapter will explain Chichiri's past as well as Ryuuichi.  I know I was into a K/Ryuuichi romance and since I was freaking out Hitari-chan, and I do want Tohma away from Yuki, I'm switching to Ryuuichi/Tohma instead.  I just love Quatre…I refuse to believe that anyone who looked like that could be…bad.   I know, I know, fickle!  Oh, well…

Warning:  Heavy Lime…Chichiri/Tasuki

**Songs Of The Heart** – Chapter 4: The Past

By Moonraven

"No fucking way!" Tasuki stared open-mouth at his braided friend.

"Yes, way."  Nuriko nodded knowingly.  "And quit yelling, will ya Tasuki?"  He looked around the NG building's café to see if anyone could overhear their conversation.  He loved a good story as well as the next guy (or gal) but he knew enough to only share them with his closest friends.

Hotohori's jaws dropped the same time as Tasuki's and he gaped at Nuriko in disbelieve.  Where did he GET this stuff?  Nuriko reached over and gently closed his mouth.

"Hotohori, as gorgeous as you are, that look just…well isn't becoming."  He teased the handsome man.

Hotohori swallowed and frowned.  "Where…? When…? How…?"  He couldn't even begin to voice his question.

"It's the truth."  Nuriko nodded solemnly.  "Everyone knows it, ne, Shu-chan?  They just won't say it in the open."  Nuriko turned to a red-faced teen with bright pink hair who looked like he'd rather be anywhere but there.

Shuuichi Shindoh glanced uneasily between his 3 new friends.  He had NO idea how Nuriko could get information so fast and so accurately.  They had just been there a little over a week.  The boy was so good it was scary.

"Anou…Nuriko-kun, I don't think---" Shuuichi didn't get to finish because the energetic pretty boy was already giving more details.

"Shu-chan's boyfriend was the cause of the break-up, ne, Shuuichi?"  He leaned in towards the center of the round table and almost whispered.  "Tohma was besotted with young Eiri and left Ryuuichi in the cold."  Nuriko put his hand over his heart melodramatically.  "So sad, I tell you.  Ryuuichi was heartbroken and nearly went crazy.  I heard that's when the rabbit thing got really bizarre.  That was, what, six years ago?"  He turned to the young teen by his side.  Shuuichi was wringing his hands on the table unhappily.

Hotohori, seeing the young man so distraught, put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.  "I doubt that Nuriko's got all his facts straight…"  He paused when Shuuichi gave him an 'Oh-he-got-it-straight-alright' look.  The older man cleared his throat uncomfortably before continuing.  "Not that it mattered, Yuki-san is with you now, all that is just water under the bridge."  He turned and gave Nuriko a disapproving frown.

"Hotohori!"  The braided boy gave an exasperated sigh.  "Of course it's ancient history.  I'm not saying this to get Shu-chan all upset."  Nuriko looked around conspiratorially and almost giggled.  "The interesting part concerns Tasuki's heartthrob from Siberia."

"HE'S NOT MY FUCKING HEARTTHROB!"  Tasuki jumped up and yelled at the top of his lung, attracting the attention of everyone in and around the café.  Unfortunately for the furious redhead, the 'heartthrob from Siberia' was standing in the doorway with a brooding, tall blond.  Both men, as well as everyone else, turned in the direction of their table and Nuriko eeped in fright as he ducked under the table.

For the hundredth time since he had set eyes on the inscrutable man, Tasuki wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

The bored expression turned cynical at the sight of the redhead and a brow rose mockingly as he realized the exclamation pertained to him.  The single taunting eye traveled up and down Tasuki's body slowly, reminding the flustered young man of what he had been partied to a few days ago.  To Tasuki's ultimate humiliation, his body began responding to the erotic scrutiny.  Tasuki swallowed hard and sat down hastily; he SO did not need this. 

But it was too late.  Chichiri's customary smirked appeared as his eye rested briefly on the growing bulge in the younger man's pants.  He captured Tasuki's embarrassed gaze as the younger man sat down, then he leaned over and said something to the tall blond next to him.  A ferocious frown appeared on the blonde's handsome face and his eyes narrowed severely as they rested on the pink haired teen.  Next to him, Tasuki could hear Shuuichi whimpered at the look and empathized one hundred percent.  He was the target of the same look many times over…usually from Chichiri.

Tasuki stared at the two men walking gracefully towards him and his friends and swore they took the same course in 'How to Glare For Optimum Effect'.  What the hell?  

"Yu…ki."  Shuuichi squeaked next to the redhead.  Tasuki looked at the advancing blond then back at his new friend.

"So this is your boyfriend?  Eiri Yuki?" 

"H-Hai."  Shuuichi swallowed. Yuki hated it when people discuss Chichiri; he was as protective of the man as Tohma was protective of him.  Shuuichi wanted nothing more that moment than to join Nuriko under the table.  Well, maybe he wanted one thing more but at the current expression on Yuki's face, he doubted that he would get THAT anytime soon.

"Brat."  Yuki said silkily as he stopped at their table. 

"Yuki."  Shuuichi squeaked.  "W-what a surprise.  You didn't tell me you were coming."

There was a long pause before Yuki replied.  During which time, Shuuichi had stopped breathing. 

"So I didn't."  He looked annoyed, as if the younger boy had no right to know his whereabouts.

Surprisingly, it was Chichiri who came to the normally genki teen's rescue.

"Shuuichi, K is looking for you. I think he's in recording room 4."  He said evenly but the expression in his eye softened slightly as he talked to the teen.  "I would hurry, if I were you.  He was fingering that gun of his all morning. "  

Tasuki could almost see a hint of a smile on that unyielding face.  It was as if the man had taken pity on the young vocalist and gave him an escape route.  Tasuki wondered distractedly how he could get the man to show HIM that kind of gentleness…like the one he witnessed when Chichiri talked to Ryuuichi Sakuma… 

"H-Hai!"  Shuuichi scrambled over Tasuki and out of the booth they were sitting in.  "I'll see you tonight, Yuki."  He whispered to his lover as he scrambled past the blond.

Yuki snaked out a hand and gripped the younger man's collar, stopping him in his track.  Tasuki swore he heard an audible gulp from his new friend.  He scowled and got up; ready to defend the teen but Chichiri stopped him cold with one single glance.  Tasuki paused and looked uncertainly at the couple.  To his surprise, a small smile graced the severe lips of Eiri Yuki briefly before it was masked by a look of irritation. 

"Baka…"  Yuki said softly and Shuuichi gasped, turning around to look into his lover's eyes.   

"Yuki."  

Yuki traced Shuuichi's lower lip with his thumb tenderly before he hit the younger man over the head with the newspaper he was holding.

"YUKI!"  Shuuichi yelped, rubbing his head but the expression on his face was one of pure rapture.

"Don't be late or I'll change the locks."  Yuki threatened.

"Hai!"  Shuuichi beamed at the tall man and unexpectedly reached up and pecked Yuki on the cheek before running off, laughing gaily.

"Baka…"  Was all Yuki said as he watched the genki boy disappeared out the door.

"Yuki-san!"  Both Eiri Yuki and Chichiri jumped back a pace as Nuriko poked his head out from under the table, right in front of them.  The animated boy stared up, sparkly eyes, at the novelist.  He had a book in his hand and he sighed dramatically.  "Please sign my book?"  He thrust the book at the man's crotch, as he blinked up at his favorite romance writer.

Tasuki and Hotohori looked at each other in puzzlement.  Where the hell did he get the book?

Yuki raised an eyebrow and looked at Chichiri who only shrugged.  The tall blond took the book hesitantly.

"Your name."  

"Wai!  Nuriko."  The braided boy squeaked in excitement.

Tasuki rolled his eyes in disgust.  "What an idiot!"  He muttered under his breath and was rewarded with a stern glance from Hotohori.

Chichiri turned and gave him an amused look. 

"You're not interested in getting an autograph?"  He asked sardonically.

"I don't read that shit!"  He retorted.  He heard a groan from Hotohori and from somewhere under the table, something very hard made a very painful contact with his shin.  That fucking Nuriko!

At Tasuki's comments, Chichiri laughed out loud.  A sight and sound that completely blown the younger man away.   All Tasuki could do was stare at the open expression on the usually stern face as his heart did a curious little summersault in his chest.  Tasuki caught his breath as he found himself staring at the vulnerable face of the 15 year-old Chichiri in the newspaper.

Eiri Yuki snorted as he handed the book back to the swooning Nuriko and muttered under his breath.  "Wonder what shit HE reads."

Chichiri laughed at his friend's comments and cocked his head at Tasuki.

"DO you read, Tasuki-kun?"

'_Tasuki-kun, he called me Tasuki-ku--- Hey!  Wait a fucking minute!'_  The pitter-patter of Tasuki's heart ceased immediately and instead, thumped angrily in protest.  

"What the hell was that suppose to mean?"  He got up abruptly as he spat out his question.

"Anou…Tasuki."  Nuriko was instantly at his side, holding on to his arm.  "You shouldn't have said that about Yuki-san's books."  He whispered fiercely to his friend.

"Tasuki!"  Hotohori said in an authoritative tone he rarely used.  He got up and moved out of the booth from the other side and came to stand between the smoldering redhead and the unruffled songwriter.

"Tasuki."  He said more quietly.  "Please calm yourself."

"Why the hell for?"  Tasuki broke free from Nuriko, which was a task in itself, and face the taunting Chichiri.  The older man stared back impassively.

Yuki looked from Chichiri to Tasuki then back to his friend again.  A strange light flickered briefly in his eyes and he quirked his brow speculatively. 

"He's different."  Yuki said softly to Chichiri.  

The older man frowned and shook his head.  "No, he's no different."  With that said, he turned away and walked out of the café.

Yuki shrugged and turned to walk after his friend when Hotohori spoke up.

"What do you mean, 'he's different'?"

Yuki paused but didn't turn around. 

"He's not afraid."  The tall blond said over his shoulder as he walked away from them.

Tasuki snorted and gave the retreating back his middle finger.

"You're fucking right, I ain't afraid." 

Nuriko hastily grabbed the offending hand and smacked the back of Tasuki head with his book. 

"What the hell is WRONG with you?"  The smaller man nearly shook the daylights out of Tasuki.

"What the hell is wrong with HIM?"  Tasuki hissed at his friend.  "I swear he fucking hates me."   Tasuki didn't understand why the thought of the man's animosity towards him was painful.  The lump in his chest grew as he thought of how futile it was for him and Chichiri to be anything to each other but enemies.

"You started it, you big oaf!"  Nuriko retorted.  He studied his friend's dismal look and added softly, "I don't think he hates you at all.  In fact…"  Nuriko pulled Tasuki back into the booth and sidled up to him.  

"No."  Hotohori said firmly.  "No more gossips.  We have a meeting in 10 minutes, Nuri, let's go."

"Aw, but Tori-chan, I didn't get to tell Tasuki the most important part."  Nuriko whined as Hotohori pulled him from the booth.

"It can wait."  He replied.  "The meeting can't."  Without thinking, Hotohori wrapped his arms around the smaller man as he guided Nuriko away from the table.  This was not lost to the younger man and he sighed in contentment at the unconscious gesture and turned to wink at the grumbling redhead.

Tasuki rolled his eyes at the couple but smiled encouragingly at his friend.  That fucking Nuriko, nothing to tell my ass!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Put the gun away, K."  Sakano sighed as the tall blond pointed the magnum at the trembling braided boy clinging nervously to Hotohori's coat.

"He's late."  The tall blonde didn't waver as he narrowed his eyes at Nuriko.

"Anou…only 2 minutes, K-san, please put the gun away."  Shuuichi pleased with his manager.

"Next time, I pull out the M-16."  K said ominously as he put the safety back on and lowered the gun.

Nuriko gave a huge sigh of relieve before collapsing in a dead faint.  @.@

Hotohori caught his friend and gave K a menacing look that was more fitting of Tasuki.

"My, he seems to do that quite often."  Sakano commented as he peered over Hotohori's shoulder at the unconscious Nuriko.

"We've had an unprecedented day. One filled with hostility and threats of violence."  His eyes narrowed dangerously at K. 

Shuuichi came to kneel next to Hotohori.  "I'm so sorry, Hotohori-san, I should have warned you about K-san's…um…habits.  He just likes pulling out the guns, he doesn't shoot anyone really…oh…well hardly shoots anyone, any…way."

"You'll get used to it."  Fujisaka said from his position by the keyboard.  "We did."  The teen looked to his teammate, Hiro, for confirmation.  The tall redhead nodded his agreement.

"Hey, hey!"  K said as he whipped out the magnum again.  "Cut the chit-chat, we have a song to discuss!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I am NOT fucking working with him!"  Tasuki crossed his arms stubbornly when he was told to report to Chichiri's office to discuss some of the songs that the redhead wrote.

"Look, Tasuki.  Ever since the thing with Yuki's book, you have been avoiding him for weeks."  Hotohori said as calmly as he could.  "We have an agreement to work with him so you are going to go to his office now."

"No.  I won't."

"Yes, you will."

"No, I won't."

"You will."

"WON'T!"

"Nuriko…?"

"Don't even fucking think it, braid boy!"

"Will."

5 minutes later, Tasuki found himself deposited in front of Chichiri's broom closet via Nuriko Air.  That fucking freak show!  Might as well get it over with…

Tasuki banged on the door in his customary gentle way…not.  The door shook under his assault and he secretly hoped that it would just shatter.  Let's see where Chichiri would hide then.

Tasuki frowned and paused his attack.  The man really WAS hiding.  Ever since the incident 10 years ago, Chichiri dropped out of the public's eyes.  Literally.  His name was legendary in the industry but the man himself had never made any public appearance.  No one knew what Chichiri looked like.  There were even speculations that Chichiri was the creation of NG labels and that the man really didn't exist.  Tasuki thought about the happy 15 years old boy in the newspaper, Houjun Ri.  What was Houjun hiding from? 

"Anou…Tasuki-kun, no da."  Ryuuichi's head poked out from behind Chichiri's door, Kumagorou tucked haphazardly in the front of his shirt.

"Sakuma-san."  Tasuki swallowed.  Images of the other day flashed in his mind and he colored brightly.

"Come in, Tasuki."  The rock star in child mode beckoned Tasuki in and closed the door behind him.  "You want to see Chichiri?"  Ryuuichi asked as he fidgeted with Kuma's ear.

"No!"  Tasuki said rather too quickly.  "I mean, I HAVE to see him about some songs, not that I want…want to see him…or anything."  Aiya!

Ryuuichi regarded the younger man curiously and pulled out a chair for the redhead.  "Sit, na no da."  He told Tasuki softly.

"Chichiri will be back shortly, Tasuki-kun.  This will give us time to chat, na no da."  He said as he took the seat opposite the redhead.

Tasuki swallowed nervously as he stared at the non-existing pattern on the floor.  Oh my god, he thought, I hope he didn't know about the other day.  Another blushed crept into Tasuki's cheeks as his mind recalled the scenes he witnessed.

"Ask me anything you want, Tasuki.  I will answer one question, make it count."  Ryuuichi leaned back in his chair and rubbed absently on Kumagorou's ears, his childlike behavior gone.

"What do you mean?"  Tasuki looked up confused.

The older man smiled and raised his brow.  "That can't possible the question that's burning in your heart, Tasuki-kun?"

_The question burning in his heart…_

"What happened 10 years ago?"

Ryuuichi nodded as if he was expecting the very same question.  "I assume you meant Chichiri."  Tasuki nodded and the older man sighed heavily.

"He lost a lot of himself ten years ago."  Ryuuichi said sadly.  He looked up at the redhead and bit his lips as if having second thoughts.

"That's it?"  Tasuki asked incredulous.  "He lost himself and that supposed to make sense?"  What the fuck was going on here?

Ryuuichi laughed and shook his head.  "What a hot head you are.  No, Tasuki, there's more but no one must know about it.  Not even your friends."  His strange blue eyes bored deeply into Tasuki's as he searched for the younger man's intentions.

"Why tell ME, then?"  Tasuki shifted uneasily under the strange hypnotic gaze.

Ryuuichi didn't answer him but continued to study the younger man.  Tasuki felt like he was under a microscope and was about to cancel the whole thing when Ryuuichi gave a satisfied nod and continued.

"Chichiri was not always like this, or so I was told.  I didn't meet him until about 6 years ago, a little while before…Tohma took Eiri to the States.  Chichiri was already closed to the world at that time but Eiri had told us much about him.  You see, Eiri looked different from the other Japanese kids.  He was always picked on, especially by older kids.  Chichiri took the boy under his wings and protected him whenever he could.  Let's see…"  Ryuuichi tapped his chin thoughtfully.  "Eiri was about 10 and Chichiri would have been about 14 when they met.  That was 1 year before the horrible incident in the papers."  Ryuuichi broke off and stared at the wall unhappily.

Tasuki shifted again and cleared his throat.  "Sakuma-san, if this is too uncom---"

Intense blue eyes met his and Tasuki broke off abruptly.

"People were beginning to talk but Chichiri didn't care."  Ryuuichi continued as if he didn't pause.  "He cared for Eiri deeply but it was not in the way that people were saying.  Chichiri had never paid attention to what people said even then…but that would soon change.  When Chichiri was 15, he and Eiri were walking home from school when they came across a group of young boys.  One of the boys was Chichiri's good friend, Hikou.  The other six boys were kids from school who had crossed paths with Chichiri before.  They were beating Hikou and calling him names."  Ryuuichi looked sadly at Tasuki.  "Kids could be so cruel.  You see, Hikou was gay and people at that time were not as tolerant as they are now.  Chichiri send Eiri to get help while he went to help his friend.  Eiri didn't want to go but he was too young to do anything so he ran as fast as he could to find help.  When he returned with the police, they found Chichiri on his knees, seriously injured and covered in blood.  He was screaming and they couldn't stop his screams until they knocked him out with drugs.  The other boys were all dead, including Hikou.  They…the cause of death was never disclosed publicly.  It was too bizarre."  Ryuuichi pulled on Kuma reflexively as he frowned at the memories.

"But you know the cause of death?"  Tasuki prompted.

Ryuuichi nodded slowly.  "We have ways."  He looked at Tasuki and smile weakly.  "The coroner's report said that the internal organs of all the boys seemed to have…exploded.  They couldn't explain how that happened and Chichiri was put under 'observation' in a psychiatric home for troubled young men.  They did…experiments…things to find out if and how he did what they thought he did.  They didn't find what they wanted; Chichiri had stopped talking completely and withdrawn from the world.  Eiri visited every chance he got, even when Chichiri didn't seem to know who he was.  That's how we know some of the things we know of that time.   Chichiri spent 3 years in that place.  Three years."  Ryuuichi repeated heavily.  He looked up at the stunned redhead and sighed.  

"Don't be too hard on Chichiri, Tasuki-kun.  None of us could possibly know what happened to those boys or how that had affected him.  We could never know what horrors he went through in his mind and at the hands of those 'doctors'."

Tasuki was speechless.  Never in all his wildest imagination had he thought that Chichiri's past could be this…incredible, this horrible.  He couldn't find words to describe his thoughts let alone his feelings.  His whole being cried out at the pain and sorrow he knew Chichiri must have experienced and an image of him holing the Chichiri came unbidden to his mind.  How he wanted to comfort the tormented man but he knew that Chichiri would never allow it.  

What had kept the boy sane? What could possibly heal that kind of scar in your soul?

"You could help him, Tasuki.  Help him find his soul again."  Ryuuichi said softly as if he had read Tasuki's thoughts.

Tasuki looked up, puzzled.  "Why me?"

Before Ryuuichi could answer, the door slammed shut with an angry force.  Chichiri stood facing them; his lean powerful frame shook with suppressed anger as he glared at his lover.

"Yes, why HIM."  Chichiri's voice was deceptively calm.  His single eye glinted dangerously as he advance into the room.

Ryuuichi shrugged nonchalantly, seemingly not knowing the danger he was in.  "You know why, Chichiri."

"Um…"  Tasuki started nervously as he got up to leave.  "I should probably be going."

"No."  Chichiri turned a deadly eye on him.  "You stay…"  Then he turned to his lover, "YOU, leave.  I'll discuss this with you later."

Ryuuichi shrugged again and hopped on his feet.  "Anything you say, Chichiri."  He gave Tasuki a wink as he passed the younger man and disappeared out the door.

Tasuki turned back to the livid man in front of him.  He was about to apologize when his breath was knocked violently out of him.  He found himself pinned to the wall with Chichiri's forearm pressed firmly against his chest.

"What? No more cracks about the mass murderer?"  The older man asked angrily.  "Did you hear all that you came to hear?"

"Well, actually no."  Tasuki was surprised at how calm he was.  

Chichiri hissed and frowned at he redhead.  "What do you want?"  He asked, perplexed.  "I did everything to keep you away. Why are you here?"  Chichiri asked in frustration.

In the few weeks that they had know each other, Tasuki had never seen Chichiri lose his cool.  His façade of ice and indifference had never cracked, until now and Tasuki wasn't sure he liked to see Chichiri this aggravated.  

"I…" Tasuki stopped.  What DID he want?  Tasuki stared at the liquid brown eye and drew in a sharp breath.  The man was so fucking sexy.  So fucking close…

Chichiri's eye narrowed and he pressed his body against Tasuki's.  The younger man's eyes opened wide in shock as Chichiri leaned forward, placing his face just mere inches from the redhead's.

"Is this what you want, Tasuki-kun?"  He ground his hips into Tasuki's and flicked his tongue out to lick at the younger man's lips.  "Did you like what you saw the other day, Tasuki?"  He asked huskily.

Tasuki tried to push the man off him but he found that he really didn't want Chichiri to stop.  He was horrified to find himself leaning into the hard body pressing against him.

Chichiri chuckled and thrust his knees between Tasuki's thighs and the redhead unconsciously opened himself farther for the older man.  The achingly sweet friction between his legs caused Tasuki to throw back his head and a low moan escaped his parted lips.  Chichiri bent and covered the other man's mouth with his and delved his tongue between the eager lips.  His free hand snaked between their bodies and rubbed at the hard bulge between Tasuki's legs.  

Tasuki moaned into the kiss as Chichiri undo the buttons of his jeans.  He nearly stopped breathing when he felt the older man's hand slid inside and pull out his aching erection.  He couldn't believe this was happening.  Dimly he was aware of his rational mind yelling at him to push Chichiri away and to put his dick back in his pants.  But the need to feel that exquisite hand on his throbbing cock shoved all rational thoughts away and he thrust into the hand even as he returned Chichiri's kiss with ardor.

"Is this what you want, Tasuki?"  Chichiri's silky voice added to the fever of his body and Tasuki groaned deep in his throat.

"Tell me what you want Tasuki."  That hypnotic voice fueled his passion further and Tasuki reached between his legs and grabbed the hand that held his dripping shaft.

"This..y-you…I want you."  He whimpered as Chichiri pumped his cock, milking the liquid passion from him.  His shaft was slick with his own pre-cum and Tasuki gasped at the incredible pace Chichiri had set.  God, it felt like nothing he's ever experienced.  He never wanted this to end, never…

"Why?"  Tasuki frowned at the question.  He wished the man would shut the hell up and fuck him already.  Wha---?

Tasuki froze.  Did he just think what he'd just thought?  He opened hazy eyes to look right into the clear and focused brown eye of Chichiri.

"Why do you want me?" 

Tasuki blinked several times and blood rushed to his face as he realized what they were doing.  He was practically begging a frigging man to fuck him!  How messed up was that?

He pushed Chichiri away from him abruptly and tucked himself away.  What the hell was he thinking?  He moved away from the man, shaking his head confusedly.  

Chichiri leaned against the wall, casually observing him as he backed away towards the door.  The man made no move to stop the redhead; he was just watching the younger man dispassionately.  No one would have guessed that he was about to fuck the redhead senseless just a few seconds ago.

"I don't want you."  Tasuki lied unsteadily.  Gods but did want Chichiri, and he wanted him very badly.

Chichiri snorted mockingly and pushed himself off the wall.  "Should I call your bluff?"  He asked softly.

"NO!"  Tasuki was backed up against the door and he fumbled behind him for the knob.  "Leave me the fuck alone!"  Tasuki was sure he wouldn't be able to resist the man if he'd come any closer.  What the hell was wrong with him?  This was a fucking MAN!

Tasuki opened the door and slipped out without another word.  The door swung shut with a resounding thud.

Tasuki stood staring at the closed door, his heart thumping wildly.  What just happened?  He shook his head to clear it of the haunting image of Chichiri and he glanced one last time at the door before he walked down the corridor.

On the other side of the door, Chichiri slumped in resignation against the wall as a single tear fell from his eye.  In the privacy of his lonely domain, Chichiri allowed himself an anguished wail…

TBC…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*

Wahhhh!!!!!  Poor Chichiri!  What do you think?  There's more things that happened in the 'home' but that will come out later…

Did you like it?  Huh?  Huh? 

A note on Yuki and Shu-chan…They are weird like that, at least from what I saw in the anime…one minute grumpy, the next Yuki's eating Shu-chan's face…*sigh*  But so damn cute!!!

LOL, sorry about the K and Nuriko thing…I'll make it better.  Promise!

Feed back, na no daaaaa!!!!


	5. The Confusion

**_Author's notes and warnings:_**  You are all so kind!  Arigatou, na no da!!!!  I am so very sorry this chapter took so long but all these restrictions are cramping my creative style, ne?

Holy cow…I have now 4 couples flouncing around in my fic.  Chi/Tas is, of course, my priority and gets the most 'screen time'.  I'm trying to get Hotohori and Nuriko together as best I could, unfortunately I haven't devoted much time to them…but they will get together!  Ryuuichi and Tohma are a challenge.  (So sorry Hitari…)  I'm going to write a bittersweet past for them to reconcile…    Yuki and Shuuichi… @.@  What could I possibly say about this couple?  If your exposure to Gravitation is limited to this fic, I totally understand your confusion…  When I first saw the anime, I wanted to beat the crap out of Yuki!  He was so damn mean.  Then I got used to it and it became so f---ing sexy!  Heh, heh..  They will pop up here and there, just to further confuse you!  ~.~   

Hugs and more hugs to my fantastic reviewers:

**Kawaii:** You saw Gravitation? Did you like it?  Was I right?  Is Ryuuichi-sama the hottest bishie to ever walk the earth or what? (Besides Chichiri-sama, of course)

**Sakata Ri Houjun:** Arigatou!  Yes we do like to torture the boys…but I'm sure they enjoy it too, ne?  We give plenty of incentives in the form of delicious lemons…

**Midori Himura:** *snickers* Himura was Chichiri's reincarnated last name in Once Upon a Dream…I liked it because of Kenshin… and Chi/Ryu had me grinning idiotically too! *wipes drool*  Thank you!!!

**Xellas:** Heh, heh, heh. *twitches* That's what I said about your Chiri when I read 'The Fox and The Wolf'.  Hot!!!  Expect more totally dominating Chichiri…especially in a steamy lemon!

**Anime Angel:** I'm glad that you're getting interested in Gravitation…It's totally cool!  Check it out!  Even if FF.net is banning NC-17 stories, I'm planning to keep posting and when the contents gets too…um…hot, I was going to e-mailing the lemony parts to interested parties.  What do you think?  Thanks for the review!

**Chisama:** *LOL*  Yes, Tasuki needs to give it up, ne?  He will, trust me on this!  I'm an avid Chichiri/Tasuki fan, I may let them roam but they will always be together in the end…  Thank you!

**TigerBlak:** Sumen, ne?  But I got the next chapter out as soon as I could!  Arigatou for your continual support!

**Uftaki:** And here's the chapter!  I really hope you'll like it!  

**Shadow Priestess:** *LOL* Never ask a lady her age… but thank you for the sweet compliment. *blushes*  I'll make Chichiri all better, I promise.

**Hitari:** Aiya! *ROFL* I love that expression. I'm using it all the time now and nobody knows what the heck I'm talking about!  On LOTR, you're right, it's Nov. (darn it!) Now it's a month longer than I had thought!  I sorry about the Ryu/Toh thing… I couldn't make him evil… Quat would kill me!  I must redeem him!  And to answer your first question, YES I would e-mail the story to you.  I think I will have to anyways since I'm not suppose to write graphic lemons under 'R' rating… and believe me, for what I have in mind, it's graphic!

**Nuriko:** Hey! I planted an Australian Willow in front of my home and named him Nuriko…  Thanks for the review!

**Lady Pyrrha:** *snickers* Yes, Tasuki will definitely come to his senses and go to Chichiri, I don't know when yet… Then he'll make Chichiri all better! ~.~

**Songs Of The Heart** – Chapter 5: The Confusion

By Moonraven

"You had no right!"  Chichiri's controlled voice said softy.

Even though Ryuuichi was not sorry in the least, the legendary rock star managed to look contrite as he allowed his head to hang dejectedly.  He whimpered when appropriate and fidgeted with Kumagorou when called for, but underneath all that, Ryuuichi Sakuma calmly plotted his next Chichiri/Tasuki moment.

"Ryuuichi."  Chichiri gripped the older man's shoulder and force Ryuuichi to look at him.  "I know you, Ryu-chan.  I could hear the wheels turning in your head!"  He was now nose to nose with his scheming lover.  "What are you planning now, Ryuuichi?"

Ryuuichi blinked innocently at his lover.  "Anou, nothing, na no da.  I'm really sorry, Chichiri."

Chichiri narrowed his eyes as he peered into those bottomless blue eyes.  "Why don't I believe you?"  He asked, sighing in resignation as he slipped his arms around the older man.

Ryuuichi relaxed into the embrace and wound his arms around Chichiri's neck.  He leaned over and kissed the younger man's lips gently.  "Because you know me too well?"  The sexy rock star suggested softly.  He would miss Chichiri when the younger man finally surrender to his destiny and pursue Tasuki in earnest.  But that would take time yet; Chichiri wasn't ready to come out of his shell, he wasn't ready to risk pain even for the chance of healing.

Chichiri gave Ryuuichi a long look and pulled the other man closer.  "I don't want him."  He said simply.

Ryuuichi rested his head on Chichiri's shoulder and sighed.  "Liar."  He could feel the steady beating of Chichiri heart and rubbed his hand absently over the hard chest.  "Do you remember what you said after we've made love the first time?"  Ryuuichi asked quietly.

Chichiri frowned as he tried to recall something he had said over three years ago, after a moment of passion no less.  "Er… It was…great?"  He ventured.

Ryuuichi laughed and kissed him warmly.  He looked into that usually guarded eye and smiled.  "You don't remember, do you?"  Chichiri shook his head mutely.  "You said, 'You're not him.'"  Ryuuichi told the quiet songwriter.  "You looked so lost then, it nearly broke my heart."  He reached up and gently caressed the scar across Chichiri's eye.  

"Oh.  That."  Chichiri blinked and shook his head.  "I told you to forget about that.  It was just a stupid dream that I used to have.  I don't have them anymore."  Chichiri's lips captured Ryuuichi's firmly, compelling the older man to respond.  The kiss was rough and demanding, meant to divert the rock star from his present train of thoughts.  Ryuuichi knew this tactics well; Chichiri had been using it unfailingly ever since they had become lovers.  This time he was determined not to let the younger man get a way with it.

Ryuuichi pulled away gently and gave Chichiri a hard look.  "Maybe."  Ryuuichi said softly.  "But that doesn't change anything.  Deep in your soul, you are waiting for someone, Chichiri, and I think it's Tasuki."

Chichiri frowned and shook his head.  "Where do you get your crazy ideas?  Tasuki is an obnoxious punk who's loud, brash, has no manner, inconsiderate, and did I mention loud---"

"And sexy as hell."  Ryuuichi added playfully.  He watched as Chichiri' frown deepened and sighed.  "Don't think I hadn't noticed, Chichiri.  I think the boy feels something too; he's drawn to you.  Why are you fighting this so hard?"

Chichiri regarded him somberly before asking softly, "Why are you fighting your feelings for Tohma?"

It was Ryuuichi's turn to frown.  "We are not talking about me, we're talking about you."  He squirmed out of Chichiri's arms and walked to the desk at the corner of the room.  He picked up Kumagorou and hugged it to his chest tightly.  At the sound of Tohma's name his emotions swirled in confusion and pain and he needed his anchor to continue.

Chichiri came up behind him and wrapped strong arms around the older man.  "I'm sorry.  Just like you're not ready to face whatever demons to be faced with Tohma, I'm not ready to face the feelings that this…child is waking in me.  He's stirring something primal that's better left dormant."  He hugged the older man tightly.  "I can't lose whatever control I had gained…I just can't…"  

Chichiri buried his face in the back of Ryuuichi's neck and the older man sighed sadly.  Ryuuichi had thought as much.  Chichiri's wall of icy control was wavering the minute he'd met Tasuki.  Ryuuichi had felt it the moment he saw them together.  It was as if the heat in Tasuki's life force was melting away the carefully constructed shield that Chichiri had placed around himself, the shield that he had hoped would protect everyone from the demon Chichiri had thought himself to be.  The demon only Chichiri could see…

Ryuuichi tuned around and hugged the younger man tenderly.  "Alright, Chichiri.  I'll let you handle this at your own pace but I'm watching.  If you let this one get away, I'm afraid you'll never heal, na no da."

Chichiri gave him a small smile.  "Just like I'm keeping an eye on you and Tohma, na no da.  If you don't do something soon, I'll be forced to go to him, no da."

Ryuuichi narrowed his eyes at the man threatening him.  "And do what?  Glare him into dumping Mika-san?"

"He doesn't love her.  He loves you."

Ryuuichi's lips quivered as more turbulent emotions used his body as a battlefield.  "He loves Eiri."  He whispered unsteadily.

Chichiri frowned and shook him gently.  "I don't understand how you could be so damn insightful when it comes to other people but so dense when it comes to your own love life.  He loves YOU.  Eiri was a passing fancy.  The guilt is slowly killing him, Ryu.  When will you forgive him?"

Ryuuichi looked up at his lover and caressed the angry scar over Chichiri's left eye gently.  "When will you forgive yourself?"  He asked softly.  He rested he head on Chichiri's shoulder and sighed.  "I wish I was in love with you.  I wanted so much to love you but we're too much alike.  We're both hiding from the world, hiding from the pain…"

"That's why we're perfect for each other."  Chichiri said softly into Ryuuichi's hair. 

Ryuuichi shook his head against Chichiri's neck.  "There can be no life without pain…it's all part of living.  We are not truly living if we are still hiding."  Ryuuichi scoffed at himself for being the hypocrite that he was.  It was all fine and good to tell that to Chichiri but could he follow his own advice?  Did he dare risk the pain again?

"Then I don't need to live."  Came the eerily quiet voice of Chichiri.  Ryuuichi shivered violently at the tone despite the warmth of his lover's arms.  He was afraid that Chichiri had more in mind behind that statement than he was letting on.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Shit, shit, shit, shit…" No other words came to mind as Tasuki rounded the corridor that would take him far away form Chichiri and the emotional roller coaster he was going through.  No, the emotional roller coaster that ASSHOLE was putting him through.  What the fuck happened?  When was he EVER attracted to men? And what the hell was he feeling?  Even with the women he'd been with, Tasuki had never felt this…this intense longing, this aching lump that grew and threatened to burst from his chest at the mere thought of Chichiri.  Nor could he fathom the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach when the man was not around.

"What the hell do I do now?"  He mumbled to himself, more confused now than angry.

"Gee, Tasuki-chan.  What the hell DID you do?"  Nuriko's voice jolted him back to reality and he looked into the warm hazel eyes, perplexed.

Nuriko frowned at the expression on his friend's face; he had never seen that lost look before.  "Anou, Tasuki…are you alright?"  He peered into his friend's eyes as he touched Tasuki gently on his shoulder.  

"Nuri…"  Tasuki started but didn't know how to finish.  He knew that Nuriko was probably the best person to talk to about what he's feeling but dared he?  All of their lives Nuriko had been the 'gay braided baka' and Tasuki, the 'straight loud mouth'.  How did he feel about being the 'gay loud mouth'?  WAS he gay?

Nuriko was looking at him funny; he must look a damn sight.  "Nuri, can we talk somewhere?"  He asked thickly.  He certainly didn't want to discuss his insecurities about his sexuality here, in the damn hallway.

"Sure."  Nuriko said readily, pulling the redhead a couple of doors down.  The video room was empty and his braided friend closed the door after them as Tasuki slumped listlessly onto the sofa.  Nuriko came to sit next to Tasuki, taking the redhead's hand gently into his own strong ones.  "Tell me."  He urged.

Tasuki closed his eyes, trying to come up with words that wouldn't sound so lame.  "I love women!" He blurted out suddenly.  He winced inwardly at the defensive tone that small sentence had taken.

Nuriko's eyebrows rose in surprised.  "Yeah, Tas-cha, I know.  I think half of Tokyo knows that and the women love you right back.  So…what's the problem?"  He squeezed the redhead's hand gently, encouragingly.

"I…um…well…you see…"  Shit!  Nuriko was looking more confused that HE was.  Get it over with you idiot, he scolded himself.  If anyone could understand, surely it was Nuriko?  He took a deep breath and look at his friend with determination.  "How did you know you were gay?"

Nuriko blinked then blinked again.  "Did you just ask me how I knew I was gay?" 

Tasuki swallowed and nodded.

"O-kay…"  Nuriko removed his hands from Tasuki's and folded them neatly in his lap.  This was much more serious that he'd thought.  Tasuki and he had talked about this before, of course.  They didn't get to be the best of friends for the past…well, for ever since he could remember if they hadn't shared such intimate talks.  But for Tasuki to ask again and in this state, something must really be eating at him.

"You remember the first day Hotohori moved to our school?"  Tasuki nodded, recalling the neatly dressed, well-behaved boy standing alone in the yard. All the other kids were playing but this boy just stood there looking at them with sadness in his eyes.  He remembered Nuriko picking up their soccer ball and running to the new kid, Hotohori.  The energetic six-year-old thrust the ball at Hotohori and literally dragged the stunned boy with him as he bounced back to Tasuki and their group of friends.  From that day onward, Hotohori had always been with them.

"But how did you know you were gay?  You were, what, six years old?"  Tasuki said rather impatiently. Not only that, Nuriko had also taken Tasuki under HIS wings, what did THAT have to do with being gay? 

Nuriko sighed and rolled his eyes.  "Let me finish, will you, Tas-chan?"  Nuriko looked down at his hand and smiled a wistful little smile.  "I knew the second I set eyes on him that I would never love anyone else.  I didn't know anything about sex or who should or shouldn't love whom, all I knew was that this little boy was going to be my whole world."  Nuriko looked over at Tasuki, his hazel eyes soft with memories.  "I used to wonder why I was never interested in girls, especially when both you and Hotohori were beginning to.  I tried to like them but all I could think about was Hotohori."  Nuriko grimaced as he remembered a particularly unpleasant incident, hands clenching tight in his lap.  "And when he kissed that bitch, Suzuko, I just wanted to bash her head in, I was so damn angry!  I used to think that I was mad at Hotohori because he'd found a new friend but then I realized that it was more than that."  Nuriko's voice had dropped to a mere whisper as he lowered his head.  "I had wanted to BE Suzuko.  I had wanted Hotohori to kiss me." 

"That was the time you started to wear your hair long."  Tasuki said softly.  "We were about twelve at that time…and you've never hid the fact that you were gay.  You were never afraid." 

Nuriko snickered and held up his fists.  "I could beat up half the school, ya think someone was gonna mess with me?"

Tasuki smiled at the memories.  "No, but you'd always let Hotohori come to your rescue when someone teased you, you big fake!"  But Tasuki also knew that Hotohori had enjoyed being the knight in shining armors for his braided friend.  That's why Tasuki couldn't understand Nuriko's hesitation in telling their handsome tall friend how he really felt.  

Nuriko smiled at the accusation and shrugged.  "Hey a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do."  He turned to his friend abruptly.  "What's going on, Tasuki?  Is it Chichiri?"

Tasuki looked at his friend sharply, shock shown clearly in his amber eyes.  Was he that transparent?  Was his emotional turmoil that obvious?  His mouth opened and closed soundlessly.  Yep, can we say fish out of water?

"Give me some credit!"  Nuriko protested at Tasuki's astonishment.  "I DO know you very well, Tas-chan.  You've been acting strangely especially when he's around and now you're questioning me about being gay?  Again?"  He took Tasuki's hands in his own again and scooted to face the other young man.  "Tell me."  He urged gently. "You know I love you and I would never do or say anything to betray you" 

Tasuki sighed.  He knew that.  Nuriko would rather die than hurt his friends.

"I…I don't know how I feel…"  He hesitated.  "I've never felt anything like this before.  I hated him and I…wanted him at the same time."  He lowered his head as he felt blood rushing to his face.

Nuriko saw Tasuki's embarrassment and wanted to ease his friend's pain.  "I totally know the latter part, Tas-chan.  He's, like, totally hot!  Such great ass!"  Tasuki groaned and covered his face.  "What?  You don't think he has great ass?"  Nuriko nudged his friend.

Tasuki looked up and moved closer to Nuriko.  "Kiss me."  

"Eh?"  Nuriko leaned back a few inches, eyes wide, mouth opened in confusion.  "What…?"

Tasuki leaned in after his friend.  "I need to know."  He said desperately.  "I need to know that it's not just him…or that it is him…I…"  Tasuki paused to search for word but they failed him yet again.  "I've never kissed a man before…just him.  I want to see…feel the difference.  You're my best friend, you ain't gonna take it wrong, Nuri. Please."

Nuriko's interest perked and he raised himself closer to his friend.  "You kissed him?"  His hazel eyes wide with curiosity and disbelieve.  He looked at Tasuki's lips for signs of freezer burn but found none.  "Hontou ni?"  

Tasuki snorted and moved back to his side of the sofa.  "It' was more like him kissing me. I was just standing there."  He colored thinking about other things Chichiri did and how he had responded to those expert hands…

"HE kissed YOU?  And you let him?  That's so great!"  Nuriko squealed, clapping joyfully.

"What's so fucking great about that?"  Tasuki growled and Nuriko subsided. 

"How did you feel, you know, when he was kissing you?"  Nuriko asked gently but Tasuki remained silent, the only thing that changed was the color of his cheeks; they were much more flushed.  "Tasuki, you either liked it or you didn't.  And judging by your confusion, I'm guessing that you liked it, quite a bit, am I right?"  A mute nod from the redhead was his only answer.  "Did you kiss him back?"  This time Tasuki's face was two shades brighter than it was and he nodded again, reluctantly.  "Was there MORE than just kissing?" 

"AGH!"  Tasuki cried out and buried his face in his hands.  He did NOT want to go there.

Nuriko stared at the bowed head in surprised.  There WAS more!  Oh, my poor Tasuki, Nuriko thought as he draped an arm over his friend's shoulder.  "A lot of people are bisexual, Tasuki.  I wouldn't worry about it.  You just haven't found someone to ignite that hentai little flame until now."  Nuriko pried Tasuki's hands away from his face.  "Were you disgusted at all?  Did it feel wrong in the least?"

Tasuki searched his feelings and found that all he felt was elation and his blood sang to be touched by that man again.  He shook his head in answer to the questions.  How could he be disgusted when he had wanted it to never end?

"Then I suggest you explore it."  Declared, Nuriko the sage. 

"I don't know…"  Tasuki was still not sure.  This was all so new to him.

"Look, if it was a girl you wanted, what would you do?"

"He's not a fucking girl, Nuri."  He glared daggers at his friend.

"That's your problem, Tasuki."  Nuriko frowned at him. "Remember what I told you about my feelings for Hotohori when I was six?  I didn't know there was a rule somewhere that said I had to love a girl.  I feel what I feel and you feel what you feel.  Don't follow imaginary rules someone else's made if it's not what you are…who you are.  Follow your instincts, Tasuki, your feelings."  He tapped gently at the redhead's chest.  "Follow your heart."

Tasuki stared at the misty eye Nuriko in awe; he didn't sound like such a baka after all.  "So when are you going to follow your heart and tell him?"

Nuriko bit his lips.  _Big mouth_, he scolded himself.  _How's he going to follow your advice if you yourself won't?_  Nuriko took a deep breath and smiled at Tasuki.  "Let's make a deal.  If you tell Chichiri, I'll tell Hotohori.  Ne?"

"Wait a second."  Tasuki held up his hands in protest.  "You've been in love with him forever, I don't even know how I feel."

"The more reason for you to explore!"  Nuriko said quickly. "I already know how I feel, I just have to tell him.  You have a much longer road ahead of you to test, I suggest you hurry."  He got up from the sofa and pulled Tasuki up with him.  He then hugged Tasuki tightly.  "I will always be here for you, Tasuki.  No matter what."

Tasuki hugged the smaller figured back, thankful that he had such a good friend in Nuriko. 

The sound of the door opening had both of them turning towards the intruder.  Nuriko gasped and froze.  "Hotohori-sama…"

"I'm sorry…am I…interrupting?"  Hotohori's handsome face was blank and expressionless, which was the very thing that gave away his pain.  Tasuki pulled away from Nuriko and smiled innocently at his manager and friend.

"Nah."  He said as he walked towards the door.  "Nuri was just helping me find myself.  I didn't know I have such great friends in you and Nuri, Tori."  He clasped the older man's shoulders and gave him a squeeze.  "Thanks man."  He turned and nodded to Nuriko meaningfully before he left them alone in the room.

Now to find that cold bastard and see if he can't melt the ice cube Chichiri had for a heart…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"What do you mean, you can't find it?"  Tohma hisses at K as he peered at the pacing Ryuuichi behind the taller blond.  Ryu-chan was tearing at his hair, crying and babbling incoherently.  Shuuichi was trying desperately to calm the hysterical rock star to no avail…Kumagorou was missing.

"Have you tried Chichiri's room."  He asked and felt the familiar pang in his chest at the thought of Ryuuichi and Chichiri.

"We did."  K said in his deep calm voice.  "He's out and his room is locked.  And you know better than to go into Chichiri's room when he's not there."

"But Ryu-chan has the spare keys.  He goes in there without Chichiri all the time."  Tohma frowned, none of this made sense.

"The keys are on Kuma."

Ah! NOW it made sense.  

"Toh…MAAAAAA" Ryuuichi wailed and glomped onto the stunned blond.  "Kuma's been kidnapped!  We must save him!"  The tall singer held on tightly to his friend and former lover as he felt his world crashing around him.  "I need Kuma, no da!"

"Mou, Ryu-chan, we'll find him, don't worry."  He rubbed Ryuuichi's back soothingly.  The ache in his chest grew at Ryuuichi's nearness.  Ever since the incident at the airport where Ryuuichi had hugged him, Tohma had been avoiding any kind of physical contact. The younger man's touch was both sweet and painful, Tohma wasn't sure he could keep his promise to be just friends if Ryuuichi was so near… His whole being was remembering all the exquisite pleasures they had shared before he had stupidly thrown it all away.  Before he had turned his strong lover into…

"I have Chichiri on the phone."  K said quietly as he handed the phone to Tohma.  Ryuuichi was in no condition to talk to his lover so Tohma took the phone.

"Chichiri-san."  Tohma said with some relieve.  Ryuuichi minus Kuma was not something he wanted to deal with.

_"I won't be back for a couple of hours yet, Tohma, so you're going to have to go get Kuma for him."_  Chichiri wasted no time on the greeting.

"The doors are locked Chichiri and I don't think you'll approve of K's solution…" He said as he eye K and the magnum nervously.

_"Tell K that I will kill him if he so much as scratch my door."_  The steel in Chichiri's voice was hard to miss and Tohma quickly relay the message.

K snorted as he put the gun away.  "Then how does he propose we open his door?  Did he forget that he made us destroy all the other copies?"

_"The door's unlocked."_  Chichiri's remote voice said and Tohma frowned.

"They checked, it was locked Chichiri."  Tohma looked over to K and Shuuichi and they nodded confirmation.  He shifted uncomfortably as Ryuuichi snuggled even closer to him and was practically climbing into his shirt.

_"It's…probably stuck, but YOU need to go and get it and YOU need to be the one that give it to him."_  Chichiri's voice was deadly serious_.  "Do you understand, Tohma?"_

Tohma understood.  "Hai."  He whispered into the phone.  Trust.  It was all about earning Ryuuichi's trust again.  Kuma had become Ryuuichi's lifeline and Tohma could find his way back into the younger man's heart again through Kuma…  "Why…?"  Why was Chichiri doing this?

"Because you love him.  If you don't, I wouldn't trust him with you."  There was an audible click that told Tohma the other man had hung up.   _Because you love him…_

"Ryu-chan."  He whispered softly as he unconsciously brushed his lips against the soft strands of dark hair.  He closed his eyes as memories flooded his mind…memories of soft skin underneath his lips, memories of insistent whimpers and urgent cries…

"Ryu-chan."  He tried again and gently pushed the sobbing man away.  "Stay with Shu-chan and K, alright?  I'll bring Kuma back to you."  He gazed into the tear filled blue eyes and gently kissed them away.  "I promise to return with Kuma, stay here."  He steered the wide-eyed Ryuuichi into K's arms and left.  
  


Shuuichi and K looked at the closed door then at each other in shock.  Did Tohma just kissed Ryuuichi?   

Apparently Ryuuichi was thinking the same thing; the sobbing stopped and the stupefied rock legend stared open-mouth at the closed door.  No one spoke and the silence filled the air until the jiggling of the doorknob signaled the returned of Tohma.

Tohma held Kumagorou gently in one hand as he closed the door.  He held up his prize and smiled gently at Ryuuichi, but before he could say anything, he was painfully knocked back against the door and a very grateful bundle of Ryuuchi Sakuma was all over him.  Kuma was no longer in his grip but that didn't matter for he found that his hands were quite filled with Ryuuichi.  The rock star had buried his face in Tohma's neck and whispered strings of 'thank you's into the blonde's shoulder.  Ryuuichi's soft lips brushed repeatedly against the sensitive skin close to Tohma's collarbone and his hard lean body pressed urgently into Tohma's.

"Ryu-chan."  Tohma whispered as he returned the pressure.  He vaguely recalled hearing the side door open and close as K dragged the gaping Shuuichi out.

"Tohma…Tohma..."   Ryuuichi flicked his tongue out to taste the all too familiar taste of his former lover.  He sighed contentedly as his sanity slowly returned with Kumagorou.  "I missed you…" He whispered as he licked along Tohma's jaw line, bringing himself nose to nose with the flushed blond.  

"Ryu-chan."  Tohma gazed into the endless pools of blue fire and surrendered to the aching needs of his body.  He reached behind the back of Ryuuichi's neck and pulled the younger man in, his lips parted before they even made contact.  Ryuuchi whimpered softly as Tohma slipped his tongue between those soft full lips and caressed the insides of Ryuuichi's mouth.  Gods, he tasted the same, so sweet.  Tohma had never forgotten the intoxicating taste of the beautiful singer in his clutch.  Never in a million years could he forget what they had shared, what he had done…

The thought of his betrayal froze Tohma in his track.  Could Ryuuichi ever forgive him?

Ryuuchi noticed the change in Tohma and sighed as he pulled away.  He knew what he must do but was he ready to open himself to this man again?  He looked at the returned Kuma and tugged it securely into the front of his shirt.  "Arigatou, no da, Tohma."  He said softly.  "I will never forget this."  He leaned over and brushed his lips against the blonde's briefly, his eyes never leaving the green pools.  He pushed away from Tohma and walked towards the side door.  He opened the door and before he stepped through it, he turned and smiled brightly at Tohma.  "Kuma has forgiven you, no da, and so have I."  With a small wave, he slipped out and closed the door softly behind him.  

He only wish he was right in following his own heart…  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Author's notes:

Whew!  That was an interesting chapter to write!  I know there was no interactions between Tas and Chi but I think this is an important 'filler' chapter.  Next chapter will have Tasuki following Chichiri around and get caught!!!  OOOH, what punishment!  

Please let me know what you think and there will be lime/almost lemon in the next chapter!!!

Feed back, na no da!!!!!


	6. The Surrender

**Moonraven's notes of gratitude:**  Thank you Hitari-chan for beta reading for me!  You're a gem!  Great big hug, okay?  To Xellas, thanks for being a great friend, your constant e-mails and friendship had gotten me out of a depressing rut, allowing me to write again!  Goddess blessings!

Hugs for my reviewers as well!!!

**TigerBlak:** Hey!  What's with the crickets?  ^^; Here's your update; sorry it took so long!  Thank you for your patience!

**Sakata:** Thank you, thank you, thank you!  A small lemon in this chapter, I'm still not clear on the R vs. NC-17 thingy…  And am patiently waiting for more Eternity Knot, na no da!  Okay, not so patient… Hayaku!  Hayaku!

**Fiery-Ice:** My favorite hobby: torturing the bishounens!  Thank you for your review, they are gonna be together, never fear!

**Shadow Priestess:** Bad consequences?  Me? Never! Hehehe, you'll see…

**Keimei:** Let's not say they're together because they have no one else…but because they understand each other?  Actually, Chiri didn't leave his room open…it was locked alright… And the thing about e-mailing the story, it was just in case FF.net decides to pull my story.  If that happens then I would continue to write and post somewhere else or e-mail anyone who requests it.  Luckily, that didn't happen, ne?

**Midori:** Thank you, no da!  I had my fingers crossed a while there since there was no interaction between Tas and Chi at all.  But I'm glad you liked it!

**Hitari-chan: ** What can I say?  Arigatou again for undertaking such a horrendous task for me!  I hope it wasn't so bad?  LOL.  Never fear, I enjoy constructive criticism almost as much as nice reviews!  Almost, ne? *Grins*  And where is the adult fanfiction.net, no da?  

**Xellas:**  ((((HUGS))))  and more ((((HUGS))))  Thanks for acting as my idea sounding board and allowed me to bounce all kinds of insanity off of you!  

**Kawaii:** I know what you mean about the guys in anime…but some are so much hotter than others, ne?   Arigatou!!!

**M-chan:** I signed the petition, too!  I wonder what good it will do?  Anyways…I'm glad you came back and read the story.  Arigatou!  LOL, I did get a lot of skepticisms when I mentioned R/T pairing, but they are becoming one of my favorites…  *giggles* Why is Tohma scaring everybody??  He's so…so…Quatre…and that boy couldn't shoo a fly… Thanks for reading and the Pocky!  Yum! 

**Tricia:** Thank you for the nice review!  I hope to keep writing to everyone's expectation, na no da!

**Dark Light Angel:** Updated, no daaaaa!  Chichiri does day 'no da' and so does Ryuuichi when he's in his ultra kawaii kid mode.  Thank you for reviewing!

Ah, let's see…You'll find 2 more bishounens from another anime making an appearance…see if you know which anime they're from, okay?  I'm sure many of you know them…  I don't own them either but obviously they wanted to come and play with me and my boys, ne?  

Lime and well…close to a lemon, I think… enjoy!

Disclaimer:  don't own nothing… Bwaaaahhhh!!!

**_Songs Of The Heart - Chapter 6_**: The Surrender

By Moonraven   
  
  
  


"Hotohori-sama…" Nuriko said softly as Tasuki closed the door behind him. Why did he say that? This was Tori-chan, not a 'sama'. The honorific had felt so right yet it felt sad too, like reaching for an unattainable treasure displayed tauntingly before him.   
  


"Are you alright?" Hotohori's deep voice asked as the man himself walked slowly into the room. "You looked…almost sad." He came to a stop a foot or two from the younger man.   
  


Nuriko looked up and did his best to flash Hotohori a cheerful grin but failed miserably; his heart just wasn't in it. Nuriko found that he was nearly shaking with emotions he could hardly describe. What was this aching, empty feeling in his stomach? He lifted his shaky hands to his chest and clasped them together tightly, hoping to stop their trembling. _Hotohori-sama…   
  
_

"Nuri-chan." The taller man reached out and took Nuriko's quivering hands into his own and rubbed them gently. He guided Nuriko back to the small sofa and gently urged the younger man on it, then he seated himself next to his friend. "What's wrong?" Hotohori held both of Nuriko's hands in one of his large strong hands while the other one reached up and softly caressed a loose strand of black hair before tugging it gently behind Nuriko's ear. His hand did not move back but tenderly cupped the side of his stunned friend's face.   
  


Nuriko took long steady breaths and felt his emotions slowly stabilize. He looked into the deep brown eyes of the only person he had ever loved and shook his head in confusion. "I…I don't know. One minute I was alright and the next…the next minute I…" He paused looking for the right words to describe his feelings. "I felt like I had lost everything." He looked at Hotohori again and shrugged helplessly.   
  


Hotohori glanced involuntarily at the closed door and wondered if it had anything to do with Tasuki. A small frown graced his pretty brows; he did not like the thought that there might be something between his two friends.   
  


Nuriko saw the look and squeezed Hotohori's hand gently while he leaned into the hand that still held his cheek. "It's not Tasuki, so you don't need to beat up on him or anything." He smiled. "I'm fine now, it's probably nerves, you know how excited I get when I talk to my friends about their love lives."   
  


Hotohori smiled, relief flooded his being though he wasn't sure why. He told himself that Nuriko was just too emotional for his own good and too fragile; he needed looking after, he needed Hotohori to protect him. Another part of his mind scoffed the idea and called himself a liar. _'Great!' Hotohori chided himself, __'I'm arguing with myself and I still have no idea what this feeling is.' Hotohori wondered absently if hanging around his two irrepressible friends was good for him after all.   
  
_

"So who is Tasuki in love with now?" Hotohori reluctantly pulled his hands away from Nuriko and leaned back on the sofa. The loss of contact left him curiously empty and he longed to touch the smaller man again.   
  


"Um…well…he's not sure yet. He went to find out." _Yeah, right…good one, Nuriko.   
  
_

Hotohori frowned and blinked at his friend. "How's he going to find out?"   
  


"Well, you…there're ways to…you know…um find out." _Holy crap, Nuriko! Where the hell is your brain?   
  
_

Hotohori blinked again and sat up, fascinated. "You mean there are ways, things you can do, to find out if you're in love with someone?"   
  
Nuriko frowned at the sudden interest Hotohori was showing. "Why, Tori-chan? Are you confused about your feelings too?" He narrowed his eyes at his friend. "I wasn't aware that you were interested in anyone. Are you holding out on me?"   
  


"No, no. Not at all." Hotohori got up suddenly and walked to the window. Nuriko didn't like the way his shoulders slumped or the resignation he sensed in the taller man. "Well, okay, maybe." He didn't turn around and his voice was so low it was hard for Nuriko to hear him.   
  


Nuriko got up and walked up to his friend. "Tori-chan?" He asked tentatively. He had never seen Hotohori this resigned or this sad since that day in the playground, when they were children. He had vowed then that he would never let anything or anyone make this man unhappy. Nuriko wasn't about to let that happen now, no matter how much it would hurt him. "Is there…is there someone?" Gods, he was going to hate this.   
  


"What did you tell Tasuki to do?" Hotohori asked quietly without turning around.   
  


"Nani?"   
  


"To find out if he's in love, what did you tell him to do?" Came the quiet question.   
  


"I…well, I told him to follow his heart, to explore the feelings that the person evoked in him. I know they're basically physical things we're talking about but that's the fun part, ne? I mean, if kissing and…other things weren't turning you off, that's a start, right? Especially if they could, like, totally melt you into a super gooey puddle, I'd say that's definitely a sign. And if this person could make you catch your breath every time you see them, then you're more than half in love already…well not if you caught your breath because he's butt ugly or anything but because he's wonderful and totally gorgeous and kind and…and I'm babbling." He walked up to Hotohori and poked his head in front of his silent friend. "Na, Tori, who is it? Do I know her? Huh? Huh?"   
  
"I don't know. I mean, I do but it's not…it's not a girl." It was whispered so low Nuriko had to practically glue his ear to Hotohori to hear it.   
  


_Not a girl…? Oh shit! Two in one day?   
  
_

Nuriko had a sinking feeling that somewhere out there, he had probably caused some major offense to several religions and he would be lucky if they hadn't proclaimed him the devil incarnate. What were the chances of his two straight friends turning gay right before his eyes? Before today, he would've said 'NIL'. Now he wondered if he wasn't responsible for this whole thing after all?   
  


"Ne, Tori. Did…did you say…not a girl?"   
  
"Are you shocked?" Hotohori's deep calm voice asked. The man himself still hadn't turned to face his friend.   
  


"Not…SHOCKED exactly…" Who was he kidding? "Hell, yeah, I'm shocked! How could you keep something like this from ME? Your fucking best friend, not to mention your fucking GAY best frien---"   
  


"If I were to kiss this person, would I know?" That damnable calm voice asked as if Nuriko hadn't exploded.   
  


"Whoa, whoa, time out! You're not kissing ANYONE, Tori-chan. Sit." He grabbed the taller man by the arm and dragged him back to the sofa. "Now, tell me PLEASE, that's it's NOT Chichiri."   
  


Hotohori looked up, aghast. "NO!" He shivered as if the Arctic wind had blown into the room. "Whatever gave you THAT idea?"   
  


Nuriko sighed in relief then paled at the next thought. "NOT Tasuki, is it?" He cringed at the mental picture; this was going to be a BIG mess if it was.   
  


Hotohori looked at Nuriko as if he had grown several new heads. "NO! Where do you GET these ideas?"   
  


Nuriko shook his head dismissively. "Never mind, Tori-chan. Um…so who is it?"   
  


Hotohori turned away but remained silent.   
  


"Okay, should I name every guy we know and you just squawk with indignation when I'm wrong?" Even though Nuriko couldn't see Hotohori's face, he could tell the man was smiling. "Or I could just follow you around and see who you'd try to kiss…" he suggested lightly.   
  


"You don't have to do that." Hotohori turned in his seat and face his friend. His face was serious and a small nervous frown lightly creased his forehead. He swallowed hard before he spoke again. "I don't want to lose our friendship; you mean so much to me." The taller man reached up with one hand and gently caressed Nuriko's cheek.   
  


Nuriko blinked in confusion. "You could never lose me, Hotohori. No matter whom you choose to be by your side, I will always be here for you. Always."   
  


"Even if I choose you?"   
  


Before Nuriko could absorb the meaning of the words, Hotohori leaned in and pressed his warm lips to the younger man's. Nuriko gasped in shocked and nearly fainted when he felt Hotohori's tongue brushed his lips softly before venturing between them. Aiya! Was he dreaming again? Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod….   
  


He didn't have time to respond, his mind was still swirling somewhere up around cloud nine, before Hotohori pulled away reluctantly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have don---"   
  


"No way, buster! You don't kiss this boy and apologize." He grabbed Hotohori's collar and pulled him in for another kiss as he climbed on the man's lap. "You keep on kissing him." With that said, Nuriko wrapped his arms around Hotohori and parted his lips invitingly.   
  


Hotohori was only too eager to comply and he plundered the sweet cavern as he pressed the smaller man down on the cushions. Nuriko was right, kissing did tell him if this was love…but he wasn't about to stop to tell the braided baka that. He was going to do what Nuriko had said to do and kept on kissing his love.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  


"Where are you going?" Yuki asked as Shuuichi slipped on his shoes. The blond had come out of his office and stood holding his empty coffee cup, frowning at the youth.   
  


"Photo shoot for the contest. I told you last night, Yuki." Shuuichi paused and smiled at his lover. "But you weren't paying attention, were you, Yuki?" As he recalled it, Yuki was more interested in getting into his pants when the topic came up.   
  


"Baka! Of course I paid attention. That's not until 3 p.m., it's not even noon." Yuki frowned at the teen.   
  


"Hm, Tasuki and I are having lunch before the shoot. It's a new Okinomiyaki place right next to the studio. That's alright, isn't it?"   
  


"You're spending a lot of time with that kid."   
  


Shuuichi blinked and forgot the shoes completely. "Who? Tasuki?"   
  


"Hn." Yuki's cold glare sent shivers down Shuuichi's spine.   
  


"But…we're preparing for a concert as well as the promo for the Bad Luck Fangirl Contest, I…we're not doing anything…" What was Yuki thinking?   
  


Yuki continued to silently study him and Shuuichi's heart thumped painfully in his chest. Yuki couldn't possibly think that HE, Shuuichi Shindou was cheating on HIM! Could he?   
  


"Yuki…" He shook off the shoe he had on and walked back to where his lover stood glaring. "Yuki, what are you thinking?"   
  


"I told you what I thought." He brushed past the stunned teen and walked into the kitchen.   
  


Shuuichi followed Yuki in shocked. "Yuki…" he started but the tall blond raised his hand and shook his head.   
  


"Go." Yuki busied himself with boiling water and scooping out coffee grinds. Shuuichi choked back a cry as he left his moody lover and made a phone call. When he returned Yuki was walking back to his office with a fresh cup of coffee. The blonde's frowned deepened and he sighed in exasperation. "What are you still doing here?"   
  


"Yuki." Shuuichi's lips trembled at the cold, angered toned and his eyes filled with unshed tears. How could Yuki be so cruel after all this time? Didn't he know how much Shuuichi loved him?   
  


Yuki put the coffee mug on the table with a loud bang. He turned abruptly to face his young lover and grabbed both of the boy's upper arms. He had intended to shake the life out of the enraging teen but those expressive eyes, filled with pain and tears brought him up short. He gasped and released Shuuichi so suddenly the boy stumbled and fell back against the wall. Yuki cursed himself for the hundredth time since he had taken Shuuichi as a lover. He knew this would happen someday. Shuuichi would find out what an ass he was and the boy would turn to the next pretty face that came along. He should be glad to be rid of this nuisance, Yuki told himself. He could have his quiet life back again. No more Shuuichi, no more chaos.   
  


Shuuichi rubbed at his arms absently as he leaned on the wall for support. When Yuki had grabbed him, Shuuichi could have sworn he saw fear in those golden eyes. Was Yuki afraid that Shuuichi would leave him for Tasuki? "Yuki." He said softly, as he put all of his heart into the name.   
  


"Yuki, Yuki, Yuki. Is that all you could say?" Yuki growled halfheartedly.   
  


"No. I love you, Yuki." Shuuichi whispered. He watched as Yuki closed his eyes and took a deep breath.   
  


"Baka." Yuki said softly as he sat and started to type again. "Go. You'll be late."   
  


Shuuichi wasn't going anywhere. Yuki needed him here and he was going to be here for his lover. He went to sit in his chair next to the typing novelist and started to tell him all about the silly answers that came in for the Fangirl Contest. Yuki grunted and told him to shut up but Shuuichi ignored the blond and kept on talking. He went into great detail about one particular entry that had sent in 25 type-written pages about how marvelous K-san was. The girl, it seems, did not read the instruction and decided to write about K instead of the actual Bad Luck members. Needless to say, K was tickled pink and insisted that Francheska be the honorary winner.   
  


Yuki listened distractedly and actually found the boy's excited chatter to be comforting. When Shuuichi was not there to bother him with senseless prattles, Yuki actually missed him.   
  


"Baka." Yuki stopped typing suddenly and pulled the boy onto his lap. The blond crushed those delectable lips to his and forced them open urgently with his probing tongue. When would he have enough of this intoxicating youth? When would the addiction leave him and allow him peace again? Would the constant yearning for the boy never cease?   
  


"Yuki." Shuuichi moaned as he ground himself on his lover's hardness. Gods, he loved this man so much. Yuki got up and carried him to their bedroom. Shuuichi's lips remained locked on his lover and he was only vaguely aware when Yuki gently lowered him onto the bed. Urgent hands tore at his clothing while his hot tongue traced sensual trails down his chest. The only other thought that had drifted across his mind before his lover thrust deep into him was how glad he was to have stayed with Yuki instead of going to lunch…   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


"Crap! Did I fucking lose him again?" Tasuki looked around the street in frustration. He was sure Chichiri had gone into the 'Koneko no Sumi Ie' flower shop but when he lurked around the front, he couldn't find Chichiri anywhere. He grumbled furiously as a tall red head told him, none too gently, to either buy something or get out! How rude!   
  


"Ma, Ran, leave him alone. If he doesn't look, how's he going to find anything he wants?" A cheerful looking brunette holding a potted fern said to the scowling red head as he came out of the shop. He put the potted plant down carefully by the front door and smiled at Tasuki. "Can I help you with anything?"   
  


Tasuki smiled back and shook his head. It was hard not to respond to the bright sunny smile of the brunette. He swallowed his smile hastily as Ran, the tall scarlet haired man, gave him a ferocious glare. Damn, did they all get the glare from the same place? Maybe he should buy something after all.   
  


"Just a small bouquet would be nice." He managed as he tried not to look at Ran; between Chichiri and Yuki, he'd had enough of 'the look'.   
  


"For what occasion?" The brunette wiped his hands on the green apron he wore and looked expectantly at Tasuki.   
  


Oh shit! "Um…is there one for, like, all purpose thing?" He asked.   
  


The brunette smiled brighter and motioned with his head for Tasuki to follow him into the shop. "Sure, why don't you follow me and I'll show you some of our selections."   
  


"NO!" Tasuki nearly shouted. He couldn't risk going in the shop, what if Chichiri was still in there somewhere. He certainly didn't see the man leave.   
  


The brunette turned back startled at his tone. "Excuse me?"   
  


"If you're not going to buy anything, get out." Ran said coldly.   
  


Tasuki rolled his eyes at the red head and was about to say something scathing when an even more genki voice shouted from inside the shop. "Arigatou, Ri-san. See you next week!"   
  
Oh shit. Could that be ChichiRI-san? "Er…you're right, I should go." Tasuki muttered and dashed around the corner and hid behind the phone booth.   
  


The brunette stared after him then turned a frown on his co-worker. "Great, Ran, you scared another one away. When will you leave the assassin mode to missions only?" He crossed his arms and look at the red head in exasperation.   
  


"I thought you liked my assassin mode, Ken." He looked meaningfully at Ken and there was a playful lift at the corner of his lips.   
  


"Not with the customers, Ran." Ken said softly and winked at the red head before he turned his attention to the figure leaving the shop. "Bye, Ri-san. See you next time."   
  


Chichiri smiled warmly at the brunette and nodded to Ran as he left the 'Koneko'. The delicate looking white bouquet looked out of place on the unyielding songwriter dressed in black and Tasuki couldn't help the uneven beating of his heart as he watched the man. Where the hell was he going with the flower?   
  


All morning Tasuki had followed the man and he had found that Chichiri was more of a puzzle now than he was yesterday. First the man went to a home for troubled and abused children, then he had gone to an orphanage run by a private organization and now, the flower shop.   
  


And there was that strange phone call. Chichiri had looked so serious when he was talking. There was a moment when Tasuki saw Chichiri close his eye in concentration and then something like a red glow surrounded the man. It lasted only a few seconds and Tasuki wondered if he had imagined it all. His brilliant idea of following the man was supposed to help him understand Chichiri better, but he was filled with more questions now than before. Tasuki sighed almost piteously as he continued to shadow the black figure. NOW where was he going?   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ (We'll be back, don't worry)   
  


He should have known. The roof was one of their favorite places when they were lovers. Ryuuichi had said that it had made him feel like he was on top of the world; it had also made sex on the roof quite explosive. The sexy singer was now leaning dangerously close over the edge as he peered over the short wall around the roof. Blood rushed to Tohma's groin as he recalled thrusting into his lover so long ago, as Ryuuichi leaned against that wall, similarly to what he was doing now.   
  


Tohma swallowed his lust and cleared his throat. Ryuuichi turned around, a soft smile on his face and he cocked his head slightly, inviting Tohma to come stand by him.   
  


_"Kuma has forgiven you, no da, and so have I."   
  
_

Could it be? Could Ryuuichi really have forgiven him? Tohma didn't deserve it; he was a cold bastard who had tossed his lover aside for a mere kid who didn't even give him the time of day. What could he have been thinking?   
  


"I had forgotten how beautiful it was up here." Ryuuichi's melodic voice brought Tohma back to the captivating man beside him. "Have you been up here since…?" His beautiful voice stopped abruptly and he shook his head ruefully. "It's okay. Let's not go there."   
  


"NO!" Tohma was surprised at the desperation in his own voice but he knew that they couldn't hide anymore. How could they move on if they couldn't face the past? "We have to go there, Ryu. We have to talk about this. You've never said a word to me about…what happened, not a single word." Tohma swallowed the aching lump in his throat and continued. "Yell at me. Hit me. Please, Ryu, anything."   
  


Ryuuichi turned and smiled sadly at him. "I can't; I love you. I always have. If Mika or Eiri or anyone else could make you happy, I would never, ever make you feel bad for wanting that. You're everything, Tohma."   
  


"Ryu-chan." Tohma said softly, choking on his emotions. He had waited for this moment so long that he had almost given up all hope. "I…don't know what to do…" He really didn't. He loved this man so, much his whole body ached just thinking about him, but surely he did not deserve a second chance?   
  


Ryuuichi smiled gently. "What do you want to do?" He reached up and playfully removed the hat on Tohma's head and put it on his own.   
  


Tohma marveled at the serenity in the man's expression. Ryuuichi was totally at peace with what they were doing. Tohma smiled at the rock star and snatched his hat back. "I look better in that."   
  


"You're right." Ryuuichi said and turned to face him, leaning one elbow on the top of the wall. "That's why I gave it to you."   
  


Tohma frowned and took his favorite hat down and stared at it. Ryuuichi was right. This was his birthday present from the singer when they were still lovers. He went everywhere with this hat and he now knew why…it was because of Ryuuichi. It was the last thing that Ryuuichi had given him… He clutched it to his chest as he looked up at Ryuuichi.   
  


"Ryu." Tohma swallowed the lump in his throat. "I…" _I don't know what to say either.   
  
_

Ryuuichi decided to take pity on him and leaned in very slowly. His bright blue eyes gazed steadily into the sparkling green ones of Tohma's as he closed the gap and kissed the blond softly. He pulled back and smiled at the speechless blond. "I really missed you." He told Tohma.   
  


"I missed you more." Tohma said unsteadily. This was something they used to say to each other when they had to spend time apart. Saying it again brought tears to Tohma's eyes. "I love you so much." Tohma choked as he threw his arms around Ryuuichi's neck and pulled the man into a heartbreakingly sweet embrace. If he could absorb the man into his very body, he would. He wanted to be that close to Ryuuichi. "I'm so sorry, Ryu-chan; so very sorry. I don't deserve your forgiveness; I was horrible. Oh, gods, how I missed you! Oh, gods! I was so stupid!" Six years! It had been six long, torturous years and he had deserved every single heart wrenching moment of it.   
  


Ryuuichi held the trembling man close and buried his face in the soft blond hair. It had been so long since he had held Tohma; it felt so good, he knew he had made the right decision. Whatever may come when Mika found out, they would face it together. Chichiri was right; Tohma still loved him.   
  


Ryuuichi rubbed the blonde's back soothingly. "It's okay, no da, Tohma. Shh…it's okay, na no da." His voice had fallen into the childlike pitch and Tohma involuntarily stiffened.   
  


The blond producer pulled away reluctantly but remained in the circle of Ryuuichi's arms. His face was wet with tears and Ryuuichi kissed them away gently, not unlike what Tohma had done earlier when he thought he had lost Kumagorou.   
  


Tohma looked at the pink bunny head that stuck out from the top of Ryuuichi's shirt and looked back up at the face of his former lover. "Kuma..." He whispered.   
  


"I-it's going to take me a while Tohma, but now I still need him." Ryuuichi said in a low voice. How could he cut off the only thing that had kept him sane for the last 6 years?   
  


"No. I didn't mean that…it's just that…I did that. I'm so sorry." Tohma lowered his head, unable to meet the steady blue gaze of Ryuuichi.   
  


Ryuuichi put a hand under Tohma's chin and tipped the blond head back. He pressed another warm kiss to the quivering lips and shook his head gently. "No, Tohma. I did it. Kuma was my choice, no da. We all make choices, be they good or bad. We live with them and we make new ones when opportunity rises. I'm making a new choice, na no da." He said as he leaned in and pressed his lips firmly to Tohma. "How do you like my new choice?" He murmured against the parting lips.   
  


"I love it." Tohma replied before he slipped his tongue into the sweetness that was Ryuuichi. Their lips brushed against each other heatedly as their tongue caressed one another fervently. This was heaven, Tohma thought. This was what he had longed for all his life. Ryuuichi Sakuma was his again.   
  


But did he deserve it? How many more people must he hurt so he could be happy? Mika-san? What would Mika say? Chichiri? No, Chichiri knew, he practically gave his blessings…what was wrong with THAT picture.   
  


Ryuuchi sighed as he pulled away. "NOW what?" He could always tell when Tohma was preoccupied with something, Tohma had to smile at the lovably cognitive man.   
  


"What about Chichiri? Are you sure this is what you want Ryu-chan? You two are so close." Tohma bit his lips; he knew what was coming.   
  


"Yes we are. But we're not in love. Chichiri has another destiny he's…pursuing. At least I hope he will." Ryuuichi grimaced thinking about his stubborn friend. "What about you?" He looked meaningfully at Tohma. He wasn't sure what he would do if Tohma decided that he couldn't leave Mika and that this whole fantasy of Ryuuichi's just wasn't going to work. Ryuuichi's heart would break once more and this time, he would not be able to piece his life together again. This time, there would be no going on.   
  


"Mika has always known. I love her AND Eiri very much but now I know…I've known for quite some time now that it's not the same love I feel for you. I've known but I couldn't do anything about it because I didn't think you'd ever forgive me. I didn't think I deserve another chance…but I could no longer deny what I feel for you. I need you. If you'll have me, I will never let you go again. I would rather die that hurt you, Ryu. I love you."   
  


Ryuuichi caressed the pale cheek lovingly. "Anything for you, Tohma, so long as you're sure that this is what you really want." He looked away, out over the city of Tokyo. "I don't think I could survive another heartbreak, no da."   
  


Tohma tightened his arms around Ryuuichi. "NEVER. No matter what happens, I will never hurt you, EVER again."   
  


Ryuuichi smiled and allowed Tohma to pull him in for another kiss. His world would not shatter after all.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


'_A fucking cemetery? He's going in the fucking cemetery?' Tasuki groaned, as he stopped behind the Takoyaki stand in front of the cemetery. Of all the friggin' places to go, the unpredictable man had to go see the dead.   
  
_

"Maybe I could just wait right here…" Tasuki muttered as he watched the black figure disappeared between the large iron gates. Curiosity got the better of him, however, and he couldn't help wondering whom Chichiri came to see. He waited a few seconds before sneaking up to the gate and peered between the iron bars. Chichiri was nowhere in sight. Damn!   
  


Tasuki slipped between the gates and looked around desperately. This was one place he did not want to be alone in. He couldn't see Chichiri so he followed the small path that led deep between rolls of archaic looking gravestones. Tasuki shivered, this place was straight out of a B horror movie, and all that was missing were some fog and horror music.   
  


After about 15 minutes of walking and encountering no one, including the elusive Chichiri, Tasuki was ready to turn back. Then he caught faint sounds from further down the path; they were sounds of angry shouting. Tasuki's heart lurched curiously in his chest and he knew without a doubt that Chichiri was in trouble. No longer caring that Chichiri would see him, Tasuki raced down the path towards the uproar.   
  


He abruptly came to a stop when he saw the cause of the commotion. Not 50 feet from him crouched Chichiri, in front of a grave, three angry looking men stood close by; two were earnestly holding back their companion as he looked about ready to pounce Chichiri. The men looked to be in their twenties, tall and pretty pissed. The man in the middle was the tallest with dark hair falling across his brows.   
  


"Get OUT!" The man being restrained yelled at Chichiri. "How dare you show your face? Get the hell away from here!"   
  


Chichiri got slowly to his feet and silently brushed the dirt from his pants. He looked sadly one last time at the grave and Tasuki noticed that the flowers Chichiri had bought were strewed all around the area. It looked like someone was so pissed they took it out on the bouquet as well.   
  


"I didn't believe it when they told me they saw you here last week. Ten fucking years, Houjun! I've looked for you for ten fucking years!" The black haired man continued as he struggled to get free. "Now I find you by his grave. I should kill you right here but I wont! I won't defile his grave with your fucking blood but if you ever set foot here again, I WILL KILL YOU!" He gave his friends a hard push and they stumbled back cursing. "Daisuke, don't!" But it was too late, Daisuke's fist connected with Chichiri's jaw, and the smaller man stumbled backwards, falling over another grave.   
  


Tasuki had seen enough. He rushed to stand between the angry Daisuke and the fallen Chichiri.   
  


"Whoa, buddy. I don't think the dead appreciates all this angst, man. Cool it, okay?" He turned to Chichiri and asked, "You okay?"   
  


Chichiri glared at him from his position on the ground and Tasuki wondered how anyone sitting on his ass could still be so damn arrogant.   
  


"This has nothing to do with you, friend, so I suggest you leave." Daisuke said ominously to Tasuki and advanced towards Chichiri. The two men had since given up trying to stop their friend and were now following him to the fallen man.   
  


"Well, my mama would surely be spitting in her grave if she knew I let the three of you beat up on one guy." He smiled and shrugged helplessly. "So I guess I'm staying."   
  


"Leave, Tasuki." Chichiri said quietly and Tasuki noticed that he was already standing up. But the man didn't look like he intended to defend himself. His stance was one of resignation and surrender…   
  


"No." Tasuki frowned at Chichiri. "There's only three of them, we could take them out."   
  


"No." Chichiri said quietly. "Just go. Please." The last word was a mere whisper and Tasuki did a double take to make sure he'd heard it right. Chichiri said 'please'?   
  


Tasuki was shoved roughly to one side as the three men jumped Chichiri. Shit! He wasn't going to let this happen. Why was Chichiri just letting them do this? Tasuki grabbed the collar of two of the men closest to him and pulled them off Chichiri. He threw them hard against the nearby tree, knocking the breath out of them. He then gave the last man a hard kick in the back and pulled Chichiri from under the guy. While the three men scrambled to their feet, Tasuki hauled Chichiri through the maze of trees, mausoleums and gravestones. He hoped to gain enough distance and then find some place to hide. He looked back at the sullen man being dragged along and shook his head in disbelief. What the hell was going through Chichiri's mind?   
  


As they were zigzagging through the dead, Chichiri tugged on his arm. "This way." Tasuki felt himself pulled towards the other man and a strange red light filled his vision. He blinked several times to clear his sight and bumped into Chichiri. The other man turned to steady him and they both stumbled to the floor in a tangle of limbs.   
  


When Tasuki finally opened his eyes, he found that they were inside…a tomb? Shit!   
  


"Where the hell…?" He stared around in shock. "How did we get in here?"   
  


Chichiri pushed Tasuki off him and got to his feet. He went to the small window on the side of the…tomb and looked out. "Through the door." He said without turning to the red head.   
  


Tasuki looked across the room to where the heavy iron door was and he was sure he didn't come through there.   
  


"Bullshit!" He got up and came to stand next to Chichiri and peered over the other man's shoulder, out the small 1' x 2' opening.   
  


"Be quiet!" Chichiri hissed under his breath. When the man was sure they weren't followed he turned angrily towards the red head. "What on earth were you thinking? You could have been really hurt."   
  
Tasuki shrugged nonchalantly. "YOU helped me and Nuri the other day and there must have been a dozen of them."   
  


"I didn't DO anything. They just…ran away." Chichiri said in exasperation. "I was in no danger."   
  
"Che! I wasn't in no danger either!" Tasuki huffed.   
  


Chichiri wiped at the blood dripping into his good eye and muttered a curse under his breath.   
  


"Why did you just let them hit you?" Tasuki wanted to know. He didn't think Chichiri was a coward but he couldn't understand the man's actions. "Who were they?"   
  
Chichiri closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. "None of your concern." He said quietly.   
  


"Fuck that! Who were they?" He asked again.   
  


Chichiri turned a cold glare on him…again. "Leave it." He told Tasuki coolly, and then narrowed his eye at the red head. "What are you doing here?"   
  


Tasuki stared at Chichiri blankly as he tried to come up with something. "I…um…came to see a friend."   
  


Chichiri didn't look like he'd believed Tasuki. "I see. What a coincidence. What was his name?"   
  
"Huh?"   
  
"Your friend's name." Chichiri had taken out a blue handkerchief and was pressing it to his bleeding temple.   
  


"Here, let me." Tasuki didn't know what possessed him to reach over and take the blue cloth from Chichiri. He shivered as his hand touched the injured man's and swallowed the lump he found in his throat. Chichiri, still leaning against the wall, stared at him mutely but didn't protest as Tasuki brushed his long bangs aside so he could see the cut. Tasuki let out a relieved sigh when he saw that it wasn't too bad. "Well, at least you won't need to get stitches." He gently but firmly pressed the blue silk to the gash and suppressed the rising urge to kiss the scar covering Chichiri left eye. Tasuki gulped audibly when Chichiri's hand came up to grip his. Tasuki looked at the piercing brown eye and swore he was melting.   
  


"Why are you following me?" Chichiri asked softly. The ice was gone from his tone as he stared, puzzled, at the redhead.   
  


Tasuki started to lie but the earnest question from the other man compelled him to be honest. "I wanted to know more about you." He blushed and looked away from the questioning eye. Tasuki busied himself tending to the gash on Chichiri's head and wiping blood from the surrounding area. He could still feel the intensity of the gaze but adamantly refused to look back.   
  


"Why?" Tasuki looked into Chichiri's eye then. The question was filled with utter confusion and frustration; something that he wouldn't normally associate with Stonewall Chichiri. Well…except that one time when Chichiri had kissed him and…touched him. Tasuki felt heat rushing to his face as he recalled the gentle yet insistent hand caressing him, encouraging him to…   
  


"I…I'm not s-sure why." Tasuki stammered as the nearness of the other man caused the blood to rush to more than his face. There was something so erotic about the uncertainty in the other man, something that made Tasuki want to hold him and comfort him.   
  


Chichiri's gaze shifted to the redhead's lips and Tasuki swallowed nervously, remembering only too well the feel of Chichiri's lips on his. Unconsciously he licked his lips and Chichiri gave a low growl before he slipped his hand behind Tasuki's head and pulled the other man to him. Tasuki only had enough time to put his free hand against the wall next to Chichiri's head to steady himself as the older man plundered his mouth. Chichiri's cut forgotten, the blue cloth fell to the ground as he slipped his hand to cradle the other man's head, holding him close. Tasuki leaned into Chichiri's hard frame making every inch of their bodies press intimately together.   
  


Chichiri gave him a shove and Tasuki found himself pinned against the wall with Chichiri's leg pressed urgently into his groin. He moaned against the hungry lips and rubbed himself shamelessly on the lean thigh.   
  


Chichiri broke away abruptly, panting hard. "Is this why you followed me?" He asked huskily, his eye shifting keenly between Tasuki's golden orbs.   
  


"Yes." Tasuki whispered and pulled the man back in. This time it was he who initiated the kiss. He drove hungrily between the startled lips and continued to rub himself against the other man. Tasuki was very aware that his movements were making his own thigh rub against Chichiri's hardening bulge and the knowledge that he was doing this to the man made Tasuki even harder. He was aching so bad it was borderline painful.   
  


Tasuki nearly shouted with joy when he felt Chichiri's hands fumble at his belt and zippers. _Yes! He thrust into the questing hands, urging them to hurry. Chichiri chuckled against his lips and slipped one hand inside, rubbing at the hard shaft between the openings of Tasuki's pants. Chichiri pulled his pants down slightly, freeing his throbbing organ and Tasuki moaned in protest when Chichiri pulled away from the kiss.   
  
_

Tasuki gasped and whimpered when Chichiri knelt between his legs and ran his tongue along the underside of his erection. His legs nearly gave way as Chichiri took the head of his wet cock between those delicious lips and sucked urgently.   
  


"Gods…oh gods…" Tasuki moaned and gripped Chichiri's head firmly. _This was so fucking good. He wanted so badly to thrust into the incredible wet heat but Chichiri held his hips firmly pinned against the wall and all he could do was whimper and beg for release.   
  
_

Chichiri took pity on him and after what seemed like a sweet eternity, the kneeling man took Tasuki's whole quivering length into his mouth and allowed Tasuki some movement. The redhead did his best to hold back but the exquisite sensation those talented lips created was driving him nearly insane with pleasure. "Chiri…" He moaned before he gave in to the spiraling vortex and cried out his climax as he thrust deep into Chichiri's mouth.   
  


Chichiri froze momentarily as he heard Tasuki moan his name. It couldn't be. He shook his head mentally and swallowed the hot release Tasuki had graced him with.   
  


Tasuki's breathing calmed somewhat by the time Chichiri finish licking him clean. The older man stood up and looked curiously at him.  Satiated, he gazed languidly into the twinkling brown eye. "I've never had a blowjob like that." He murmured, still panting slightly. "Wow."   
  


Tasuki caught his breath when Chichiri gave him a heartwarming smile and shook his head. "Baka." He pulled the redhead away from the wall and kissed him soundly on the lips. "Let's get out of here."   
  
Tasuki blinked and stared at Chichiri, confused. "But…but…"   
  
Chichiri raised his brow mockingly at him. "But…but…what?   
  


Tasuki looked pointedly at the obvious bulge in Chichiri's pants. "That's gotta hurt man, come here." He pulled Chichiri to him and was surprised when he met no resistance. "My turn." Tasuki reached between Chichiri's legs and rubbed the older man.   
  


Chichiri sighed and caught Tasuki's wrist, stopping him. He gazed heatedly into Tasuki's eyes before he leaned over and whispered into the redhead's ear.   
  


"No." Tasuki shivered as Chichiri traced his tongue along the whorl of Tasuki's ear. "This is not where I want to fuck you."   
  


Tasuki's heart nearly stopped and he gasped unsteadily. Chichiri pulled away to look deep into his eyes, daring him to disagree.   
  


Tasuki swallowed and nodded. "Okay." He replied weakly. He leaned heavily against Chichiri, his legs refusing to support him. The older man kissed him again and pulled him towards the rusty iron door. Tasuki's whole being hummed with anticipation as he followed the other man.   
  


_"This is not where I want to fuck you." Damn!   
  
_

TBC…

Did you like?  I know, I know, it's evil of me to stop there but the chapter is quite long already.  We'll just have to see what will happen to the boys next time, ne?


	7. The Pain

_Author's notes and Warning:_  Woohoo!  Another chapter, na no da!  This one is mostly Chichiri and Tasuki.  _Special to thanks to my beta reader, Hitari-chan!!!!  Arigatou no da!_

Okay…I know I was evil to have left the last chapter off so…unfulfilling?  Since all of you have been so kind and supportive (leaving me such fun reviews to read!), I wrote the lemon for you.  Anyway, this chapter will contain lots of pain for poor Chichiri and some for Tas-chan too!  But I hope the lemon will appease you…

My thanks to all the fantastic reviewers…

**Sakata:** LOL, gomen, ne?  Not only do I torture bishounens, I torture readers too!  Goodness, I love do Ran/Ken.  I'm thinking of writing them soon…  AGH!  So many bishies, so little time!!!  And thank you for another chapter of Eternity Knots!  Um…more please.

**Xellas:** Arigatou, arigatou, arigatou!  I can't say it enough!  Actually I love writing Yuki, well in this particular setting that is.  But I know it will be a challenge if I were to write him in a more sensitive role, hmm…what an interesting idea…I believe that was in one of your emails…

**Shadow Priestess:** I've seen the 'no da' used in several other places as well but I haven't seen it done as consistently as when Chichiri does it.  Though Ryuuichi uses it, it's hardly to the same extend as Chiri-sama…  And Chiri says it so well… *dreamy sigh*  Arigatou!

**TigerBlak: **ROFL!  I about died reading your review; it's so damn funny!  Thank you very much!  LOL, your poor computer!  And yes, the boys are form Weiss Kreuz. Do you like Ran/Ken pairing?

**Keimei:** DAAAA!  Yes, Seki-sama is Kenken's seiyuu too!  He's so darn funny in interviews; I just love him to death!  And Koyasu Takehito (Ran) is really sexy, I think.  What a cute overbite and red hair just like Ran!  Did you know he's the creator of Weiss? *sigh*  As for the 'thing' between Chiri and Tas, it's not just a sex thing.  Some will be explained this chapter… Chichiri's just real closed up right now…

**Midori:** *squeals with Midori-chan*  I love Ran/Ken too!  As well as Youji and Omi. ^^ Interested if I write a Ran/Ken fic? Hehehe, like I don't have enough to do, ne?  But thank you for your review!

**Tricia:** Arigatou!  I know, bad, bad Moonraven!  I hope you like this one too, no da!  The Weiss boys saw how much fun the others were having and BEGGED to join us…really!

**Hitari-chan:** A most kawaii-est beta reader in the whole fandom!  May the Goddess of fanfiction forever bless you with bountiful ideas and creativity!!!  Hugs and blessings, no da!  Oh, and may the typo demon never visit your keyboard, na no da!

**Fujimiya Maru:**  *drool*  Chichiri, the seducer…yum.  LOL, if you think this is a lot of limey action in one chapter, try my GW fic!  I had three couple with lemon in one chapter.  Whew *fans herself*, now THAT was a challenge!  Arigatou!!!

**Kawaii:**  Thank you!!!  About the lime in the cemetery…er…well…Tas-chan made me do it!  Yeah, yeah, that's it!  Bad, bad, Tasuki!  ~.~  Hm…FOUR couples with lemon? Well, I did three with lemon, I guess one more won't hurt but I think FF.net might have something to say about that. LOL.  It's a thought, though, you hentai little Fangirl.  I still remember you being responsible for a certain shower scene in '_Once Upon a Dream_'…  ((Hugs))

**M-chan:** LOL.  Zero Quatre?  Yes, I believe you're right.  But that's because he's unhappy he'd hurt Ryu-chan, ne?  Just like Trowa made Quat all better, Ryu-chan will fix Tohma right up.  Heh, heh, heh, I'm so glad I'd put Ran/ken in.  So many people seem to like them!  *hopping up and down waving her Ran/Ken flag* Arigatou, no da!!!

**Eeyaatoe:** Thank you very much!!!  I hope you like this one as well!

**MAJOR LEMON WARNING!!!**  Please leave if you are not of age.

Sections in italic are Chichiri's memories/flashback of his time in the 'psychiatric home for trouble young men'.

**Songs Of The Heart - Chapter 7: The Pain**

By Moonraven   
  
  
"Where the hell did the bike come from?" Tasuki eyed the black monstrosity with suspicion. Chichiri certainly didn't come here on a motorcycle.   
  


Chichiri turned an amused eye on Tasuki and climbed on the bike. "I left it here the last time I came." He said smoothly as he handed Tasuki a helmet. "Get on."   
  


"Leaving so soon?" A hard tone had both men turn simultaneously towards the voice. Daisuke stood a few feet away, glaring at them contemptuously.   
  


Tasuki sighed and deliberately moved to stand between the man and Chichiri. "Look, man, I think we got the message. Stay away. We are. So let it go already, okay?"   
  


Daisuke ignored him and continued to address Chichiri. "A feisty new lover." He sneered. "How soon we forget. It must be easy for you to move on, being the cold and heartless _murderer that you are."   
  
_

"It's not like I had a choice." Chichiri's calm voice sounded behind Tasuki. The redhead turned to look at his…lover? Could they be called that? Warmth spread through Tasuki at the thought of Chichiri as his lover…   
  


"NO! You're right; you didn't have a choice. That was taken away when you killed my brother." Daisuke's voice was hard and unforgiving.   
  


Tasuki watched the two men nervously. New lover? Were Chichiri and Hikou…lovers? Chichiri did not respond to Daisuke's verbal attack but he clearly looked unhappy and frowned as he stared at the other man.   
  


Daisuke snorted derisively. "Not denying it this time? Not going to claim memory loss again? Father should have killed you that time you came to the house. Had I been home, I would have torn you from limb to limb." He moved slowly towards the man on the bike.   
  


"Whoa, there, bud---"   
  
"Tasuki." Chichiri called calmly as he got off his bike. "It's alright. Get on the bike and stay there."   
  


"I don't think so." Tasuki said softly as he continued to eye the advancing man.   
  


Daisuke snickered and spared Tasuki a glance. "Don't worry. There are way too many people here. I can wait. I've waited 10 years." He came to a stop a couple of feet in front of Chichiri. "Not a very obedient pup, is he?" He asked Chichiri softly. "Into younger men now?"   
  


Chichiri raised a hand to calm Tasuki when he heard the younger man growled. "He has his own mind. I like that."   
  


Tasuki wasn't sure what he was witnessing. The tension between the two was beyond what he had experienced in the cemetery. There was something unsaid that hung heavily in the air. Daisuke was a few inches taller than Chichiri but the smaller man did not flinch as he stared back calmly. Tasuki felt an uncomfortable tug in his chest and he didn't know why. It wasn't fear for Chichiri's safety; somehow he knew the man could take care of himself. It was that SOMETHING he felt in the air…   
  
"Even with the scar, you haven't changed much." Daisuke said softly, almost to himself. "Seven people died and you came out with only a scar." Daisuke reached up to trace the scar with surprising gentleness and Tasuki caught his breath. What the hell was going on?   
  


Chichiri did not move. He continued to gaze silently into the black eyes of the taller man. The strange tugging in Tasuki chest was getting stronger; could THIS man be…?   
  


"Did you tell him…everything?" Daisuke asked, suddenly bitter again. "Everything that you won't tell us? Like WHY you killed Hikou?"   
  
Pain flashed briefly across Chichiri's face before he could school it back to the calm mask he customarily wore. Tasuki didn't like this docile Chichiri. It wasn't something he was accustomed to seeing in the usually strong man. Was this how Chichiri was as Houjun?   
  


Chichiri looked away before he whispered, "I don't remember."   
  


"You son of a---" Daisuke growled in annoyance. "Still singing the same old song?" He grabbed the front of Chichiri's shirt and pulled the man up so that Chichiri's face was only a couple of inches from his own. "Did you tell him about us? Did you tell him about the lover you betrayed when you killed Hikou?"   
  


Tasuki finally understood the tension he felt between the two men. THEY were lovers not Chichiri and Hikou. Tasuki wondered with a sinking heart if that tension wasn't some residual feelings, which was left unresolved.   
  


Chichiri slowly clasped his hand over Daisuke's and gently pulled it from his shirt. He shrugged to straighten his clothing; all the while his eye never left the burning black orbs.   
  


"No." He said softly. "I didn't betray you, never purposely. I can't explain what happened but if I could trade my life for theirs, I would have." Chichiri voice shook slightly and he hastily looked away. It was unfortunate for him that the direction he looked took him right into Tasuki's intense gaze and the agony he tried to hide was shown clearly to the redhead. Tasuki's heart ached; there were so much pain and sorrow edged in every feature on Chichiri's face. How much more did Chichiri need to suffer?   
  


"Talk is cheap, Houjun. You're alive and they're not." Daisuke continued but his voice lacked the vehemence it carried earlier. "Maybe this is fitting after all; live and know that you had destroyed lives. Live with yourself for that heinous crime, Houjun. Live with the fact that I will never forgive you." He sneered at the man in front of him before turning to Tasuki. "I would stay away from him if I were you." Daisuke smirked knowingly. "Didn't you know everyone around Houjun either dies or suffers immeasurable pain?" He turned abruptly to Chichiri. "You didn't tell him about your parents, either?"   
  
Chichiri froze and color drained from his face as Daisuke laughed mirthlessly. "Typical. Of course you wouldn't say anything that would chase away a good fuck but really, Houjun. Tsk, tsk. If you could kill off you par---"   
  
"ENOUGH!" With speed Tasuki didn't know he had, he found himself between the two men and he shoved Daisuke violently away from Chichiri. "What the hell do you know about what happened?" He shouted at the other man. "As I see it, NOBODY knows anything about that night. What do you know about what he's been through? LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE!"   
  


He grabbed the still silent Chichiri and shoved him towards the bike, handing him the helmet. Tasuki turned toward Daisuke who was getting to his feet some yards away. "You talked about betrayal, man, but YOU betrayed HIM when you turned against him when he needed you the most." He got on the motorcycle in front of Chichiri and kicked the huge vehicle into life, silently praying that it wasn't too different from the scooter he'd used before.   
  


Tasuki was surprised to find the bike to be relatively easy to handle. He wasn't sure what prompted him to drive the darn thing but he had to get Chichiri out of there; the man had literally shut down. Tasuki could feel Chichiri trembling slightly as the older man pressed into his back. If the redhead hadn't been worried sick about the other man, his mind would have taken a rather different interpretation of that lean body behind him.   
  


"Hang on, Chiri, I'm getting you home." Tasuki shouted atop the noise of traffic and motorcycle engine. If Chichiri had heard it, he gave no indication and the redhead went to the closest place he could think of, his apartment.   
  


He pulled into the underground parking and rolled the bike in next to his truck. "Okay, Chiri, we're here." He got off the bike and turned to the still silent Chichiri. The older man took off his helmet and gave Tasuki a blank look. When it appeared that Chichiri wasn't getting up anytime soon, Tasuki gently took his elbow and helped him off the bike. "This way." He led the older man up to his apartment and hoped that Chichiri wouldn't think he was up to something. He just wanted to get Chichiri back to normal again. He wasn't planning anything unscrupulous. He just didn't like to see Chichiri like this; the meek man walking silently behind him was freaking him out major time.   
  


When they got into his apartment, Tasuki led Chichiri to the couch. "Want a beer?" No, no, no. "Er…how about some tea?" Yeah, that's better. Baka!   
  


Silent. Chichiri stared straight ahead and gave no indication that he had heard Tasuki. The redhead came and knelt in front of Chichiri making their eyes leveled. "Chiri."   
  
Chichiri frowned slightly at the name but he stared right through Tasuki as if he wasn't there.   
  


"Chichiri." Tasuki tried again a little louder. Nothing. Damn.   
  


Tasuki swallowed hard and grabbed his phone. He dialed the NG labels office and asked for Ryuuichi.   
  


"_Tohma, here." A soft voiced answered.   
  
_

"Seguchi-san. This is Tasuki. Gomen, but I'm looking for Sakuma-san."   
  


"_He's here, just a minute, Tasuki."   
  
_

"_TASUKI-I-I-I!!!" A deliriously cheerful voice nearly popped his eardrum. Tasuki held the phone away slightly and winced. __'I sure hope he's up to helping Chiri.' Tasuki thought silently.   
  
_

"Sakuma-san. Something's wrong with Chichiri. Please, I don't know what to do." He glanced worriedly to the inanimate man on the couch.   
  


"What happened?" Ryuuichi's voiced dropped dramatically. "Where are you?"   
  


Tasuki explained briefly and gave the other man directions to his place. He sighed in relief as he hung up. This was not how he had envisioned the day turning out. He sighed again as he sat down next to Chichiri. Hesitantly he took the other man's hand and held it gently in his. Chichiri did not respond but he didn't move away either. Tasuki took that to be a good sign.   
  


"Chiri." He called again and unconsciously brought Chichiri hand to his lips. He kissed the slim fingers tenderly. "Chiri, please be okay." He whispered.   
  


Suddenly realizing what he was doing, Tasuki gasped and hastily put Chichiri's hand back down. Still the other man sat staring unseeingly ahead.   
  


Okay…Tasuki thought and chewed on his lips. Maybe Chichiri needed a little hug. People feel better when they're hugged…right?   
  


Clearing his throat nervously, Tasuki scooted closer to the semi-conscious man and draped his arm over Chichiri's shoulders. No reaction.   
  


Swallowing hard, Tasuki pulled Chichiri against him. The other man's head fell gently on his shoulder and Tasuki felt a stirring of something achingly sweet in the pit of his stomach. What was this feeling?   
  


"Chiri." Tasuki whispered as he stroked Chichiri's hair. "Everything's gonna be okay, Chiri. I promise."   
  


Tasuki wasn't sure what he did but Chichiri relaxed completely against him, allowing the younger man to gather him closer in his arms. "That's right, Chiri, just rest. I'll take care of you." It felt so natural and perfect to hold Chichiri in his arms. Tasuki had never felt anything so…right.   
  


As he soothingly stroked the other man's hair, his thoughts went back to the exact moment he had felt the change in Chichiri. Sure, the man was completely different when he was talking to Daisuke but he didn't really snap until the mention of his parents.   
  


_"If you could kill off you par---" That's what Daisuke was saying. Did he mean that Chichiri had __killed his parents as well? What the hell?   
  
_

As he was pondering the many mysteries of Chichiri, the door flew open and a wide-eyed Ryuuichi Sakuma rushed in with Tohma close behind.   
  


Ryuuichi stopped short in front of them and stared at the embracing couple blankly. '_Well, that was fast.' He thought pleasantly.   
  
_

"Anou…" Tasuki froze. "It's…not what it looks like." He said nervously. "I…he…"   
  
Ryuuichi laughed and shook his head. "It's okay, Tasuki-kun. This is exactly what I want." He turned and smiled brightly at the stunned Tohma who could only blink at Tasuki blankly.   
  


"Let's get him into bed for now, shall we?" Ryuuichi suggested and looked pointedly at Tasuki.   
  


"Er…here?" Tasuki squeaked.   
  


"Yes. We really shouldn't move him. His body should be stabilized when his mind returns." Ryuuichi waited patiently while Tasuki absorbed what he said.   
  


"Return?" Tasuki asked weakly. "Where did it go?"   
  
Ryuuichi looked sadly at his lover and sighed. "When the pain is too much for him, he retreats to a safer place in his mind. He doesn't usually remember anything, though, but he would be back to his normal self when he wakes up."   
  


"Normal…" Tasuki frowned. Which Chichiri was the 'normal' Chichiri?   
  


Ryuuichi knelt in front of Chichiri and gently brushed away the bang covering his brows. He looked up at Tasuki and smiled sadly. "Remember what I told you the other day. You could help him heal, I know it." He tapped Tasuki cheek gently. "Discover the real Chichiri together. He's been waiting for you." He got up and went to stand next to Tohma. "Come on, take him to bed while Tohma and I make tea."   
  


Tasuki got up carefully and scooped Chichiri up in his arms. As he carried Chichiri to his room, he turned and saw the other two men holding each other tenderly. He blinked several times in astonishment. O-kay…this is getting weirder and weirder…   
  


When he returned to the living room, Tohma and Ryuuichi had three cups of tea on the coffee table and were sitting very close together. Very close.   
  


Tasuki sat down on the floor across from them. He looked from Tohma to Ryuuichi and then back to Tohma again. "Am I missing something?"   
  


Ryuuichi smiled and nodded. "Will you take care of Chichiri?"   
  


"I don't think it's up to me. It's not like he's gonna want to be 'taken cared of'." Tasuki mumbled under his breath and shivered at the memories of the arctic glare.   
  


Ryuuichi laughed softly. "I know what you mean, but you'll find a way." Ryuuichi became somber suddenly and leaned forward. "Tell me everything that was said to him?"   
  


Tasuki went into great detail about what had occurred earlier that day. Well, except for the little incident in the tomb but from the colors on his cheeks and his struggle to bridge the gap, he was pretty sure they figured it out. Ryuuichi listened intently and nodded when Tasuki finished.   
  


"Daisuke. I hadn't counted on Chichiri meeting him again. We had kept the man away for so long." He turned to Tohma. "What is he doing back in Tokyo?"   
  


Tohma frowned and shook his head. "I don't know but I'll find out."   
  
Tasuki looked at the two men with disbelief. "You…you…" He didn't know what to say. Do they just arrange people's lives to suit their own?   
  


"It was for their own good, Tasuki." Tohma said quietly. "Chichiri needed to heal and Daisuke needed to be…well, kept from committing a murder. I just got him a really good job in another city, that's all." Yeah, on another island…   
  
"Does Chichiri know?"   
  


They looked at each other uncomfortably. "No." They said in unison.   
  


Tasuki threw up his hands and shook his head. "You know what? I didn't hear nothing. I don't know nothing. I sure as hell don't want to be caught in one of your schemes. Beneficial or otherwise."   
  
The two men on the couch managed to look guilty even if it was briefly. "You saw how Chichiri was." Ryuuichi said. "You saw what happened to him. Do YOU think keeping Dai away was a bad thing?"   
  


Tasuki shook his head. "I don't know…I'm not judging you, it's just…well, I think he should know, that's all."   
  
They were silent for a few moments before Ryuuichi said quietly. "He didn't kill his parents."   
  


Tasuki looked up sharply and Ryuuichi continued. "It was a very difficult time for his parents; people harassed them constantly. That, coupled with the fact that they couldn't see him broke his mother's heart. She became very ill and not long after the incident, she passed away. People talked more after her death and Chichiri became a 'curse' to the people he knew. His father couldn't take the stress, he loved Chichiri so much, and he just couldn't believe the things they were saying about his son. At that time, no one was allowed to see Chichiri. His father didn't know if he was dead or alive." Ryuuichi paused and sighed heavily. "He committed suicide a few months after his wife's death. You could imagine what people say after that. We didn't know any of this then; I didn't even know Chichiri. Poor Eiri was the only one that wouldn't give up on Chichiri."   
  
The older man looked at Tasuki intently. "What happened to his parents was the hardest thing for Chichiri. You mustn't bring it up. I probably shouldn't have told you, he'd be so angry but you need to understand what happened today. If you're going to be with him, if you're going to help him, you'd need to understand the trigger."   
  


A crashing sound came from the bedroom and the three men were jolted out of their thoughts. They rushed towards the sound and fell back a step when glowing red light burst from the bedroom doorway. Tasuki gasped as he remembered seeing the light twice earlier that day. Shielding his eyes, he rushed through the doorway and made his way towards the bed where he knew Chichiri was.   
  


As abruptly as it had appeared, the light disappeared, revealing Chichiri thrashing and panting on the bed. Tohma and Ryuuichi came to stand on the other side of the bed and Ryuuichi motioned for Tasuki to get in the bed.   
  


"Nani?" Tasuki looked incredulously at Ryuuichi.   
  


"He needs to be held! Like you did on the sofa. Comfort him, he's back in that…place!" Ryuuichi nearly choked on his emotions as he watched his former lover whimper in pain. Tohma took Ryuuichi in his arms and motioned that Tasuki should do the same with Chichiri.   
  


Tasuki looked at the writhing man on the bed and his heart nearly broke. What horrors had Chichiri gone through? He climbed between the sheets and pulled Chichiri into his arms while whispering soothing words to the trembling man. He rocked Chichiri gently and tried to emulate what he did on the couch when Chichiri had relaxed almost immediately.   
  


"Shh…Chiri. It's okay; I'm here, Chiri. Nothing's going to hurt you, I'm here. Shh…" Chichiri stopped thrashing about and clutched at Tasuki's shirt tightly. He continued to whimper but his trembling had stopped. Chichiri snuggled into Tasuki chest and gave a small moan as he slowly relaxed. Within a few minutes his breathing was deep and steady, signaling that he had fallen asleep.   
  


Ryuuichi and Tohma looked at each other and smiled.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


_Cold. Everything was so very cold.   
  
_

_He couldn't move. He was strapped down again. The pain throbbed continuously from the various places where tubes stuck out of his body. Were there more tubes this time? He'd lost count of them.   
  
_

_"He's awake again, damn it!" Oh, them. They were here. How could he have forgotten about them?   
  
_

_"Give him another doze quickly. I don't want him awake, when I'M in here!" Why were they so afraid of him?   
  
_

_He tried to open his eyes but he was so tired. He gasped. More pain. Always pain.   
  
_

_Then blessed darkness consumed him again.   
  
_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


_"Houjun."   
  
_

**_Who's calling him…?   
  
_**

_"Houjun!"   
  
_

**_No, go away. He wanted to go back to the darkness where he couldn't feel anything.   
  
_**

_"How much did you give him?"   
  
__"Five cc."   
  
_

_"Are you crazy? You'll kill him!"   
  
_

_"Better him than us!"   
  
_

_"Fools! He's just a kid! Houjun, wake up!"   
  
_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


_Pain filled his consciousness as more tests were conducted. He couldn't feel his own hands; everything was so numb from the constant probing. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted to die…   
  
_

_"No, Chichiri." A hoarse voice said from the void of blackness surrounding him.   
  
_

_"Chichiri." A woman's voice called. "Remember your training, Chichiri." She sounded so old…so familiar…   
  
_

**_Who was this…Chichiri?   
  
_**

_"You are Chichiri."   
  
****__No, I'm Houjun.   
  
_

_"You are one and the same. Strength, Chichiri. You have always been the one with the strength. Do not give up."   
  
****__Tired. I'm tired. Make them go away. Please.   
  
_

_"Remember your training, Chichiri…"   
  
_

**_What training?   
  
_**

_"Remember and you can make the pain go away."   
  
_

**_Remember…?   
  
_**

_~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
_

_"Find me, Chiri. You promised." A strong male voice urged.   
  
_

**_Who's that? Who're you?   
  
_**

_"I'm waiting, Chiri." Warm arms enveloped him and he didn't feel the cold or the pain. "Chiri…" He felt loved and he felt safe…   
  
_

_"I love you, Chiri." Warmth and contentment spread throughout his body as the tender arms tightened their hold on him.   
  
_

**_"Don't leave me alone…"   
  
_**

_"Never, Chiri. I'll always be with you."   
  
_

**_Who are you…?   
  
_**

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


Tasuki closed the front door after Ryuuichi and Tohma. They had decided that it was best to leave Chichiri with Tasuki and that they were no longer needed. He looked at the clock and sighed. Chichiri had been sleeping for 3 hours. Tasuki went to the kitchen and got a drink for the man in case he was thirsty when he woke up.   
  


He paused before entering the bedroom. Was he strong enough to deal with this? Was he really what Chichiri needed? Tasuki couldn't see the man needing anybody, yet the memory of him chasing Chichiri's nightmares away was still vivid in his mind.   
  


"Where am I?"   
  
Chichiri's voice from the bed greeted Tasuki as he walked in the bedroom. The older man was sitting up in bed and fingering the cut near his temple.   
  


"You're at my place. Feeling better?" Tasuki came to stand by the bed and held out a glass of water.   
  


Chichiri stared hard at him and Tasuki wondered what happened to the man in the tomb, the one who had smiled at him and held him. It was as if none of that had happened; Chichiri was back to being the iceberg and Tasuki felt a clenching pain in his chest.   
  


"Okay…I guess you ARE feeling better." He put the glass down on the nightstand and gave Chichiri a small smile. "What do you…um…remember?"   
  


Chichiri's eye narrowed as he peered at Tasuki. "Are you worried that I'd forget what we did? Or forget what I had wanted to do?" A small cruel smile touched the icy lips and Tasuki colored brightly.   
  


"NO!" He protested hotly. "I was just…well, you were out for hours! I…was worried." Red faced, Tasuki was appalled that he couldn't come up with a more scathing reply. This was SO unlike him.   
  


Chichiri frowned and looked away. "No need. I'm fine." He threw off the blanket and swung his feet off the bed. "How did we get here?"   
  


"Your bike." Tasuki told him.   
  


"Where is it?"   
  


"In the garage downstairs."   
  


"Good. I'm leaving." Chichiri stood up, bringing him face to face with Tasuki. The younger man took a step back and swallowed. Chichiri was so close yet he was so far away. Why couldn't he reach the other man? Why wouldn't Chichiri let him in?   
  


"Are…are you sure you should? I mean…" What the hell are you doing? Get him the fuck gone! Good riddance!   
  


Chichiri did not move but stared dispassionately at Tasuki.   
  


"I mean…" Tasuki swallowed and tried again. "Could you ride that thing…now?"   
  


Chichiri smirked and took a step closer to Tasuki. "I can ride anything, anytime." He said softly as he allowed his eye to roam the other man's body.   
  


Tasuki stopped breathing. Blood rushed to various parts of his body and the redhead was shocked to find that he had absolutely no control over his body's reaction to Chichiri. What was the man doing? How could he be so damn cold one minute and then so fucking HOT the next?   
  


Chichiri took a step back and shook his head. "You don't want to be near me. Don't you remember what the man said?"   
  
"You remember that?" Tasuki took a big gulp of air, earning an amused glance from Chichiri. "Sakuma-san said you wouldn't remember…"   
  


"Ryuuichi knows?" Chichiri's frown was back. "Where is he?"   
  


"He came and went…with Seguchi-san." He said hesitantly. Did Chichiri know about the other two?   
  


A graceful brow quirked and a small, genuine smile touched Chichiri's lips. "Good." He said softly, as if to himself. "Very good, indeed."   
  
Tasuki shook his head in resignation. He had decided sometime ago that understanding the relationships between these men at NG Label was an impossibility, but…what was to become of him and Chichiri? What of Chichiri and Ryuuichi? Was the man just playing with him?   
  


Chichiri gave Tasuki a steady gaze before he reached up and caressed a strand of fiery hair. "Stay away from me, Tasuki. I'm not good for anyone." He told the redhead quietly.   
  


Before Chichiri could take his hand away, Tasuki brought his up and gripped it firmly. "I'm not a very obedient pup, remember? I do have my own mind." He reminded Chichiri. "It's just…"   
  
Chichiri looked at his captured wrist curiously then turned puzzled eye to Tasuki. "It's just…what?"   
  
"I…I've never…well…" Tasuki struggled with the many thoughts plaguing his mind. "And what about Sakuma-san? You know…" He trailed away licking his lips nervously. He drew in a shaky breath as he saw desire glinting in Chichiri's brown eye.   
  


"What about him?" Chichiri pulled Tasuki to him and wrapped the younger man firmly in his arms. "Didn't he look happy to you?" He nuzzled Tasuki's neck and swiped his tongue along the slender column.   
  


"But…but you're, you know…aren't you together?" Chichiri's lips and tongue were making speech near impossible and Tasuki thought it best to just give up; he had better things to do with his own mouth anyway.   
  


Tasuki threw back his head giving Chichiri better access to his throat. He sighed contentedly as Chichiri took the invitation and roamed the silken skin.   
  


"Chiri…" Tasuki moaned as Chichiri's hand found the hardened flesh between his legs. "Gods…Chiri…"   
  


Chichiri froze momentarily and pulled away to look uncertainly at Tasuki. "What did you call me?"   
  


Tasuki blinked stupidly at the question and shrugged. "Chiri? Um…if you don't like it I'll go back to Chichiri but it's a mouthful, man." He smiled at the other man.   
  


Chichiri searched his face intently before shaking his head. He looked as if he was trying to remember something but couldn't. "No, it's okay. It doesn't matter." But the troubled frown between his brows clearly said otherwise. Tasuki pulled away slightly but remained within the circle of Chichiri's arms.   
  


"Look, it's been a long day for you. So if you don't…you know… I mean if you want to leave…" Gods, I am so fucked up, I can't even put a decent sentence together.   
  


Chichiri snapped out of his thoughts and shifted his gaze to the nervous pink tongue flickering out to moisten soft, firm lips. "Do you want me to leave?" He asked softly, not taking his eye off the delectable lips.   
  


"…No."   
  


"Are you sure about that?" Chichiri was giving him every opportunity to say no but Tasuki had already made up his mind. He wanted this man and only this man.   
  


"Yes." He said firmly and leaned in to cover Chichiri's lips with his own. So soft, so strong, so sweet…   
  


Chichiri suckled on Tasuki's lower lip, eliciting a soft moan from the redhead. His hot tongue delved ardently between Tasuki's parted lips encouraging the younger man to reciprocate just as fervently. Chichiri's urgent hands pulled on his clothing and Tasuki was only too happy to comply. Within minutes they found themselves naked and rubbing against each other, panting heavily.   
  


"Sit." Chichiri gave Tasuki a small push and the redhead found himself sitting on the edge of the bed. Chichiri knelt between his knees and spread them wide. Just seeing the man between his legs nearly doubled the strength of Tasuki's erection and he groaned deep in his throat while his swollen flesh dripped and pulsed with desire.   
  


Chichiri took Tasuki's arousal in his hand and gently squeezed the head while running his thumb across the tip, smearing the precious liquid across the top. He bent his head and lapped at the moisture and suckled gently at the small slit.   
  


"Chiri!" Tasuki cried as he tried to thrust his hips into the strong hand. "Please…"   
  


Chichiri took the quivering shaft deep into his mouth and gently pushed Tasuki back on the bed. He pushed one of Tasuki's legs up on the bed, exposing the younger man's small entrance for his exploration.   
  


Tasuki mewed in protest when the incredible heat left his aching shaft and he thrust his hips up, hoping for more friction. He groaned in satisfaction when Chichiri's hand came up and took a firm hold of his arousal. What he wasn't prepared for was the hot moisture that lapped at his opening and his eyes shot open wide.   
  


"Chiri…?" Tasuki squeaked in panic.   
  


"Shh…relax." Came the ultra sexy voice that he couldn't disobey, even if he had wanted to. Relax…easier said than done when his body was strung so tight.   
  


Tasuki choked back a cry as Chichiri's hot tongue probed gently at the small entrance, wetting it, stimulating it. Alarm gave way to raw need and he arched into Chichiri's grip, moaning and calling out the man's name. He had never felt anything this intense, this erotic; Chichiri was bringing out sensations he had never known existed.   
  


Chichiri pumped Tasuki's erection vigorously and gathered the dripping moisture with his fingertips. He removed his hand and replaced that with his mouth as he engulfed Tasuki's thick shaft. His slicked fingers moved down to caress and rub at the sensitive entrance to the redhead's body. Tasuki moaned loudly as he thrashed on the bed. What was this emptiness he felt?   
  


"Chiri?" Tasuki whimpered. "Please…gods…please…" He thrust up into the wet heat and cried out as Chichiri's finger pressed gently into his body. "Gods, yes!"   
  
Chichiri made quick small thrusts with his finger as he sucked hard on Tasuki's aching shaft. Tasuki was near tears; he didn't know what he wanted to feel more of, the hot vacuum on his arousal or the strange yet intoxicating thrusting that was so new to him.   
  


But it seemed that Chichiri knew what he needed. A second finger slipped in and the suction on his engorged length increased. Tasuki felt the rush of heat intensified at the core of his being and he thrust deep into Chichiri's waiting mouth as his essence surged out of him in violent spurts. His back arched off the bed as he shouted out his release and Chichiri's fingers thrust deep into him, magnifying the incredible sensation coursing through him.   
  


Tasuki panted in exhaustion as he settled back on the bed. He felt the bed shift and he opened his eyes to see Chichiri hovering above him. The man's fingers were still embedded deep inside him and Tasuki groaned when those fingers began moving in and out. Chichiri's mouth came down on his urgently and Tasuki gasped when he tasted himself. He had thought he might be disgusted but he found that it was actually quite erotic; they were sharing his essence.   
  


Chichiri pressed his steely need onto Tasuki's hardening length and rocked steadily into him. The friction on his renewing arousal and the insistent fingers brought more moans to Tasuki's lips and he wrapped his legs around Chichiri's waist, pulling those fingers deeper into him.   
  


"Are you sure you want to do this?" Chichiri whispered in his ear as he continued the maddening rocking and thrusting.   
  


"Are you fucking nuts? Yes!" He met Chichiri's fingers thrust for thrust, grinding his own aching flesh into Chichiri. "Stop and I'll kill you." He arched into the older man, inviting him to do more.   
  


Chichiri chuckled and pulled away.   
  


"What---" Tasuki frowned and tightened his legs around Chichiri's waist.   
  


"I need lubricant." Chichiri explained and laughed at the reddening Tasuki. "You have something?" He asked the redhead.   
  


"Er…no." He never used lubricant, not even when jerking off.   
  


"Lotion, cream, Vaseline…?" Chichiri prompted.   
  


"Do I fucking look like a woman? Lotion? Give me a break." Tasuki growled. "I don't need lubricant, just…finish it. Please, Chiri." He urged, rocking up into the hard flesh above him.   
  


Chichiri groaned at the pressure and pressed back. "No, you need lube. Hold on." He reached for something in his clothing and produced a tube of the said stuff. Tasuki eyed him suspiciously.   
  


"Where the hell did that come from?" It was a fairly big tube and Tasuki was sure the man didn't have THAT on him earlier.   
  


Chichiri shrugged and squeezed some on his fingers. "I'm always prepared." He slipped two slicked fingers back in Tasuki and the redhead sighed ecstatically. Fleeting thoughts of a reply came to mind but Tasuki couldn't voice them. He was too busy feeling to form any coherent thoughts.   
  


"No…" He whined when Chichiri removed his fingers but the rest of the sentence never formed. Something much bigger than the man's fingers pressed against his aching opening and Tasuki whimpered in need.   
  


"Chiri…" He moaned.   
  


Chichiri pressed in slowly, driving the redhead nearly insane with want. Tasuki tried pulling the older man closer but Chichiri wouldn't have it. He continued in slow his pace until he was fully seated in his young lover. Tasuki understood then what he had needed. The emptiness he had felt earlier was gone. This fulfilling sensation spread warmth throughout his being. He felt complete, whole; something he had never felt before.   
  


"You alright?" Chichiri asked, panting slightly. Tasuki marveled at the man's control; the redhead came once already and he was itching for another release, yet here was Chichiri, taking his sweet time.   
  


Tasuki looked into the warm brown eye and nodded. Warm. The ice was gone. Chichiri looked concerned but when Tasuki arched up and thrust up into him, he relaxed and slowly moved in and out of the younger man. Tasuki knew that Chichiri's concern for his first time had made the other man careful. He was touched. Maybe he had gotten to Chichiri after all.   
  


Tasuki growled deep in his throat and bucked violently when Chichiri's hand gripped his neglected arousal. The older man increased his pace and vigorously pumped Tasuki's throbbing flesh. Tasuki's vision blurred and he arched up into hand that was bringing him to his second completion.   
  


Chichiri continued to pound into him as Tasuki shouted out his orgasm, dragging the intense convulsions from his sensitized body. Chichiri moaned as he came, thrusting deep inside Tasuki. The sensation of being filled brought their love making to another level and Tasuki felt tears filled his eyes. Was this what he had been missing all this time? This complete and utter sense of contentment, of total bliss and pure joy? Was this man what he had been waiting for?   
  


He reached up and pulled Chichiri down on top of him and kissed him tenderly. "Chiri." He sighed, totally sated. "I love you, Chiri." He murmured.   
  


Tasuki gasped and held his breath. He couldn't believe he had said that. He had never said that to anyone let alone a man. A man who had treated him with cold hostility, no less. Tasuki sensed Chichiri's shock as well. The man froze and Tasuki wished with all his might that he could take it back.   
  


"Masaka…" Chichiri hissed and pushed off Tasuki. "Masaka..."  A frown creased his beautiful face as stared down at the younger man in confusion.   
  


"I'm…sorry…I…" Tasuki paused. What could he say? He didn't mean it? But he did. He understood those strange aching feelings now. He knew he loved Chichiri; he had for a while now. He just couldn't understand why he did but he knew it didn't matter.   
  


"No." Chichiri muttered under his breath. He pushed himself off the bed and began dressing. "Don't say that. Never say that." He said coldly to the stunned man on the bed. "It was just sex, Tasuki. A good lay. A fuck. That was all."   
  
Chichiri was out the door before Tasuki could form a reply. The redhead stared numbly at the empty room before he slowly got up and went to look out the bedroom window. Tasuki saw the familiar black figure rode off on the motorcycle, taking his heart with him.   
  


Tears fell silently down Tasuki's face as he felt the agony of his soul tearing.   
  


**_Why, Chiri? _**

TBC…


	8. The Acceptance

**_Author's notes and warnings:_  Happy New Year!!!!  Thank you everyone for your support!  I'm sorry if many of you thought Chichiri was a jerk… I DID warn you… But then you'll like the fluff in this chapter… ~.~  **

Introducing 2 new bishounens from Weiss…Youji and Omi were a little miffed that I invited Ran and Ken over and forgot them.  So, here they are! I don't own them either, poor me!!!!

**Super Duper Thankie to Hitari-chan for her beta work!  Without her, this fic may not make as much sense as it does, ne?**

**Bows to my reviewers:**

**_Xellas M._: (((Hugs))) Thank you!  I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate your friendship. ~.~ Thankie, Thankie, Thankie!!!**

**_Kawaii_: Thanks for your comments!  Hentai's good, ne?  Gives us creative juices to work with… and I would never have thought of the shower scene had it not been for you!  ~.~**

**_TigerBlak_: Aiya! A flamethrower? *beating the flames in her hair* Wakatta, wakatta, here's the next chapter, no da.  I'm afraid I can't produce two chapters…it would take too long and you would have to wait a bit more to read them…**

**_Hitari_-****_chan_: As much as I am an Arwen/Aragorn fan, I wouldn't mind reading an Aragorn/Legolas slash if you were to write it… (hint, hint)**

**_Eeyaatoe_: That WAS evil of me, gomen.  I think you'll like how this chapter will turn out, no da.  Thanks for your review!**

**_Sakata_: Pedro, huh?  I'm not familiar with Exel Saga but I'll sure look him up!  There's something yummy about Spanish men…  Arigatou, no da!!!**

**_Shadow_ ****_Priestess_: Thank you for your comments!  I'm glad you liked even though I made Chichiri-sama so mean.  He'll be all nice soon. Promise!**

**_Tricia_: LOL…um, yeah…I fanned myself while writing too!  Arigatou, no da!!!**

**_Midori_ ****_Himura_: *nods head understandingly*  Yep, SOME men can be jerks, ne?  The rest are just clueless. *ducks from flying objects thrown by male readers*  Um…ARE there any male readers?**

**_M-chan_: Gomen, gomen, I didn't mean to make you feel bad about being Youji/Aya fan!  Personally, I think Youji and Ran make one HOT couple.  They exude sexuality like you wouldn't believe…but I can't feel a relationship there.  I'm a total sap and I think that R/K and Y/O mesh well together… but that's just me.  Please don't run away!**

**_Bitter_ ****_silence_: Welcome!  Thank you so much for your nice, kind words!!! I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the song you mentioned but good luck in your search!  I do like the duet between Hikitsu and Tomite…such beautiful thoughts, makes me want to write a fic for them!**

**_IcaBob_: Lol, thank you very much!  Here's more for your reading enjoyment!**

**_Donhisiewen_: Arigatou, no da!!!**

**_Kaoru_: *nods agreeably*  Poor Tasuki!  But one thing I love about the bandit; he bounces back real well!  Thanks for reviewing!**

**_Asmilingfool_: Heh, heh, heh, for those that follows my fics, this is cruel but hardly unusual punishment.  Gomen, but I do have a tendency to torture our bishounens…this way when they make up, it's so darn good!  Thank you for your review!**

Well, here is the story…enjoy and please let me know what you think!  Eiri and Chichiri was especially hard to write…

Disclaimer: Don't own them.  I hate to write this, it's almost like I'm insulting your intelligence or something!  Like you didn't know…

**Songs Of The Heart - Chapter 8: The Acceptance**

By Moonraven   
  
  
"I don't want to!" Tasuki brushed his friend's hand off his shoulder. "I just don't feel like it, okay Nuri?" Going to a club with his energetic friend was definitely not what he needed.   
  


"No, it's not okay!" Nuriko stood with his hands on his hips, glaring at the redhead. "You've been moping around here for the past two weeks. You practiced half-heartedly, you can't or WON'T finish your songs, you look like you'd rather be impersonating a zombie, and you won't talk to Chichiri let alone be caught dead in the same room with him. What the hell happened? You are driving the rest of us nuts and worse of all; you won't talk to me!!! Tasuki, you're my friend. I don't want to see you like this!"   
  


"It's not my fucking fault! HE'S the one who won't talk to me. It's not ME!" Tasuki shouted in frustration.   
  


Nuriko took a step back in alarm. He'd never seen Tasuki this worked up about anyone.   
  


"Tasuki…"   
  
Tasuki looked at his childhood friend guiltily. Nuriko didn't deserve this…no wait, of course he did! He was the one that told Tasuki to follow his heart! He was the one that urged the redhead to 'explore' his feelings! Look where THAT had gotten him! This, Tasuki reasoned, was ALL Nuriko's fault.   
  


"I did what you suggested." Tasuki said miserably. "And he fucking threw it back in my face." He muttered as he sat heavily on the chair.   
  


Nuriko came and knelt beside him and put his arm around Tasuki. "I'm so sorry, Tas-chan, what happened?"   
  
Tasuki put his head in his hands, elbows resting on his thighs. "I told him I love him and he said I was just a good fuck. Imagine that! **_HE told _****_ME that! I was just a good lay… AGH!!" He got up abruptly, knocking the startled Nuriko gracelessly on his butt. "_****_I said I love him! I just wanted to be with him. He's the one who doesn't wanna see me." He turned desolately to Nuriko and found his friend wincing on the ground.   
  
_**

"Er…Gomen." Tasuki offered his disgruntled friend a hand while he ran his other hand through his fiery hair in frustration. "I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I should never have listened to you." He grumbled as Nuriko pulled himself up.   
  


Nuriko brushed the seat of his pants absently as he frowned unhappily at his friend. "I'm sorry, Tasuki. I can't believe he said that to you." Then his eyes flew open wide. "Whoa…that would mean…you…"   
  


"Fuck him, Nuri. I need a drink." Tasuki growled and stalked towards the door. "Are you coming or not?" He asked over his shoulder.   
  


"Matte, matte, Tasuki!" Nuriko ran after his friend and grabbed Tasuki's arm. He whirled the redhead to face him as he stared at the taller man, eyes wide. "You…did?"   
  
"I don't want to TALK about it, Nuri, I want to FORGET about it." Tasuki shook his arm free. "Are we going to the club or not?" Maybe he could forget Chichiri there.   
  


Nuriko sighed, his face filled with concern. "Yeah, if you're sure you want to go."   
  


"They got drinks, right?"   
  


"Yeah, they got drinks!"   
  


"Music?"   
  


"Hello! It's a dance club!"   
  


"Girls?"   
  


"Er…well, yeah…sure."   
  


Tasuki paused as he opened the door. "Whadda ya mean 'er…well…yeah…sure'?"   
  


"They got…girls…" Nuriko shrugged and tucked on the redhead's sleeve as he walked pass him.   
  


"NORMAL girls." Tasuki peered at his friend, completely oblivious to the fact that they were now half in the hallway.   
  


"All girls are…normal, Tas-chan. They ALL appreciate your charms." Nuriko said encouragingly since the redhead had stopped moving. "But why limit your options to only women? Don't you find SOME men attractive? Maybe you'll find someone hotter than Chichi…ri---" Nuriko swallowed the rest of his sentence and gulped audibly as he looked pass Tasuki's shoulders.   
  


"I don't want to think about men, especially him!" Tasuki growled. "I'm sure there are hundreds of guys who are better looking and with better personalities to boost. I want a girl! Things were so much simpler when there were only girls." Tasuki frowned at his friend whose face was displaying various shades of green. "What the hell is wrong with you?"   
  
Nuriko stared at him fixedly and cocked his head slightly, motioning for Tasuki to look behind him. The redhead turned around impatiently; ready to give a piece of his mind to whoever dared to interrupt them.   
  


But as Tasuki found out all too often recently, what he intended and what he actually did was a totally different matter.   
  


A few feet away, looking at them with a frown was Chichiri. _Surprise, surprise. Tasuki sighed in resignation. Why did things like this always happen to him?   
  
_

"Um…you know, I think I hear Hotohori calling me." Nuriko blurted out as he made for the other direction.   
  


"Yo! You said he was in Osaka!" Tasuki tried to grab his friend but Nuriko had already sprinted down the hall. Tasuki turned back to the solemn man and squared his shoulders. What could Chichiri possibly say to him that would make him feel any worse?   
  


The two men studied each other silently across the short distance that separated them. Chichiri was the first to break the silence as he handed Tasuki the papers he was holding.   
  


"This song needs rewriting." He said quietly. He didn't meet Tasuki's eyes but stared at the pages with some perplexity.   
  


"What's wrong with it?" Tasuki asked in annoyance, refusing to take the papers. He hated consulting Chichiri about his songs but he had promised Hotohori and Tohma that he would. His songs were his own; they were from his heart, his very being. No one should edit them. Especially the song Chichiri was holding; Tasuki had written it specifically for the man in front of him.   
  


"It's too…emotional." Chichiri said.   
  


"I want it like that. I'm an emotional guy." Tasuki's voice lost the hard edge as he watched Chichiri struggle with his own feelings.   
  


"I'm not." Chichiri said softly and looked up into Tasuki's eyes. "I can't." Somehow Tasuki knew they were no longer talking about his song. He saw conflicting emotions flash across Chichiri's face before the mask of indifference was in place again. What was Chichiri so afraid of?   
  


"You can't…or you won't?" Tasuki asked as he closed the gap between them. Chichiri didn't move back but the mask wavered briefly.   
  


"Does it matter?" Chichiri shrugged carelessly.   
  


_Fuck this, Tasuki thought before he pulled the other man into the recording room and closed the door.   
  
_

"Hell yes it matters." Tasuki had Chichiri's back against the closed door with the redhead leaning close. "I want this, Chiri. I want it like nothing in my entire life. I know you feel it too, I saw it in you." He cupped Chichiri's cheek gently. "Let me in, Chiri, please."   
  


Chichiri leaned in and kissed Tasuki's lips gently. He sighed as the younger man deepened the kiss and responded with feelings he feared to voice. Before he could get lost in the pleasures of Tasuki's arms, Chichiri pushed the younger man away. He shook his head ruefully as he moved away so he could open the door. As he stepped through the doorway, he turned and looked at the redhead.   
  


"I can't. Not just yet." Chichiri said softly.   
  


"What are you afraid of?" Tasuki asked.   
  


Chichiri didn't answer but looked down at the papers still clutched in his hand then back up at Tasuki. "Do you mean it? What you wrote?"   
  


"Every word." Tasuki said with conviction. That song contained his very soul.   
  


Chichiri nodded and turned to go.   
  


"You didn't answer me, Chiri. What are you afraid of?" Tasuki insisted.   
  


Chichiri paused as he stepped into the hall. He didn't turn around but replied softly, as if to himself. "You." And he was gone.   
  


Tasuki stared at the closed door in surprise. Chichiri was afraid of him? Why? He rushed after the inscrutable man but found the hallway empty?   
  


Now where the hell did he go?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


Tasuki swallowed nervously as he looked around the 'Dragon', Nuriko's latest favorite club. Shinjuku Ni-Chome section of Tokyo was infamous but Tasuki had never had the desire to see it for himself. Being gay had never crossed his mind and when he went clubbing with Nuriko, they had gone to 'regular' clubs.   
  


"Stop looking so tense, Tasuki!" Nuriko scolded. "It's just another club."   
  
"We're in the Ni-Chome area." Tasuki stated.   
  


Nuriko paused scanning the crowd and looked at his friend. "Good observation, Tas-chan." The braided boy went back to searching the crowded room. "He's here somewhere…" He muttered to himself.   
  


"Why can't we meet this…Omi somewhere else?" Tasuki asked as he avoided an interested gaze from a blond at the next table.   
  


Again Nuriko turned his attention to his friend. "Because I love this place, and I want you to enjoy it too! The music is better than 'Yellow' and the men here are to die for!" He winked at Tasuki. "Besides, Omi-chan wants to introduce me to his long time love interest, who is totally clueless! And he has something very interesting to tell me about some things I asked him to check out for me."   
  


"Does Hotohori know where you are when he's not here?" Tasuki asked.   
  


"No." Nuriko's answer was short and he didn't offer more explanations.   
  


Tasuki sighed. "It's not his fault, Nuri. It's his father after all." Nuriko had been less than his usual chirpy self since Hotohori received a message from his father to return home. He was even more melancholic when Hotohori actually left that morning.   
  


"But we know why Umemoto-san wanted Hotohori, don't we?" Nuriko said bitterly. Then he shook his head dismissively and turned a cheerful smile to his friend. "Maa, Tasuki-chan. I should be used to this unrequited love thing by now, huh? You would think that after 14 years of thinking that I can't have him, now would be no different." The slender braided young man stared down into his glass resignedly.   
  


"Don't say that." Tasuki whacked him playfully on the head. "He could be going there to tell his dad off. Trust him, will ya?"   
  
Nuriko looked at Tasuki with large teary eyes as he wrung woefully on his napkin. "You really think so? You don't think I should worry about the 'drop-the-fag-or-I'll-disinherit-you' thing?"   
  


Tasuki was sure the old man didn't put it quite like that but it was to the same effect. The sole heir to the corporate giant was told to produce an heir or else. Tasuki was pretty sure that if disinheritance didn't work, Hotohori's father wouldn't think twice about less scrupulous means. But he would never tell Nuriko that.   
  


"Even if he hadn't confessed his love for you, he wouldn't desert you. He values your friendship too much. Trust him, Nuriko." He took his small friend's hand and squeezed it gently. "He's a better man than that."   
  
Nuriko broke into an uncontrollable sob. "I'm not worthy of him!" He wailed between sobs. "I have no faith in him, I'm pathetic!"   
  


Tasuki cringed and looked around them nervously as people stopped to stare at them. He smiled at the curious crowd and pointed to Nuriko's glass and shrugged. "Too much of that…green stuff." He patted Nuriko's back clumsily. "No more drinks for you, Nuriko-chan."   
  


The curious stares turned sympathetic and, after nods and various agreements, they were back to being unnoticed again.   
  


"Hey, cut it out will ya? People are gonna think I'm abusing you or something." Tasuki said.   
  


"Nuriko-kun!" A bright cheerful voice called from the dance floor and Nuriko looked up sharply, wiping at this face.   
  


"Nuriko-kun!"   
  


Tasuki and Nuriko peered through the crowd searching for the owner of the voice then Nuriko brightened visibly.   
  


"Omi-chan!" He waved enthusiastically. Tasuki saw a young man wave back as he maneuvered towards them. He was medium height with short light brown hair, almost dark blond. He wore bright orange shorts with a black sleeveless crop top that left most of his midriff exposed. He looked much too young to be in a place like this let alone wear something like THAT.   
  


Omi reached them with an exhausted puff of air as he slumped down in the chair next to Nuriko. They embraced briefly before Nuriko turned to Tasuki.   
  


"Tasuki, this is my friend, Omi, the best hacker in the world. Omi, Tasuki." Tasuki nodded across the table and Omi beamed at him. Very friendly guy, thought the redhead.   
  


"Anou, not too loud, Nuriko-kun." He laughed modestly. "So nice to meet you, Tasuki-san."   
  


"No, just Tasuki." Tasuki groaned at the honorific and Omi smiled some more.

  
"So, Omi-chan, where IS he?" Nuriko looked around them curiously.   
  


Omi colored brightly, bad enough that Tasuki could see it in the poor light. "Anou, I lost him somewhere after he threw a guy out the back door." He dropped his head in shame.   
  


Nuriko's eyes widened with disbelief. "What?"   
  
Omi looked up and rolled his eyes. "He's worse than Aya-kun! He thinks that every guy is a pedophile and out to get me! Nuriko-kun, I'm 19 years old. And not everyone here is interested in me!"   
  


Nuriko laughed. "So he's jealous?"   
  


"No, just overprotective!"   
  


Tasuki waved down a waitress as they continued to chat excitedly. He ordered another round of drinks and as he turned back to his friends, a flash of something blue from a corner of the bar caught his attention. He turned sharply back and found the source immediately. It was long blue hair. It was light blue…cerulean blue…it was the strangest shade of blue Tasuki had ever seen. And yet it was the most familiar thing at the same time. An intense sense of nostalgia hit him like a physical blow and Tasuki gripped the table hard as he tried to catch his breath.   
  


Pale skin accentuated the surreal quality of the hair and Tasuki found himself drawn irresistibly towards the dark eyes partially covered by the delicate bang. They glinted with mild amusement as the man smiled seductively at Tasuki. The redhead could do nothing but stare back. His breath hitched in his throat and he actually wanted to smile back. What was this strange yearning he felt deep in his chest? He couldn't quite understand it since he had only felt that when he was with Chichiri. Why was he feeling this with a complete stranger?   
  


But Chichiri was a stranger too when Tasuki's heart had first hopped out of his chest. Didn't he love Chichiri? Was he really this fickle with men as well?   
  


"Ne, Tasuki!" Tasuki was brought back to the present when Nuriko nudged him none too gently. "Pay attention!" He turned and blinked uncomprehendingly at his braided friend and Nuriko rolled his eyes. "We're digging into Chichiri's shell for you and you spaced out?"   
  
"What about Chiri?" Tasuki frowned at Nuriko.   
  


Nuriko sighed. "Pay attention!" He said again. "Omi here found out that the Sunrise orphanage and the Starlight School was founded by none other than Chichiri. All records and activities are buried so deep that it took Omi nearly a week to find out."   
  
Tasuki looked from Nuriko to Omi in confusion. "Why are you doing this?"   
  
"You said you wanted to know more about him, Tas-chan!" Nuriko said in exasperation. "When you told me about his excursions the other day, I was curious. Isn't he great? All that money he made and most of it goes to running the two organizations. You know how much money it takes to run something like that? Oh my gods, he's my new hero!"   
  
"Who wants to remain anonymous." Omi told Nuriko with a meaningful look.   
  


"I know, I know, Omi-chan. I won't advertise it but it does tell us that Tasuki's love interest is a very good man." Nuriko wiggled happily in his seat while he purposely ignored the sputtering redhead.   
  


"If I had known you were investigating Ri-san, I might not have helped." Omi said uncomfortably. "He obviously went to a lot of trouble to keep this quiet. He had gone through so much." Omi looked so unhappy that Nuriko gave him a big hug.   
  


"We'll never hurt him, Omi-chan. Tasuki would rather die first. Ne, Tasuki?" Nuriko winked at the fuming Tasuki.   
  


"OMI!" A lanky blond came to stand next to Omi and glared down at Nuriko who still had his arms around the youngster. "I've looked everywhere for you!"   
  
Tasuki looked up and found piercing green eyes regarding them suspiciously over a pair of sunglasses.   
  


"Youji-kun, these are my friends. This is Nuriko and this is Tasuki. Guys, this is Youji, we…er…work together."   
  
"Youji!" Nuriko got up and hugged the surprised man. "I've heard so much about you! Won't you join us?"   
  
"Omi?" Youji disengaged himself uncertainly.   
  


"C'mon Youji-kun." Omi patted the chair next to him. "They really ARE my friends, and they're NOT pedophiles." He smiled happily at Youji.   
  


"…" Youji reluctantly allowed the young man to pull him into the chair. He glanced uneasily at Nuriko who continued to smile and blink innocently at him.   
  


"Enjoying yourself?" Nuriko asked the tall blond.   
  


"No." Youji said without hesitation.   
  


"Why don't you guys go dance?" Nuriko suggested as he looked from Youji to Omi.   
  


"Dance? With Omi?" Youji asked and looked at the blushing youngster. "No, no…no…Omitchi and I are NOT like that." Although Youji wasn't sure why the thought of dancing with Omi was quite appealing.   
  


"Well, I know some perverted looking guy who's been bugging Omi for a dance…" Nuriko trailed off looking around the room with apparent trepidation.   
  


Youji frowned, Tasuki rolled his eyes and Omi groaned.   
  


Before any of them could say anything else, the man with strange blue hair appeared at Omi's elbow. He was dressed in a cream colored shirt and black pants that fit his lean form perfectly. Tasuki swallowed and resisted the urge to stare at the man.   
  


"Excuse me." The stranger said loud enough to make Omi jump. The others turned towards him and before he could continue, Youji jumped up and grabbed Omi.   
  


"NO. He's dancing with me." Youji pulled Omi towards him and the younger man stumbled on the chair leg and crashed into the blond. Face flushed but quite contented, Omi remained still with his face pressed against Youji's chest.   
  


The man with the blue hair stared blankly at the pair and nodded. "Okay." His voice was deep yet soft. It sent shivers down the redhead's spine and Tasuki found he couldn't tear his eyes from the man.   
  


Youji nodded and pulled Omi onto the dance floor. Omi looked up briefly and smiled at Nuriko who gave him a cheerful two thumbs up.   
  


"Sorry, guy. The boy's taken." Nuriko smiled apologetically at the stranger.   
  


"That's okay, I was actually interested in this one." He pointed to Tasuki who promptly choked on his beer.   
  


"NaNI?!?" Tasuki squeaked, putting down his drink.   
  


"I was wondering if YOU would like to dance." The man asked while smiling openly at Tasuki's surprise.   
  


"Wai!" Nuriko squealed. "Of course he would!" He practically pushed the speechless Tasuki towards the stranger and moved from the table. "You know, I think I hear Hotohori calling me again." He said over his shoulder and he waved cheerily at them.   
  


Tasuki stared after his friend in horror. He didn't want to be alone with the man. Every time he looked into those mahogany eyes, he felt like he would get lost and never be found.   
  


Yet he wasn't sure he wanted to be found.   
  


The stranger laughed softly at his expression and extended his hand. "Maybe we should introduce ourselves first? I'm Zanshi."   
  


Tasuki took the extended hand hesitantly. "Zanshi…as in 'death'?" Why the hell would anyone name their kid that?   
  


'Zanshi' chuckled. "My parents had strange sense of humor. I'm sure your name is not as morbid?"   
  


Tasuki shook his head. "Tasuki."   
  


"The constellation. I like that very much." Zanshi still had a firm grip on Tasuki's hand and the redhead felt heat rising to his cheeks.   
  


Tasuki laughed nervously and pulled his hand free. "Yeah, well…must be hard making friends, huh?"   
  


Zanshi laughed again. "Surprisingly, no. A lot of people are actually very nice." He leaned in very close and spoke into Tasuki's ear. "Between you and me, I think they felt sorry for me."   
  


Tasuki shivered and closed his eyes when he caught the man's scent. Chichiri… He shook his head almost violently as images of Chichiri came unbidden to his mind.  Chichiri with his soft brown bangs and cold, hard eyes… _It's your imagination, he scolded himself. __You're just way too obsessed with the man.   
  
_

"You okay?" Zanshi asked.   
  


"Yeah. I'm fine." Tasuki reassured him then looked out onto the dance floor. "You really want to dance?"   
  


"Not really. I just wanted to meet you." Zanshi said with an apologetic smile. "I'm actually a very bad dancer. But I could try if you want to dance. That is, if you don't mind stubbed toes."   
  


Tasuki studied the man a few moments before he shook his head. "I didn't feel like dancing anyway. It was your idea to begin with." He pointed out.   
  


"True. Would you mind very much if we just sit and talk?" Zanshi pulled out the chair for Tasuki.   
  


They sat and Tasuki fidgeted with his beer, not sure of what to say. When he noticed that Zanshi did not have a drink he waved over the waitress.   
  


"Just water, please." Zanshi told the girl and Tasuki quirked an eyebrow at him. "I don't like what alcohol do to people. Well some people anyways." He added when he realized he might offend the beer drinker.   
  


"You mean getting drunk?" Tasuki teased. He was surprised to find that he was actually enjoying the man's company.   
  


Zanshi hesitated as he thought about what Tasuki said. "Yes, in effect, I suppose. Losing control of one's faculty is not my idea of fun."   
  
"Ah! Control issues. I know someone like that but you're not nearly as uptight." Tasuki bit his lips when he realized that he was thinking about Chichiri again.   
  


"Is he close to you?" Zanshi asked softly, eyes glinting curiously.   
  


"Um…not…really." Tasuki frowned as he thought about why that was. "He won't let me."   
  


Zanshi nodded knowingly. "I know someone like that too. He's just afraid."   
  
_'What are you afraid of, Chiri?'   
  
_

Tasuki looked sharply at Zanshi. "What makes you say that?"   
  


Zanshi shrugged. "He told me."   
  


_'You…'   
  
_

Tasuki shook his head to clear the image of his last conversation with Chichiri. "I don't believe it. It can't be me."   
  
"Excuse me?" Zanshi asked, confused.   
  


Tasuki groaned when he realized that he was talking to himself and the other man had no idea what he was talking about.   
  


"Sorry. I was just thinking."   
  


"About him?" Zanshi asked quietly. "He doesn't seem to make you happy, he doesn't deserve you."   
  


Tasuki shook his head vehemently. "You don't know him. He'd…suffered. He needs time. He needs me." Tasuki whispered the last sentence as if to himself.   
  


"What about you?" Zanshi asked as he leaned closer to Tasuki. "What do YOU need?"   
  


Tasuki gasped as Zanshi's lips brushed his ear. Unconsciously he leaned into the other man and closed his eyes. This feeling…it was so familiar…   
  
Zanshi took Tasuki's earlobe between his teeth and suckled gently. "Forget him." Zanshi urged as he slowly trailed his lips across Tasuki's cheek. He paused as his lips came to rest softly against Tasuki's. "I can give you everything you need. Forget him."   
  
Tasuki couldn't move. His heart hammered violently in his chest as Zanshi pulled him closer and devoured his mouth. The man drove his tongue between Tasuki's eager lips and caressed the inside of his mouth urgently. Tasuki moaned and shifted in his seat, trying to get even closer. His head screamed at him to stop but his body didn't listen. It wanted more of this man, of this feeling. This feeling…   
  
He felt loved. Why? Why couldn't he feel this when he was with Chichiri?   
  


Chichiri…   
  
Tasuki pulled away in shock. He had promised to wait for Chichiri and here he was practically in another man's lap. What the hell kind of a slut was he?   
  


"I'm sorry, I can't." Tasuki moved his chair farther away from Zanshi and grabbed his beer.   
  


"Can't or won't?" Zanshi asked softly.   
  


Tasuki looked sharply at Zanshi and found the man studying him intently. The conversation was reminding him more and more of what transpired between him and Chichiri earlier. Tasuki almost repeated what Chichiri had said but thought better of it. It did matter.   
  


"I won't." Tasuki said. "I really want to. I've only felt this…need, this feeling with one other man and he needs me to stick by him. He may not be ready yet, but I told him I'd wait."   
  
"Did you mean it?"   
  


"WHAT?" Tasuki nearly jumped out of the chair. THIS was getting freaky. '_Do you mean it? What you wrote?'   
  
"About waiting…how long will you wait?" Zanshi reached up and caressed a strand of fiery hair. "How long before you betray him as well?" The man asked softly as a cloud of sadness swept across his face.   
  
_

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Tasuki pulled away again and stood up. "What do you know about us?"   
  
Zanshi looked shaken briefly before he laughed lightly and shook his head. "I was thinking about me and my friend. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He got up and smiled at Tasuki. "If you meant what you said to him then he is very lucky indeed. It was a pleasure to meet you, Tasuki." With that, Zanshi turned and disappeared into the crowd leaving Tasuki feeling like he had just lost his best friend.   
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  


Chichiri sat silently in his room staring at the music notes and lyrics in his hand. Could he believe Tasuki? The song promised so much but dare he hope? Would Tasuki be there when Chichiri finally conquered his demon?   
  


The knock on the door brought him back from his thoughts and he put the notes away in his desk. Eiri. Chichiri frowned as he walked towards the door. What was Eiri doing here so late?   
  


Eiri Yuki stood in front of the door with a cardboard box in his hand. Chichiri blinked at his blond friend and couldn't help teasing him.   
  


"Shuuichi kicked you out?" A small smile played at the corner of Chichiri lips as Eiri rolled his eyes.   
  


"As if he could." The blond said in his usual hard tone. "These are yours." He added quietly.   
  


Chichiri frowned and moved aside for his friend to enter. He closed the door behind them and moved after Eiri as the man walked into his bedroom. Eiri put the box down on the small table in the corner of the room and turned towards his friend.   
  


"Ryuuichi wanted me to throw them away years ago but I couldn't." Eiri's voice was shaking slightly and he shoved his hands in his pants pocket before they too begin to shake. "I just…couldn't."   
  


Chichiri looked at his friend in concern. "What is it?" He didn't move any closer to the box but looked at it uneasily. What could possibly affect the unshakable Eiri Yuki?   
  


"Houjun, do you remember when I used to come and…see you…in that place?" Eiri asked, watching his friend carefully.   
  


Chichiri nodded, not comprehending the connection between the box and his hellish confinement.   
  


"When you were beginning to be aware of…things, you would make me drawings and you wrote poetry…you gave them to me when I visited you. I kept all of them." Eiri opened the box and pulled out loose sheets of paper.   
  


Chichiri moved dazedly towards the box. Splashes of colors and designs jumped at him from the pages and he took them from Eiri numbly. The first page was filled with a drawing of a large red bird with long feathers. The next was…more birds. And so were the next few pages…   
  


Chichiri looked up at Eiri and gave him a weak smile. "Did I have a bird fetish…or did you?"   
  


Eiri smiled back and shrugged. "You did seem to like that bird but there're others too." He dug into the box and took out more paper. Some of these, Chichiri noted, were not drawings but writings. They seemed to be poems about pain and suffering in general which combined with someone of his background, were quite common. Some were of love and finding one's destiny.   
  


Chichiri looked through several more drawings and poetry when he came across a drawing of a man. The other pages he was holding fell through nerveless fingers as he stared into laughing amber eyes. The man on the paper was wearing a dark long coat and dark pants tugged into black boots. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest, his head cocked to one side as he smiled out of the paper. That shocking bright hair and fanged grin could only belong to one person…Tasuki.   
  


Chichiri looked up at Eiri, shaking violently. "Is this some kind of a joke?"   
  
Eiri narrowed his eyes briefly before he shook his head. "No. Read what you wrote under the drawing. It's your handwriting, Houjun."   
  
Chichiri's eyes watered and he stared in disbelief as he read the short passage under the picture.   
  


_'I need you, more than you'll ever know_

_Just the thought of the taste of your lips gives me chills_

_How I've longed for your gentle caress_

_In your arms, hold you close, one more kiss'   
  
"I thought he looked familiar when I first saw him." Eiri said quietly. "I didn't make the connection until I saw the box in my closet this morning."   
  
_

Chichiri remained silent as he stared at the picture. Eiri moved closer to his friend and rested a hand on Chichiri's shoulder. Emotional display was not his forte but this was the man who held him when he had no one, trusted no one. This was the man that risked everything to protect him when no one else would.   
  


"Houjun." He said softly. "I know I write all that romantic crap and I don't believe a word of it. At least I didn't. Not until that crazy brat came into my life. I don't know if Tasuki is YOUR crazy brat but clearly he is…someone." He gripped the older man's shoulder tightly. "I'm the last person to tell you to let down your defenses, Houjun, but…I think this is way bigger than that."   
  


Chichiri reached up and clasped Eiri's hand on his shoulder as he looked up and gave his friend a smile. "Thank you, Eiri. I don't think I've ever told you how much I appreciated your support during that time." He looked at the picture again and nodded as he came to a decision. "I think I will let him in, no da…" He said softly.   
  


"You better." Eiri threatened as he walked towards the front door. "It's either the loudmouth redhead or I'm going to have to start looking for a very big, red bird."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


_The passage under the picture of Tasuki is an excerpt from Bosanova, Casanova. A Ran/Ken Duet.   
Check out the translation on amimelyrics.com…so damn romantic!_

How did you like Zanshi? There're many words that means death but I like 'Zanshi'…and I'm keeping Tasuki as the constellation.  I'm not sure how accurate that is.

Thank you for reading!             


	9. The Loose Ends

**_Author's notes and warnings:_**  Hi everybody!  Sorry this chapter took so long but I hope you like it enough to forgive me, ne?  I love happy endings so I can't possible leave some of these characters hanging…hence…this chapter.

I know that K is supposed to be married but there's no indication at all in the anime so it's going to be just a rumor for this story.  I hope you guys are okay with what I have in mind for him…I do like to pair strange people together, ne?

Sorry, no lemon but I'm working on a Tohma/Ryuuichi lemon for the next chapter, okay?  

**_ARIGATOU, h_****_itari-chan!  Your beta work is awesome as usual!!!_**

Hugs and Pocky to all my reviewers!!!

**Sakata**: Arigatou! Sorry I took so long but I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!  I do have a few more ideas I want to write…I wish I had more hands and more computers…

**Eeyaatoe**: I'm having a wonderful new year, thank you!  I'm so glad you like the last chapter, I hope I don't disappoint in this one.  Thank you for you review!

**Tricia**: Oooh, I'm blushing!  Thank you for your kind comments!  The temperatures rises a few degrees where I'm writing too.  LOL.

**Midori** **Himura**: Zanshi?  What Zanshi?  *grins*  Do you like him?  Thanks for reviewing, Midori, it means a lot to me!  I've been meaning to get to your Kenshin fics but haven't had the chance.  I did read a couple of your Weiss stories…very nice…

**Xellas** **M**.: LOL. *tosses a lifesaver into the puddle of drool*  daijoubu? Thanks for always being so supportive!  Hugs and blessings!!!

**Zen**: Arigatou, no da… I hope you like this one just as passionately!

**Hitari**-**chan**: I love your drawings!  You are soooo very, very good!  Thanks for everything, sweetie!  Hugs!!

**Shadow** **Priestess**: LOL, I'm writing as fast as my poor little brain can handle…but I'll try harder, I promise!  Thanks for your review and I'm really glad you like Zanshi.  

**Bitter** **Silence**: I hope you don't still have problems logging in?  I wouldn't want you to miss this chapter!  Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Lady** **Pyrrha**: Thank you for your review!  I know Tasuki is happy too that Chichiri's finally coming around, ne?

**A** **smiling** **fool**: *giggles* Magical chicken?  Don't let Suzaku hear you say that! But could you just imagine Yuki looking around for one? Thank you for reviewing!

**Tiger** **Blak**: Aiya! Can't write if I'm beaten to the ground, no daaaaa…but I did manage to get another chapter out.  Sorry, the lemonade is for the next chapter.  Thank you!

**Chasuka**: ~.~  Arigatou, na no da!!!!  I'm really glad you like the story!  I have to admit I was worried in the beginning, there are so many more characters to write with but everyone has been so kind.  Their continual support feeds my muse, no da!  Thanks again!

**Donhisiewen**:  It's coming, it's coming!  Thanks for your comments!

**Kawaii**: Wai!  Was that a pun, Kawaii-chan?  *giggles*  You're more right than you think but that's for another chapter, ne?  Thanks for your continual support!!!  Hugs!  

The usual disclaimer goes here.  ^^;

Enjoy!

**_Songs Of The Heart _**_– Chapter 9_**_:__ The Loose Ends___**

By Moonraven   
  
"**_WHAT!?!_"   
  
**

A well-manicured hand slammed down violently on Tohma's desk, missing his own hand by less than an inch. Involuntarily, the blond flinched back and pulled his endangered digits off the mahogany top and onto his lap.   
  


"You can't be serious!" Mika leaned over the desk and glared at her husband. "You want a divorce so you can screw Ryuuichi? Can't you just do it without a divorce? And it's…been years! I thought you had that…that itch under control!" Mika threw up her hands in exasperation and whirled around to face K who had been surreptitiously admiring the woman's well-shaped rump as she bend over the desk. Not much left to the imagination when the object of his scrutiny wore her red leather skirt so tight…   
  


"You!" She advanced on K, pointing her index finger menacingly at him. "It's YOUR doing!"   
  


K stepped back, trying to get away from the furious flash in her eyes, and found he couldn't. He was already leaning against the wall to begin with. He pulled himself up to his full height and gave her his best 'who, me?' look.   
  


"Yes, you!" Mika stopped in front of him and jabbed his chest with her finger. "That's why you brought him back, wasn't it?"   
  


"Tohma wanted him back, not me!" K protested. "**_HE_** called, wanting Nittle Grasper to be reunited. Honest!" He held up his hand defensively. "Tell her, Tohma." He looked past her to the frowning blond sitting behind the desk.   
  


Mika whirled back to her husband, her long hair whipping K's face and he inhaled the unexpected soft scent of her perfume. He rather liked it. It was very different from the strong and mostly violent nature of the woman who took their quiet morning and turned it into a mini war.   
  


"I WILL not be made a fool of!" She put her hands on her hips. "What would people say when they find out you left me for a MAN?" She was sounding less angry and more helpless. "Dad would have a fit especially with Eiri being with that kid and now I can't keep my husband. But to lose him to another man! How do you expect me to condone this?" She glared her question at her quiet husband.   
  


"I have an idea." K leaned forward and said softly into her ear. She was still so close that he could feel the angry heat radiating from her. "Oof!"   
  


Mika elbowed him in the ribs. K rubbed his bruised side with a small smile. Damn it if he didn't like rough women. If only she'd pull a gun on him…   
  


"Like I'd listen to YOU!" She barked at him and walked back to sit crossed leg on Tohma's desk.   
  


K swallowed hard as he watched the curves of her strong legs beckon him closer. Damn it if he didn't LOVE rough women in mini skirts.   
  


"I think K's idea has merit." Tohma spoke for the first time in a long time. He got up and came to stand next to his sulking wife. "Ma, Mika-san, you know I love you and would always take care of you. It's just…"   
  


"…that you don't love me like you love Ryuuichi. I know, I know!" She waved her hand dismissively. "And what of Eiri? Are you sure you're over him?" She peered at the blond shrewdly. "You know what they say about things you can't have…it makes you want it even more. And you've never had Eiri."   
  


"And I never will. I'm alright with that. I love Ryuuichi and I only want him. It's about time I make him happy." He took her hands in his and kissed her knuckles gently. "Be happy for me, Mika."   
  


Mika sighed in resignation. "I am. But I don't want to be replaced by an imbalanced juvenile even if he's the hottest rock legend of our time!" She pulled her hands away and pouted.   
  


"Then I suggest you dump him first." K's quiet voice chimed in as he walked towards them.   
  


"Hmph! Who's going to believe me? Why on earth would I leave HIM?" She swept her hand dramatically in Tohma's direction. "Do you know how many women AND men out there are dying to get their claws on him? He's got the looks, the talent, AND the money! Whom would I ever leave him for?" Mika challenged K from her position on the desk.   
  


K stopped right in front of her and smiled into her sparkling eyes. "Someone younger and better looking." K said. "That Hotohori is quite a catc---Ack!"   
  


Mika grabbed his collar and shook him violently. "He's a kid!" She screeched.   
  


"Maa, maa, Mika-san." Tohma disengaged K from his wife and pushed the tall blond a couple of paces back, out of reach. "How about K-san?"   
  


"**_WHAT!?!_" This time the windows shook as her voice reverberated around the room. "Are you **_CRAZY_**? Do I need to make a list of why this is a **_BAD _**idea?" Mika hopped of the desk, placed one hand on her hips as she ticked off K's shortcomings with the other hand. "He's a fucking nutcase with trigger-happy fingers. NO ONE I know can get a license to own firearms but he's got a goddamn armory at his house! He's a fucking foreigner who can't even speak English well. I've heard rumors that he has a wife and kid in the States and on top of that, he's…he's…" She looked K up and down in hope that some adjectives would help her out. "…got a really bad fashion sense!" She turned her flashing eyes to K and scowled. "Aren't you going to say anything?"   
  
Stunned as K was at Tohma's suggestion, he couldn't get his protest in edgewise. Mika, it seemed, had it all covered. Not that he would protest very strongly…   
  
"Mika-san." This time it was Tohma who had to disengage himself from her death grip. "It makes perfect sense since you've been seen in public together many times." He quickly moved himself from her reach. "I know they were all in innocence but it wouldn't seem so incredible for you to transfer your affections to K. After all, he's good looking AND a pretty influential guy in the States." Tohma suppressed a smile as he recalled the honorary winner of the Bad Luck Fangirl Contest. "Francheska seems to think so."   
  
"Then Francheska can have him!" She retorted.   
  
**

"No, no, a little too young…and that wouldn't help us, would it?" K said with some amusement from where he stood – well to the side.   
  


Mika took several deep breaths and tried a different approach. "How can you possibly expect someone as delicate as me to be seen with someone as violent as HIM?" She cocked her head at her current husband.   
  


At the word delicate, K went into a fit of laughter. "Delicate?" He grabbed his middle and nearly doubled over. "Who was it that drove her car THROUGH the wall of the rehearsal hall to get to Shuuichi? Who was it that dragged him out by the collar? Oh, oh, and remember that little incident last month when someone commented on Tatsuha's crush on Ryuuichi? Whatever happened to the guy's face anyway?" K tapped his chin in mock concentration. "Oh, yeah, your fist connected with it! Delicate, my ass!" He fell over into the armchair next to the desk, wiping tears off his face.   
  


Mika glared daggers at him but remained silent. Then she too broke out laughing. She had to admit; delicate wasn't what she would normally describe herself either.   
  


Tohma, who had been holding his breath, let it out in one huge sigh and smiled in relief. No dead bodies to remove after all.   
  


When Mika was controlled enough to make coherent sentences she turned mischievous eyes towards her would be 'boyfriend'. "Alright, I can see the fun in this but I agree on one condition."   
  


"Only one?" Tohma and K asked simultaneously.   
  


Mika gave them both a half-hearted glare and batted her eyes innocently. "Just one."   
  


K swallowed as experience told him that particular look normally spelled trouble…with a capital t.   
  


Mika gave him a sultry smile, as she looked meaningfully at him. "I get to play with your guns whenever I want."   
  


"My…g-guns?" K stuttered, blushing deep red as Mika's eyes swept downward.   
  


"Hmm…" She nodded after she was done with the 'inspection'.   
  


"Okay." Squeaked the tall and robust blond as he wondered what he had gotten himself into.   
  


At this point, Tohma wasn't sure if this was such a good idea either. Mika with guns? Was Tokyo ready for this?   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


Later that evening…   
  
As Tohma cleared his desk and prepared to leave the office, his eyes lingered on an old photograph of Ryuuichi he had hidden away in one of the drawers. He pulled it out and settled back in his chair, gazing at it with a small smile. Ryuuichi smiled back from the worn page and Tohma found himself tracing the delicate line of his former lover's face. It was taken years ago, before the mess with Eiri had started; yet Tohma could remember every detail as if it was last week.   
  


Ryuuichi had wanted Tohma to get away from work and relax so they went to a small seaside cabin owned by the singer. Workaholic Tohma had his doubts but he went with his lover nonetheless. They did nothing all day but lie in the sun and make love. That day held one of the most beautiful memories he had of his life with Ryuuichi. Not three weeks later, Eiri had entered their lives and changed everything.   
  


Beautiful Eiri with his laughing golden eyes and tousled blond hair, mesmerized Tohma and the older man couldn't get the spirited teen out of his mind.   
  


Beautiful Eiri who was staring at him now…   
  


"Wha..? Eiri-san." Tohma's chair tilted back dangerously in his astonishment at seeing the younger man. "What are you doing here?" He hastily put Ryuuichi's picture back in the drawer and closed it.   
  


"I knocked but you didn't answer." Typical Eiri Yuki answer, which didn't answer anything at all.   
  


"Uh…gomen. I was…occupied." Tohma smiled at the taller blond and asked again. "What brings you here."   
  


Eiri gave him an amused look and glanced pointedly at the closed drawer. "I noticed."   
  


Tohma sighed. What did he expect? Eiri will tell him when Eiri is good and ready. So Tohma folded his hands in front of him on his desk and waited patiently.   
  


Eiri continued to study him and after what seemed like a long time, frowned. "Mika said you wanted a divorce."   
  
"Ah…I thought she wanted to keep it quiet for fear of ridicule." Tohma said. "Are you here to change my mind?"   
  


Eiri's eyes narrowed slightly at Tohma. "Can I?"   
  
His voice held a trace of something Tohma had never thought he would hear from the tall brooding man. The small blond frowned at Eiri and got up. "What are you up to Eiri-san?" He asked softly. "Did Mika put you up to this? We had discussed this earlier and she seemed satisfied with the arrangement."   
  


Eiri shoved his hands in his trouser pockets and continued to study the smaller man. "Mika doesn't know I'm here. I want to ask you if you are sure."   
  


Tohma's frown deepened and he looked at the taller man uncomprehendingly. "I don't understand what this has to do with you, Eiri-san. Your sister is fine with it and I wouldn't be asking for it if I'm not sure."   
  


"So…you were sure you did the right thing when you broke Ryuuichi's heart some years ago?" Eiri asked dryly.   
  


"Eiri…" Tohma didn't know what to say. 6 years ago he wasn't thinking. Had he been thinking, he would never have done what he did. Too many people paid for his mistake and he was not going to let that happen again.   
  


"I know what you want, Tohma. If I give it to you, would you forget about Ryuuichi?" Eiri asked softly as he rounded the table and came towards the gaping Tohma.   
  


"Na…ni?" The smaller man moved backwards, away from the advancing blond. "What's gotten into you, Eiri-san?"   
  


Tohma managed to get around the table and was standing in front of it with Eiri standing where Tohma was, behind the desk.   
  


Eiri gave Tohma one of his rare smiles, the one that could melt anything into a puddle of goo. "Have you ever taken anything for granted, thinking that it would always be there?" Eiri asked as he came towards Tohma again. "Have you ever taken **_anyone_** for granted, Tohma-kun?"   
  


Tohma swallowed and nodded. Ryuuichi…   
  


"I'm afraid I've taken you for granted, Tohma-kun." Eiri nearly purred. Tohma swallowed again and began backing away but Eiri's hand came up and caught his upper arm in a firm grip. "And now that you're going back to Ryuuichi, I feel…cheated."   
  


"Cheated?" Tohma asked, incredulous. "How…cheated?"   
  
Eiri pulled the unresisting blond to him and pressed his lips gently on Tohma's. "Isn't this what you wanted?" He asked as he trailed his lips along the stunned Tohma's jaw line and down his neck. "And this?" Eiri nibbled the graceful neck gently as his hand roamed the smaller man's back. "God, you taste good." He muttered as he found Tohma's mouth again.   
  


Tohma was flabbergasted. He was beyond thoughts and speech of any kind as the taller man plundered his mouth. Who was this again? This can't possibly be the indifferent Eiri Yuki that he had chased half way across the world. That man didn't give two yen about him so why was his double pulling Tohma's shirt off?   
  


**_NANI !?!_**   
  


Eiri Yuki was indeed pushing Tohma's shirt off his shoulders and kissing the creamy skin under the shirt. Tohma came to his senses with a choking cry and he pushed Eiri off him.   
  


"Eiri-san!" He moved away as he pulled his shirt in place. When did THAT happen?   
  


Eiri leaned back casually on the edge of the desk and observed Tohma calmly. "Wasn't that what you wanted?" He asked mildly.   
  


"No. Yes…but not now." Tohma shook his head, disgusted with himself. "I meant not anymore.  Eiri, that was a mistake and it happened a long time ago." He looked the younger man in the eye. "I do…care about you and I thought that I had wanted…this." He waved his hands at the taller man. "I was wrong. I only want **_this_** with one person but I didn't realize it at the time and I nearly destroyed him. Now that I have a chance to make him happy, I can't fail him again."   
  


Eiri continued to look at him silently, his expression unreadable. Then he said softly, "He doesn't have to know."   
  
Tohma gaped at Eiri in horror. "I can't. And what about Shu-chan? I thought that you love him. How could you suggest this?"   
  


Eiri shrugged elegantly. "What they don't know won't hurt them. This way everybody wins."   
  


"Everybody? No." Tohma said firmly, shaking his head. "I won't do that to Ryuuichi even if you could do it to Shuuichi."   
  


Eiri got off the desk and sauntered towards Tohma with a small smile. "A last fling then." He suggested silkily. "Since you're so bent on being faithful to Ryu-chan, why not have one last screw before you can't?" He reached behind Tohma and caressed the blonde's rear suggestively. "I could give you what you've been wanting all these years." He whispered into Tohma's ear. "What you will never have again. Aren't you curious?"   
  


Tohma was almost tempted. Who would know? Eiri would never tell…   
  
He would know. He would never be worthy of Ryuuichi again. Ever.   
  


Tohma moved Eiri's hand and stepped back from the taller man. "Curious? Yes, I suppose I am." He smiled at Eiri. "But not enough to betray Ryu-chan again. Never again."   
  
"You love him that much?" Eiri asked as he watched Tohma intently.   
  


"Yes. More than anything." Tohma's smile got brighter and his eyes sparkled at the thought of his one time lover.   
  


"Enough to give up Nittle Grasper or NG Label for him?" Eiri asked quietly.   
  


"Yes. If Mika insists on it I would give it all up." He tilted his chin up defiantly. "Ryu-chan and I started it all and we can do it again if we want to. All I want is to be with him."   
  


Eiri narrowed his eyes and studied the smaller man in front of him. Then nodded as if satisfied.   
  


"Alright then, have a good night." He said and headed for the door.   
  


"What…? Eiri-san, wait a minute…" Tohma called after the retreating back. THAT didn't make sense.   
  


Eiri turned an amused glance at the other man. "Changed your mind already?"   
  


"NO." Tohma blushed hotly. "What are you doing?"  He asked as the taller man turned towards the door once again.

Eiri turned to face the smaller man with an irritated sigh. "I want you, you don't want me, and so I'm leaving. Was that difficult?"   
  


Tohma gritted his teeth and glared at the man. While he was glad that Eiri the bastard had returned, he didn't appreciate being made a fool of.   
  


"THAT was not difficult. What I don't understand is WHY you want me at all after all this time? Or DO you?" He squinted at the brooding blond as he tried to understand Eiri's motives.   
  


"I did and you don't." Eiri shrugged. "So why don't you go home to someone you DO want, ja!" With a wave of his hand, Eiri Yuki was gone.   
  


Tohma blinked at the closed door as he leaned heavily against his desk.  Was Eiri…testing HIM? He shook his head, bewildered. Then he smiled as realized that he had just passed the test with flying colors. He WILL be going home to Ryuuichi after all.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


"Tasuki-kun! You have a visitor in meeting room B." A voice blared through the speaker and Tasuki nearly dropped the guitar he was tuning.   
  


"Hai!" Tasuki yelled up at the speaker in the ceiling. He gave Hiro an apologetic look as he put down his guitar. "Be back in a few!" He yelled over his shoulder as he left the rehearsal hall.   
  


He had been working with Hiro Nakano all morning, trying to get their equipment ready for Tasuki's first concert since he came under NG Label's wings. Bad Luck was going to join in the fun to show the goodwill among the bands under NG's domain.   
  


Tasuki found meeting room B, knocked a few times and went in without waiting for permission. Hey, he was a busy man. What he hadn't expected was the tall figure standing by the window.   
  


Tasuki stared hard at the man before a scowl appeared on his face. "What the hell do you want?" He did not come further into the room but remained in the doorway with one hand on the knob, ready to shut the door in the man's face if he didn't like the answer.   
  


Daisuke did not move from his place by the window but he gave the younger man a small smile. "First of all, I would like to apologize for the other day. I…I was…overwhelmed and I behaved badly." He bowed low. "Gomen nasai." Daisuke straightened up and continued. "I would like the opportunity to apologize to Houjun as well but he disappeared again. I don't blame him but I would like to see him." He looked uncertainly at Tasuki and the redhead moved into the room and closed the door behind him.   
  


Tasuki sat heavily in one of the chairs, his eyes trained steadily on the tall man. "And you came here because…?" Tasuki knew he was not being helpful but he couldn't think of any reason why he would want this psycho to see the man he loved.   
  


Daisuke sighed and moved to sit on the chair next to Tasuki. "I couldn't find him and one of my friends recognized you. So I came to ask you for help."   
  


Tasuki raised his brows and snorted. "The hell you say."   
  


"I won't hurt him." Daisuke said quickly. "I just need to talk to him. I need to know…things." He sounded almost desperate as he continued. "There are things unresolved between us and…" Daisuke paused as if he worried he had said too much. "I know you're together now, that's not what I'm after." He added quickly. "It's just that things are…well…we've never really said good bye." His voice trailed off and he looked away from Tasuki. "I really did love him at one time." He added softly.   
  


Tasuki chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully as he watched Daisuke. The man still hadn't gotten over Chichiri.   
  


"You still have feelings for him." He said quietly.   
  


Daisuke turned and gave Tasuki a sardonic smile. "You know Houjun. It's hard to get over him even when…well I won't go into that. But you needn't worry. I'm with someone else now as well. But I think that Houjun and I need to get past this."   
  


"I agree but…you threatened to kill him, man. And after that episode at the cemetery, Ch—Houjun got really sick and depressed. I won't have that happen to him again."   
  


There was a long pause between them, and then Daisuke spoke in a low voice. "Will you at least tell him what I said? That I'm willing to forgive him if only he would talk to me and help me understand."   
  


"I don't think even HE understood what happened. I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you." Tasuki advised lightly. "It was a traumatic time for him and his mind sometimes shuts down when he's distressed. You knew him as well; you know that the person he's blaming for this is himself. He really doesn't need you or anybody else throwing it at him."   
  
"It's easy to be understanding when you haven't lost anything, Tasuki. I tried to understand. He ran away. I waited for him to come to me after they released him from the institute but he never came. For most of those three years, we didn't know what happened to him. Some said he was dead, some said he was in prison while others said he was in a mad house. Do you know how that feels? When I found out what happened and that he was coming home, I waited in front of his old house. By that time his parents were dead and I had wanted to be the first person he saw. Even when I thought he killed Hikou, I had wanted to comfort him when he found out about his parents. But he never came. I left messages everywhere for him to come see me, still he never came. It was as if I didn't exist. I didn't matter. What I felt meant nothing to him. How would you feel Tasuki?"   
  


"He was afraid." Tasuki said. "And from what I saw at the cemetery, he had every right to be."   
  


"I was angry." Daisuke sighed. "I haven't seen him in ten years and he's with another man at my brother's grave. I went a little nuts."   
  


"A little?" Tasuki laughed mirthlessly. "Try a lot! What changed your mind? What make you so understanding now?"   
  


Daisuke shrugged. "I don't know…but that day…after you left, I felt really sad. But it wasn't my sadness; it was as if I could feel Houjun's pain. I can't explain it, it's too damn weird but…it had gotten me thinking and…now I need to see him. Finally talk to him."   
  
"There's a lot of pain hidden deep inside that man." Tasuki agreed quietly. "Look, I'll talk to him but I can't promise nothing. Just give him some time, okay?"   
  
Daisuke brightened and bowed his head again. "Thank you, Tasuki. Thank you. That's all I ask." He got up and handed Tasuki a card. "You could reach me at one of those numbers. You won't regret this, I promise."   
  
Tasuki got up and both men shook hands. Daisuke left the room with a relieved smile on his face while Tasuki sported a worried frown. How was he supposed to tell Chichiri this? Tasuki groaned at the thought but he pushed it aside. Right now he had to finish the equipment check with Hiro.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  


The next day…   
  
"I'm gonna kill that Nuriko!" Tasuki grumbled as he stared at his reflection. He was currently clad in Nuriko's latest idea for a costume for his upcoming concert. The tight black T-shirt with mock sleeves was adorned with numerous slashes, exposing more of the redhead than not. His tight red leather pants weren't in a much better shape. His only thanks were that the crotch area remained intact, nothing hanging out there. He thanked whatever deity watching, for small favors.   
  


"What the fuck kind of a costume is this?" Tasuki swiveled in front of the full-length mirror in the makeshift dressing room next to their recording studio. "I'm gonna fucking kill him."   
  


"I don't know…Personally, I think it could use a few more…ventilations."   
  


Tasuki groaned at the sound of the silky voice and turned to see Chichiri leaning casually against the closed door with his arms crossed. The man was surveying him critically with a mild expression. His brown eye rested pointedly at Tasuki's groin and he nodded firmly. "Yes, at least one more…"   
  


"Fuck you." Tasuki growled and turned away, red faced from the scrutinizing stare but found the man's reflection laughing at him.   
  


"I could arrange that." Chichiri said suggestively. His eye roamed Tasuki hungrily but he remained relaxed by the door.   
  


Tasuki narrowed his eyes at the reflection before shaking his head. "How'd you get in here?"   
  
"Through the door." Chichiri's slim shoulders shrugged indifferently.   
  


"It was locked. Don't tell me you have keys to every room." Tasuki was sure he locked it especially since he was changing.   
  


"It was opened."   
  


"Bullshit! I wouldn't be surprised if you picked the lock or somethin'." His mind was leaning towards the 'something'. There were just too many unexplained incidents with Chichiri for it to simply be a coincidence.   
  


"Tsk, tsk…such language." The older man observed mildly.   
  


"What, are you my mother now?" Tasuki scowled as he pulled the questionable shirt over his head. He heard a sharp intake of breath by the door and he wondered if it was a good idea to do that just now.   
  


"I doubt that your mother would be feeling what I'm feeling right now." Chichiri muttered under his breath. He watched as Tasuki hastily pulled on a white T-shirt and looked away before the redhead could see the longing in his eye.   
  


"Did you want something, Chiri?" He asked quietly as he watched the solemn man in the mirror's reflection. "Because if you don't, I'd like to change."   
  
  


Chichiri smiled a sad little smile as he looked at Tasuki's reflection. "I want a great many things, Tasuki. I'm just not destined to get them." He pushed off the wall and came towards the redhead. "Your shirt for instance. I wanted it off but you went and put it on." He gave Tasuki a sardonic smile and shrugged. "I just can't win."   
  


"You didn't want to win…you didn't want me." Tasuki said hoarsely. His throat tightened uncomfortably as he looked into Chichiri's eye.   
  


"No, I wanted you alright. I just don't…want to love you." Chichiri pulled Tasuki flush against him so that the redhead could feel just how much he was wanted.   
  


"You don't want to…but you do…?" Tasuki asked breathlessly, hope shining in his amber eyes.   
  


"You said you'd wait…for how long, Tasuki?" Chichiri asked softly.   
  


_How long before you betray him as well?_ Zanshi's question came back to Tasuki's mind and he shook his head mentally. There was something about Zanshi and Chichiri…he just couldn't put his finger on it.   
  


"As long as it takes."   
  


Chichiri looked away with a small frown. "Forever?" He whispered.   
  


"If need be."   
  


Chichiri snorted derisively. "You're not that patient."   
  


"This has nothing to do with patience, Chiri." He reached over to cup Chichiri's chin and turned the other man's face towards him. He looked deep into the uncertain brown eye and smiled. "It has everything to do with love."   
  


"How can you be sure?" Chichiri asked softly. "You're so young…what do you know of love?" He reached between Tasuki legs and rubbed the redhead's crotch. "This isn't love. It's lust."   
  
Tasuki pressed harder into the older man's hand and smirked. "Oh, I know what it is. That's not all I feel, Chiri." He took Chichiri's other hand and pressed it to his heart. "Do you know how I feel when I look at you? What I see?" Tasuki asked, looking deeply into the brown eye.   
  


Chichiri shook his head mutely.   
  


"I see someone I was waiting for all my life." Tasuki said earnestly. "You take my breath away, Chiri, since the first time I laid eyes on you. I didn't know what it was; I had never felt anything like it. You make me ache just looking at you and the aching is in my heart." Tasuki rubbed Chichiri's hand in small circles over his heart. Then he gave Chichiri a mischievous fanged grin. "Okay, so it's in my fucking pants too but that's because you're so fucking hot." Then he turned serious again and cupped Chichiri's cheek. "You try to be so cold and heartless but I could feel the uncertainty and fear you buried deep inside. When you talked to Shuuichi or Sakuma-san, I can see the gentleness you tried so hard to hide. I saw your compassion when you gave your lunch to that old man on the street and then you took him to the shelter that you're funding."   
  


At this, Chichiri protested and made an effort to pull away but Tasuki held him tight.   
  


"Yes, I know about your little secrets, Chiri, but they're safe with me. I love you even more for them." Tasuki brought the hand held over his heart to his lips and kissed Chichiri's knuckles softly. "You made me cry when I saw you with the kids at the orphanage, you know that?"   
  


Chichiri frowned, shaking his head, his mouth hung open as he listen to Tasuki's confessions.   
  


"They love you so much and it's not because you gave them money. They don't know any of that. You spend time with them and played with them and you did those incredible magic tricks for them. Oh, by the way, we need to talk about getting that show on the road! It was awesome!"   
  


Chichiri blinked uncomprehendingly at the redhead. He knew that Tasuki followed him but he had no idea the younger man saw so much.   
  


"Even Daisuke still loves you, in his own way." Tasuki said softly.   
  


Chichiri frowned at Tasuki in confusion. "Death threats are declarations of love where you came from?" He asked.   
  


Tasuki chuckled and kissed Chichiri's nose lightly. "No, but he came and talked to me yesterday. He's looking for you because he wanted to talk to you. No pain, he promised."   
  


"I'm not afraid of pain. They're all the same to me." Chichiri said distractedly.   
  


"He's really sorry, Chiri. It seemed that you'd hurt him more than you think. He actually thought that you'd deserted him, that you didn't love him. That's why you never went back to see him."   
  


"I didn't deserve him. That's why I never went back." Chichiri said quietly. "Just like I don't deserve you."   
  


"Bullshit." Tasuki said softly. "If other people can forgive you, why can't you forgive yourself?"   
  


"People hadn't forgiven me, Tasuki. Some of them had just forgotten."   
  


"Then you too can forget." Tasuki tightened his hold on the man. "You don't have to be strong for the people you love any more, Chiri. You don't have to worry about Ryuuichi anymore because Seguchi-san will take care of him for you. You don't have to worry about Yuki because he's one hell of a bastard and can take care of himself. You just have to be Chichiri and let me take care of you. Let me love you, Chiri. Please…"   
  


"Tasuki…" Chichiri whispered. He was so choked up he couldn't form the words to express his feelings. Tears gathered in his eye and fell down his cheek, as he looked deep into the smoldering amber pools of Tasuki's eyes. How could he deny the younger man anything?   
  


"I dreamed about you." Chichiri said softly as Tasuki gently brushed away his tears. "I've waited for you too, Tasuki and when I'm ready, we'll be together. I promise."   
  
"I said I would wait, Chiri, didn't I?"   
  
"Yes."  Chichiri caressed Tasuki's cheek gently.  "Just give me a little more time then I will come to you." Chichiri pulled Tasuki in and sealed his promise with a deep, lingering kiss.   
  


TBC…   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Did you like?  Please let me know.  There will be maybe two more chapters and this story should be done.  I have a few more ideas I'm working on…a Weiss cross over is one and one ore two other Chi/Tas storylines.  I hope you guys will be around for those, ne?  Hugs and blessings to all of you!

Next chapter:  Tohma and Ryuuichi lemon…the boys were waiting oh so patiently.  I can't disappoint, can I.  There will also be more Nuriko and Hotohori…


	10. The Redemption

**_Author's notes and Warning_****:**  Gomen, gomen, it took so long no da.  If you've read Love Lies Waiting then you know why, ne?  

This chapter is a little sad at the end but please keep in mind that I will make it all better!

Tohma/Ryuuichi lemon with lots and lots of honey!  I tell you the sap here will kill you!  Hints of Hotohori/Nuriko -sap. I'm sorry I couldn't give them more time…  Tasuki/Chichiri…well, you'll see…

Special thanks to all my reviewers and to _Hitari-chan_ for her fantastic beta work.  Arigatou, no da!

**Midori Natari Himura:** Nah, Eiri loves his Shu-chan way too much!  He felt bad for being the cause of the T/R break-up and wanted to make sure that Tohma won't do it again…  As for Zanshi, well…let's just say he's irrevocably tied to Chichiri, no da…  Thank you for your review!!!

**TigerBlak:** *blushes* Thank you!  I'm so glad you liked the story!  Aiya!  I can't wait for the Gravitation manga, no daaaaa….

**Shadow** **Priestess**: Zanshi will definitely appear again before the fic is done… and daaaa, I'm writing, I'm writing!  Thank you!

**Carmerethiel**: What a beautiful name…um…lady Pyrrha? Arigatou!

**Maggs**: LOL, that's all I need, no da…your parents beating me to a pulp!  Here's a chapter, read quick and go do you homework, okay!  Thank you!!

**Eeyaatoe**: Awww….*blushes and spins around*  You're so sweet!  Thank you for your review.  I hope you love this chapter too, though I'm not so sure…

**Xellas** **M.**: I'm so glad you like Mika and K, I do think they are perfect for each other!  As for Daisuke, rest assure he won't be a trouble maker…I have something else in mind for Chichiri…I think you know what it is… Arigatou and a great big hug!  Thanks for your input when I was writing Love Lies Waiting…I didn't get a chance to tell you then…  While I'm at it, thanks for your input for this chapter as well…your opinions mean tons to me! (((HUG))) and more (((HUG)))

**Keimei**: Zanshi…*giggles* I'm glad people like him, it'd be really weird if you guys don't, no da…*looks around whistling innocently* And Eiri IS just testing Tohma-kun.  He's really not such a bad guy… well, not in MY fic anyway.  Thanks for your comments!

**Kawaii**: Ah…thank you for the well wishes! I hope YOU had a great Chinese New Year?  February 2 is Imbolc, a pagan holiday.  I celebrated then, no da…  Thank you for your nice review.  I'm so glad you're still sticking with my stories…makes writing worthwhile, no da…

**Zen**: On Mika and K?  My thoughts exactly!    Ah, Eiri is not a bastard this time, ne?  He's a good little boy, which reminds me, he needs more lime, no da…   Arigatou!

**Sakata**: I hope you are doing better? Thanks for your continual support, it's so awfully appreciated.  And looking forward to your stories, as always, no da.

**Ryogazgal**: ROFL.  What can I say?  I loved all your reviews, no da!  Thank you very much!  BTW, what are you planning for Riho? Writing in a Chi/Tas romance maybe?  Ne? Ne?

**Hitari-chan**: *glomps Hitari-chan*  I wuv you!!!!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  Um…about that fanart…*wink wink*

**Mikazuki**: I know it could be puzzling if you're not familiar with an anime, that's so sweet of you to read and review!  Arigatou, no da!

**Ayako:** Thank you for your review…um both of them, no da!  And you're so right; NO ONE can resist Ryu-chan, ne?  Thanks again!

I would also like to thank **Sakata, TigerBlak, Kawaii, Mikazuki, Xellas, Keimei, Ryogazgal, Chatterbox, Kouryou Sanome, Dawn Forte and Yoe** for reviewing '_Love Lies Waiting'_!  I'm glad you're not mad I took a little break, ne?

  


_Second warning on the lemon… Not for anyone under age!!!_

**Songs Of The Heart - Chapter 10:** The Redemption

_By Moonraven_   
  


"Are you waiting for him?" Soft familiar voice asked from the relative warmth of the bedroom behind him.   
  


Ryuuichi smiled and shook his head. He knew who it was without turning around. Chichiri was always good at sneaking up on him. He continued to stare out into the night as he leaned lightly on the railing of his balcony. He shivered slightly as the cool breeze brushed his bare torso and regretted not putting on a shirt before coming out. It was not a cold night but living on the 10th floor could be breezy.   
  


"He's not coming." Ryuuichi said softly. "He's not ready, no da." He smiled again as he pictured Chichiri frowning at some imaginary injustice on Tohma's part.   
  


"You're alright with that?" Chichiri asked as he walked out to stand next to his former lover, his posture semi-identical to the other man.   
  


Ryuuichi turned and smiled at the younger man. Chichiri was dressed, as always, in black. He had thought the color, together with Chichiri's brooding expression, morbid. But as he got to know Chichiri, the color came to represent the depth and complexity of the man. Black was as unfathomable as the man wearing it.   
  


Chichiri didn't look at him but continued to look out at the city lights. His face looked serene but Ryuuichi could tell that the younger man was anxious to hear his reply. Ryuuichi turned slightly and leaned one elbow on top of the iron rail as he ruffled Chichiri's dark hair playfully.   
  


"Come on, Chichiri, no da… What's wrong?" He knew Chichiri didn't come to see him for idle talk.   
  


Chichiri didn't turn towards him but Ryuuichi could see the tiny smile on his face. "I told you not to tease me so much. Now you can't get rid of the 'no da', can you?"   
  


"Can too, no…" Damn it! Ryuuichi bit his lips as Chichiri burst out laughing.   
  


"Told you." Chichiri said softly as he turned and placed a chaste kiss on Ryuuichi's lips. He turned back to the night-lights and sighed. "Are you happy, Ryu-chan?" He asked softy.   
  


Ah, so THAT was it. Ryuuichi shook his head at his friend's concern. Chichiri was always worried about everyone even if he projected this 'I-could-care-less-if-you-spontaneously-combust-in-front-of-me' attitude. He always cared.   
  


"That's a loaded question, Chichiri, it's not fair to ask me that at all. Am I happy that Tohma loves me? Yes. Am I happy that some people will be hurt from this? No. Am I happy that you found Tasuki? Yes. Am I happy that you still-"   
  
Chichiri turned and placed a hand over his mouth and Ryuuichi stopped talking. The younger man gave him a resigned look and rephrased his question.   
  


"Do you regret your decision?"   
  
"No." Ryuuichi said without hesitation. He regretted nothing. He had given Tohma his heart to do as the other man pleased; the wheel was in motion, now he waited to see where it would take him.   
  


Chichiri nodded. "Then you are happy with your decision." He looked deep into the familiar blue eyes. "You are happy with him."   
  
Ryuuichi smiled and nodded. "Very."   
  


"Even when he's not here."   
  


Ryuuichi frowned slightly and looked away. "He's uncertain and still feels guilty. I don't think he has forgiven himself yet. It will take some patience on my part, no da." He turned back to his former lover and gave him a grin. "I think you once said that it was my forte, ne?"   
  
"Hn." Chichiri grunted and turned to look down over the railing at the people and cars below them. "Don't let him take too long." He said as he stared fixedly at the large Sakura tree below him.   
  


"You worry too much, Chichiri. He won't hurt me again. I know." Ryuuichi place a gentle hand on the younger man's shoulder. "How are you and Tasuki?"   
  


Chichiri shrugged and turned his gaze back to the Tokyo night-lights. "We are…" He stopped and thought for a few moments before he continued. "We are starting…something."   
  
Ryuuichi smiled and hugged Chichiri to him. That may not sound like much but from the man who had locked up his emotions behind Fort Knox, it was significant. "I am so happy for you." Ryuuichi said and kissed the younger man's temple. "You deserve so much happiness, Chichiri."   
  


Chichiri shook his head but leaned into the embrace. "You sound just like him." He said quietly.   
  


"Speaking of which… Why are YOU here?" Ryuuichi turned the younger man to face him. "Shouldn't you be with him?"   
  


Chichiri had the grace to look embarrassed. "I…I'm taking it slow as well, no da."   
  


Ryuuichi narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Hypocrite! Don't YOU take too long either." He ruffled Chichiri's hair some more and pulled him along into the bedroom. "I'm freezing so I'm going to bed. YOU are going to find Tasuki and…well and do what ever it is 19 year-olds like to do, ne?"   
  


Chichiri smiled and shook his head. "Hentai." He said softly.   
  


The figure hiding in the shadows of the Sakura tree looked up wistfully at the two men on the balcony. His heart pounded violently in his chest and he felt it constrict painfully as the men held each other then moved back into the privacy of the bedroom. An agonized moan escaped his lips as he turned and walked back in the direction he came.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  


Tohma gritted his teeth and took a deep breath to curb the rising nausea that threatened to make him ill. He got numbly out of the car and walked stiffly up the driveway to the front door. He felt cold and empty despite the warmth of his coat and hat. It wasn't even a cold night but the chill in his heart would allow no other sensation to interfere lest they allowed him to feel the searing pain that had pierced his heart.   
  


"What are you doing here?" A soft voice brought his head up to see another chilling sight; Chichiri leaning casually against the wall next to his front door. Now how did he get here before him…? Tohma wondered as he stared at Chichiri and then back to the street in front of his house. He frowned and looked at Chichiri again. How did Chichiri get here?   
  


Chichiri pushed himself lazily off the wall and walked towards the bewildered Tohma. "Why are you here?" Chichiri asked again.   
  


Tohma blinked at the bland expression on the other man's face and swallowed his confusion. "Um…I…live here. H-How did you get here so fast?" When he left Ryuuichi's apartment building, Chichiri and the singer were going into the bedroom…   
  
Chichiri narrowed his good eye and peered across the gloom at the pale blond. "Why aren't you with him?"   
  


Why answer a question when you could ask one, ne, Chichiri? Tohma saw clearly now where Eiri had gotten that irritating habit. Why wasn't he with his love? Tohma felt the tightening in his chest again at the thought of Ryuuichi and fought against it. "Because you were with him." He said that rather harshly and took a deep breath to calm himself. "What are YOU doing here?" He asked in return.   
  


Chichiri said nothing for a long time and they stared at each other silently in the dark. "Do you regret letting him go?" Tohma asked suddenly.   
  


Chichiri continued to stare darkly at Tohma as he said, "Only if you hurt him."   
  
Tohma snorted derisively. "I don't think I'd get the chance. He doesn't need me now. He has you…will always have you." Tohma's voice trailed off and he cursed himself for his weakness.   
  


"I went to make sure he was happy. To say good bye." Chichiri said quietly. "There hasn't been anything between us for awhile now. Ever since the day you brought Kuma to him."   
  
Tohma looked sharply at Chichiri and shook his head. "I…I saw you. You were with him on the balcony. Then you went into his room and…" Tohma stopped. He didn't want to think about what they did next.   
  


"And then I came here." Chichiri said as he looked at Tohma with some amusement. "Do you really think that we could have done it THAT fast?" He was smiling now. "Making love to Ryu-chan requires more precious time that that, Tohma-kun. Or have you forgotten?" Chichiri was smirking at the shuffling blond. Even in the gloom, Tohma knew that the other man could tell he was blushing furiously.   
  


Chichiri started to walk down the walkway towards the street. As Chichiri passed him, the younger man stopped but didn't look at him.   
  


"We had something special, yes, but it wasn't love. Not the love he feels for you. I could never replace that and I had never wanted to. I care very much for him and want him to be happy so if you hurt him again, I WILL kill you." He did turn towards Tohma then and as his eye met Tohma's, the blond felt chills run down his spine. The dangerous glint in that cold eye was unmistakable; THAT was a promise and Chichiri never breaks a promise.   
  


"I'm not going to be with him because you threaten me, Chichiri-san." Tohma said coolly. "I'm with him because I love him. Believe me, if I hurt him again, I'll kill myself before you'll even get a wind of it. You needn't bother."   
  


Chichiri stared intently into his eyes then nodded and walked silently away from the blond. Before Chichiri disappeared into the night, Tohma heard him say softly over his shoulder, "Go to him. He's waiting for you."   
  


He blinked at the darkness. Chichiri was gone. How did he keep doing that?   
  


_Go to him…_   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


He was so beautiful. He was truly perfect and utterly irresistible. How could he have thought that he could live without this man?   
  


Tohma stared fixedly at the slumbering figure on the large king sized bed. Ryuuichi was sleeping on his stomach, half sprawled across the bed with the soft green satin sheet tangled enticingly around his waist and legs. His back was bare and from the smooth line where the sheets hugged his hips, Tohma knew that his love was naked. He smiled at the memories. Ryuuichi loved to sleep in the nude. He loved the way the cool satin sheets caressed his bare skin…Tohma had loved the way Ryuuichi's satiny skin caressed his…   
  


As if the sleeping angel could feel Tohma's gaze on him, he moaned and shifted on the bed. Tohma gasped as the sheet slipped further off Ryuuichi's body to exposed creamy smooth skin over the soft round hips. It took all of Tohma's will power and then some to keep him from moving closer to the bed, closer to the enticing body that promised sweet oblivion, closer to paradise.   
  


His groin ached. It burned with needs he hadn't felt in a long time. HE burned with needs and desires and the all-consuming thoughts of possessing that beguiling body stretched out in front of him. Must have him.   
  


Despite his resolve to just watch, Tohma was surprised to find that he was now standing next to the bed. His slack clad thigh brushed the satin sheets covering the thick mattress and he was only a couple of inches away from the man he loved. Ryuuichi's face was turned towards him and he noted with a smile that Kuma was no longer clutched in Ryuuichi arms like he normally was. Tohma knew because he had watched Ryuuichi sleep many times in the past. It was one of his favorite pastimes, especially when he couldn't sleep. He loved to watch Ryuuichi Sakuma.   
  


Then Tohma froze. His breath caught suddenly in his throat as one sleepy blue eye gazed hazily at him from the bed. Ryuuichi was awake.   
  


The singer blinked and propped himself up on his elbows, looking confusedly at the blond who had the 'deer-caught-in-the-headlights' stupor.   
  


Tohma could not breath. Lights from the city outside streamed in the open French windows, casting erotic gleams on the firm muscles of Ryuuichi's back and hips.   
  


"Tohma?" Ryuuichi's voice was husky with sleep but Tohma's needy mind only heard the whisper of a lover and his groin tightened even more.   
  


"Aa." That was NOT an answer of an amorous lover. Tohma scolded himself.   
  


Ryuuichi turned over and pushed himself into a sitting position as he rubbed his eyes sleepily. Tohma groaned as the man on the bed unknowingly allowed the sheets to slip further down his body, exposing firm strong thighs.   
  


"Is everything alright?" Ryuuichi asked, concerned.   
  


"Aa." Oh, yes. More eloquence.   
  


Ryuuichi watched him with a small frown then seeing where Tohma's eyes had traveled; he blushed but didn't adjust the soft green sheets.   
  


"You've done this before." Ryuuichi said softly from the bed. "Watching me... How?"   
  


Tohma nodded and swallowed.  He held up a set of keys nervously and hoped that Ryuuichi wouldn't be too upset that Tohma had invaded his privacy.  He was sure Ryuuichi knew that he owned the building…

Ryuuichi smiled and held out his hand. "I'd thought they were dreams." The singer said as he gently beckoned to the blond. "I thought it was because I had wanted you so badly that I had imagined them."   
  


Tohma came out of his daze and reached out to touch the offered hand. He felt warm, strong fingers fold over his and then he was firmly pulled towards the beautiful man on the bed. _I want you too_, he wanted to shout. _So much…_   
  


The next thing his foggy mind knew, he was lying fully clothed atop the naked Ryuuchi. He was not pleased. He wanted to feel the other man's silky skin against his. Tohma shifted between Ryuuichi's spread legs, pressing their bodies harder against each other. Ryuuichi sighed happily at the sensation and Tohma bit back a cry. It felt so good.   
  


"Make love to me." Ryuuichi whispered as he gently thrust his hips upwards, increasing the pressure between them.   
  


"I don't deserve you." Tohma whispered back as he traced loving lines on Ryuuichi's neck and jaw with his lips. Tears burned the back of his eyes at the familiar scent of his lover. He didn't deserve this perfection, this happiness. He didn't deserve this man.   
  


Strong hands came up and took a firm hold of his face. Ryuuichi pulled Tohma away from his neck and looked solemnly into the watery green eyes. "Love me?" It was a heartbreaking question that tore at Tohma's heart.   
  


"I do." He nearly choked on his emotion. _With every breath in my body_, he added silently.   
  


Ryuuichi's dark blue eyes softened and he smiled. "Then you DO deserve me." He pulled the unresisting face down and parted his lips eagerly when he felt Tohma's mouth on his.   
  


Tohma sighed into the kiss and he slipped his tongue in to caress and dance with it's mate. His mate. If such a perfect being like Ryuuichi could forgive him, surely he deserved to be forgiven?   
  


Beneath Tohma, Ryuuichi moaned and writhed as he tried to remove the blonde's shirt. Tohma smirked at his lover's impatience and pulled away to take care of that little inconvenience. Ryuuichi whimpered in protest and attempted to pull the blond back down against him.   
  


Tohma chuckled at the displeasure in his lover's face. He removed his clothing quickly, the pulsing hardness between Ryuuichi's legs and the longing in the man's face were motivation enough. To hell with a few popped buttons.   
  


Ryuuichi nearly purred as Tohma pressed his naked body down on top of him. Tohma looked down to the slightly parted lips as soft sounds of pleasure escaped them. Gods he loved this man. Tonight, he would show Ryuuichi just how precious Ryuuichi was to him. He smiled and placed small teasing kisses along Ryuuichi's jaw line then moved to do the same along the smooth slender neck. Ryuuichi moaned low in his throat and threw his head to the side, exposing more area for Tohma to explore while the singer's hands caressed encouragingly on the blonde's back and rear.   
  


Tohma moved down the hard body of his lover and kissed, licked and suckled every area he could find. Strangled sounds escaped the writhing body beneath him and Tohma's breath caught in his throat at their familiarity. It felt so right, so wonderful, so perfect. He was home…with his heart…   
  
Worshiping Ryuuichi's body was never a problem but after 6 years, his control was being sorely tested. He wanted to be buried inside that incredible body so badly he had to take several deep breaths as he slithered down his lover's body. The soft whimpering from Ryuuichi did not help his situation any but Tohma was determined to take it slow; to cherish this moment and make it last as long as he could.   
  


"Toh…ma…" Tohma could hear the desperation in Ryuuichi's voice as the singer moaned, thrashing his head from side to side. Ryuuichi's hands gripped his sheets tightly as he bucked up off the bed to get more friction from Tohma's body. "Please…"   
  


Ryuuichi's hot length nudged Tohma's chin as he paid homage to the man's navel. The nudging continued and Tohma repressed the urge to tip his head down and lick the moistened tip.   
  


"Tohma, please…" Ryuuichi begged again.   
  


Well, there goes another resolution, thought Tohma as he complied. So much for taking it slow…his love needed this now. Tenderly, he took the engorged flesh in his hand and licked the moisture off the tip, dipping into the slit to get everything he could. Using the pad of his tongue, Tohma bathed the shaft reverently, pausing to rub repeatedly against the ridge of the head. Ryuuichi moaned appreciatively and thrust up involuntarily. Tohma took the head gently between his lips and sucked in earnest while his hand held the hardened shaft. He gave Ryuuichi a series of quick pumps as he continued to lick and suck on the head.   
  


"Ahh…Tohma…" Ryuuichi was nearly off the bed as he arched himself into his lover's mouth and hand. Tohma knew what Ryuuichi needed and he shifted slightly and brought his other hand to the neglected sac. He rolled the soft flesh between his fingers and knew by their tightness that Ryuuichi was very close to his release. Tohma doubled his efforts on his love's erection and found his reward when Ryuuichi gave a keening wail and jerked under him. Prepared as he was, he continued to suck and draw out as much essence as he could, reveling at the taste of his lover, the taste that he had never forgotten.   
  


Licking his lips and wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, he moved up to hover over the still panting Ryuuichi. Sparkling blue eyes gazed up lovingly at him and Tohma smiled, his heart warmed at the love he saw there. He bend down and gently took Ryuuichi's bottom lip between his teeth and sucked insistently. Ryuuichi opened his mouth and swiped his tongue across Tohma's teeth, inviting the blond to explore inside. When Tohma slipped his tongue in, Ryuuichi pulled the blond down on top of him. Tohma gasped as his still erected member rubbed against Ryuuichi's crotch and he couldn't hold back the moan when Ryuuichi rocked his hips against the blond.   
  


"Inside…now…" Ryuuichi moaned into his mouth. "I've waited so long, Tohma."   
  


Tohma broke off the kiss when he found a tube of lubricant thrust into his hand. He looked down and smirked at his lover when he felt the beginning of an answering hardness beneath him. All that rocking had gotten Ryuuichi excited again and who was he to deny his love the pleasure he so craved?   
  


Tohma shifted off Ryuuichi slightly and flipped the lid off the lube. He squeezed a glob on to his hand and swallowed the tightness in his throat. His wet dreams and fantasies of the past 6 years were about to be realized and he nearly shook with anticipation. With his non-lubed hand, he urged a large pillow under Ryuuichi's buttocks and moaned out loud when presented with a very enticing view of the pink opening.   
  


As if to try Tohma's control even further, Ryuuichi spread his legs wider and moaned. Tohma drew in a shaky breath and rubbed the cool gel on his fingers. He moved up closer and slowly placed a finger at the entrance, rubbing and pressing gently. Ryuuichi wiggled and moaned again at the pressure. Tohma was fascinated with the sight of the flushed singer and the small erotic sounds he was making. He continued to rub and press without slipping inside, drawing desperate thrashing and protests from the other man.   
  


Then he slid his index finger in. Ryuuichi whimpered and lifted his hips off the pillow as he tried to push the finger in deeper. Tohma loved to pleasure Ryuuichi. To him, that was as good as pleasuring himself. His heart brimmed with satisfaction and joy at the sight of the writhing Ryuuichi and he couldn't help but want to do more. Tohma moved his finger in and out repeatedly, loving the feel of the hot tight channel he was embedded in. Soon, he thought, it would be more than his finger that was drawing out moans and cries from his lover.   
  


With encouraging cries from Ryuuichi, Tohma slipped in a second finger and pressed on the tight ring around the opening. He rotated his wrist and pressed upward, smiling when he found the spot that had Ryuuichi crying out and bucking wildly.   
  


"God, Tohma…NOW…" Ryuuichi's hoarse demand went directly to Tohma's needy arousal and he pulled his fingers out of his lover. Tohma moved up and hooked his arms under Ryuuichi's bent knees and guided his dripping erection to his lover's opening. Keeping his eyes trained on his Ryuuichi's face, he slowly eased into his lover's body.   
  


Tohma gritted his teeth at the tightness and paused, afraid that he may have hurt Ryuuichi. His lover, however, didn't like that at all. Ryuuichi wrapped his legs around Tohma and pulled the blond into his body as sobs of pure pleasure tore from his throat. Tohma stilled when he was fully seated in his lover. He was so aroused he wasn't sure he could keep up the pace he had intended to set. His plan of slowly making love to Ryuuichi all night flew out the windows as soon as he entered the hot sheath of Ryuuichi's body. Gods, but this felt good!   
  


After a few deep breaths, he slowly withdrew until he was almost completely out, then he slowly pushed in again. He did this several times until Ryuuichi all but scream for Tohma to fuck him into next week.   
  


Ryuuichi's desperate cries were the downfall of Tohma's control. The ecstatic pressure around his throbbing organ increased as he sped up his pace, slamming again and again into that tight heat. Ryuuichi reached for his own throbbing flesh but Tohma stopped him by taking a hold of his lover's hand. Then he took their entwined hands and cover Ryuuichi's wet arousal, pumping it vigorously. With a guttural cry, Ryuuichi tensed under him and jets of surging heat pulsed from the Ryuuichi, covering both their hands and the brunette's chest. The exquisite sight of Ryuuichi cumming drove Tohma over the edge and he thrust deep as his seeds burned their path through him and deep into his lover.   
  


Exhausted, Tohma collapsed onto his lover, making sure to support some of his weight with his arms. Still panting heavily, he buried his face in Ryuuichi's neck, loving the very scent of the man. Ryuuichi reached up one arm tiredly to stroke the back of Tohma's head while the other snaked around the man's waist and held him close.   
  


"That was perfect, Tohma." He whispered into the blonde's ear. "I love you."   
  


Tohma raised himself off Ryuuchi and gazed deeply into the warm blue eyes. This WAS perfect and if he were to die right now, in this man's arms, he would have no complaint.   
  


"Hai, Ryu-chan. You ARE perfect." He bent down and cover Ryuuchi's lips tenderly, eyes closed, tongue delving deep and slow. There was no hurry. They have a lifetime together, to cherish, to love and to make love…   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  


Eiri Yuki took a last, long drag from his cigarette then threw the stub on the ground by his feet and snubbed that out lazily with his foot. He felt uneasy about something but he couldn't put his finger on it. It was just a feeling that he rarely had, the last time being when Shuuichi was attacked by that asshole from Ask. He would never tell anyone this of course, but he blamed himself entirely for the unfortunate incident. This time he had made sure that Shuuichi was safe and would remain so until he could see the youngster at home.   
  


Eiri's thought came to an abrupt stop when he heard footsteps coming down the deserted path of the park. He was sitting on a bench adjacent to the walkway looking out over the nightlife of Tokyo. He did not move as he waited to see who would be walking around in a dark and deserted park at this time of night. If it was that fool Shuuichi, he would give him the beating of his life…then he would soothe away the pain by making love to the boy all night…   
  
Eiri shook his head in disgust. What the hell was he thinking? Why were all of his thoughts of the youth, sexually explicit? He dropped his head into his hands and moaned his contempt. He really had it bad.   
  


The footsteps stopped a few feet from him and Eiri tensed in awareness. If the person thought that he was easy prey…Eiri's lips curled into a feral grin as he waited for the other person to make the move.   
  


"Ne, Eiri…What are you doing?"   
  


Eiri relaxed as he recognized the voice. Houjun or Chichiri now. He looked up, slightly irritated that he couldn't take this stifling uneasiness out on someone.   
  


"Smoking." He said as he took out another cigarette. He really should quit. It was bad for his health.   
  


Chichiri came and sat next to his long time friend and together they silently watched the twinkling light danced in front of them.   
  


"Where's Shuuichi?" Chichiri finally asked, breaking the silence.   
  


"With Hiro." Eiri said. "They're practicing something or other." He sounded bored as he took another drag. He glanced sideways at his friend. Chichiri was staring passively in front of him. "Tasuki's there, I heard." He added just to see if he could get a reaction.   
  


None.   
  


Eiri Yuki was not a man for small talk but Chichiri was even worse. Eiri felt like a babbling fool next to his friend but he couldn't help himself. So he babbled in his own way. "Something's not right, Houjun. I feel it." This was probably the only man who would understand what he was saying.   
  


"Aa." Chichiri said quietly. "I know."   
  


Eiri looked sharply at his friend and frowned. "What is it?" He asked. If Chichiri knew, why didn't the man say something before? It had been days since Eiri felt the uneasiness in his heart.   
  


"It's evil, no da." Chichiri said. "Evil in men's heart."   
  
He did not say more and Eiri snorted in irritation. "Are you talking about the bomb threats?" Eiri's frown deepened. "I don't know…"   
  


Chichiri turned and gave his friend a tired smile. "That will go away soon, Eiri. You don't have to worry about Shuuichi and the bombs, no da." He turned back to his observation of the city.   
  


"Houjun…you're not the…" Eiri couldn't bring himself to say it. Chichiri couldn't possibly the terrorist that had been threatening Japan with bombs and nerve gas…could he?   
  


"Nani?" Chichiri turned questioning eye to his friend and huffed in indignation when he saw Eiri's thoughts flash across his face. "BAKA!" He smacked the top of Eiri's head as he glared at his friend.   
  


Eiri rubbed the top of his head and scooted a little away. "Then stop being so mysterious and stop talking like that." He mumbled in his defense. "How would you know that the bomb threats were going away?" His amber eyes lit up as he thought of another possibility. "Are you working with the police? Do you have a lead?"   
  


Chichiri didn't answer right away and Eiri was about to give up hoping for one when the older man spoke.   
  


"Something like that. I can't say more, no da." He sighed and smiled at his friend. "So don't worry, okay? It's time you enjoy living, no da."   
  
Eiri looked at Chichiri as if he had lost his mind. Chichiri, talking about living…and joy…something was definitely wrong. He brought his face closer to his friend and peered suspiciously at Chichiri. "You don't drink, so I know you're not drunk…"   
  
Chichiri chuckled softly and gently pushed him away. "Baka." He said again. "I just want to see you happy, Eiri. You'll drive Shuuichi away, no da, if you're so grumpy all the time."   
  


"And that would be bad because…?" Eiri asked with one eyebrow raised.   
  


Chichiri gave Eiri one of his rare smiles. "Because you love him, Eiri-kun."   
  


Eiri sighed and snubbed out another cigarette but didn't respond.   
  


"And he loves you." Chichiri added.   
  


"He gives me headaches." Eiri muttered. It was true, he thought defensively. The boy chattered on endlessly. And the mess he made in Eiri's apartment was enough to give anyone a permanent migraine.   
  


But Shuuichi also made him feel something else he hadn't thought he'd ever feel. Tenderness. Eiri swallowed and rubbed unconsciously at the middle of his chest. Shuuichi brought this warm, aching feeling that had Eiri doing things he didn't normally do. Like taking in a male lover. But then it wasn't just any male lover; it was Shuuichi Shindoh.   
  


Chichiri smiled and nodded. "Yeah, he gives me a headache sometimes too but it's worth it, ne?" He cocked his head and looked at Eiri expectantly.   
  


Eiri smiled back and said, "Yeah."   
  
Chichiri seemed satisfied as he gave a contented little sigh and looked out over the city again. Eiri didn't understand this man. This was not the man that he had known these past ten years. This was more like the man…no, the boy he'd known before…   
  
"It seems I don't have to look for a rare and exotic bird, ne, Houjun." Eiri commented casually. Could Tasuki have made such a difference? He could see Chichiri smiling at the implication and he waited patiently for his reply.   
  


"No. I've found what I need, Eiri. Thank you." Chichiri got up and straightened his pants. "Eiri." He said softly, not looking at the blond. "Whatever happens in the future, Eiri, know that I love you. You were as much my anchor during those dark years as Tasuki had been. You are my best friend, Eiri." Chichiri walked off without waiting for Eiri to reply, not that the blond could. Eiri stared speechless after his friend, his heart pounding more violently than it had in a very long time. That '_something_' he'd been feeling had everything to do with Chichiri…   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


"Ma, Hotohori-sama…" Nuriko whined into the cell phone as he twirled the end of his braid anxiously. "That would mean you wouldn't get here til later tonight." He pouted.   
  


_"It can't be helped, Nuri-chan, and what's with you taking up the 'sama' honorific?"_ Hotohori asked, his voice sounded far away.   
  


Nuriko colored brightly and bit his lower lip. "Um…what sama? It's probably the static, Tori." He pulled the phone away from his ear and made static noises to demonstrated. Then he put the phone back to his ear. "What did you say?"   
  


_"Nothing, forget it. Just stay away from the train stations, okay?" _Hotohori instructed.   
  


"Oh, Tori, you worry too much. The maniac's been yelling bomb threats for weeks. We haven't seen a single bomb…oh wait, there WAS that one that actually blew up that dog statue, Hachiko, in front of the Shibuya station…um…but never mind…forget I said anything." Nuriko banged his head repeatedly on the only table in the recording room.   
  


_"Nuriko."_ Hotohori's warning sounded very close despite the hundreds of miles separating them.   
  


"Hai, hai, Hotohori-sa… um…no train stations. Hai!" Nuriko grimace when he nearly slipped with the 'sama' thing. Where the hell did THAT come from?   
  


_"I missed you." _Hotohori's warm voice said suddenly and slow warmth grew in Nuriko's stomach.   
  


"Tori…I missed you, too." He nearly sobbed, he was that happy.   
  


_"Be good and I'll see you tonight, okay?"_**  
  
******

"Promise? No matter how late?"   
  


_"Hai. I love you." _  
  


Wahhhh! Nuriko cried then. "I love you too!" He sobbed between sniffles and grabbed the tissues from Sakano who was sniffling himself.   
  


_"Baka."_ Hotohori chided. _"Ja!"_

"Ja!" Wahhhhh! Nuriko wailed into Sakano's lapel after he hung up and Tasuki rolled his eyes at his braided friend.   
  


"I take it he's driving?" Tasuki asked as he went back to the synthesizer.   
  


"Yeah." Nuriko sighed. "It'll take him forever…but I guess it's better than staying away, ne?" He brightened slightly.   
  


Before Tasuki could reply, Sakano came up to them and cleared his throat. He pushed his glassed up higher on the bridge of his nose nervously and smiled. "Er…Seguchi-san wants us in his office now."   
  


Nuriko frowned and glared at Tasuki. "What have you done now?" He asked his friend.   
  


"Nothing!" Tasuki said indignantly. "Why does it have to be me? What about you? Who the fuck switched the audition demo tape of that new band with the audio effect of a fucking herd of elephants in heat?" Tasuki challenged.   
  


"Anou…THAT was YOU?" Sakano looked at Nuriko, aghast.   
  


Nuriko laughed nervously. "Heh, heh. Er…shouldn't we be going, guys?" He asked and tugged on Tasuki's arm while pushing Sakano ahead of him. "Wouldn't want to make Seguchi-san angry now, do we?"   
  


"Baka." Tasuki muttered under his breath.   
  


When they'd gotten to Tohma's office, they found Ryuuichi lounging casually on one of the armchairs next to Tohma's desk. The blond was sitting behind his desk smiling absently at Ryuuichi, as he seemed lost in thoughts. From the looks on his face, Tasuki guessed that the blonde's thoughts were with a certain brunette rock star.   
  


When they piled into the room, Tohma stood up behind his desk and waved for them to sit down. Ryuuichi smiled brightly and waved cheerily from his seat.   
  


Tasuki and Nuriko sat on one side of the sofa while Sakano went to sit across from them on the loveseat. Tohma moved to the front of his desk and leaned back against it, facing them. He looked worried and THAT didn't bode well. Tohma Seguchi was always composed and he rarely allowed anything but cheerfulness and confidence to show.   
  


"I guess you knew about the threats we've been having recently. We really can't risk public safety so I've decided to postpone Tasuki's concert indefinitely." He looked pointedly at Tasuki, hoping the young man didn't have objections.   
  


Tasuki shrugged. "Fine by me. I'm not too keen on getting blown up myself."   
  
"But the concert is not for another two weeks." Sakano pointed out.   
  


"Yes, but it's better to let the public know of our concern now rather than wait for someone to point it out." Tohma said quietly. "When the culprit is apprehended, then we can be on the move again."   
  
They looked around the room at each other and nodded in consensus.   
  


The door opened softly and everybody turned to the newcomer. It was Chichiri.   
  


Tasuki frowned at the haggard appearance of his lover. Chichiri looked like he hadn't slept in days. From his right, Ryuuichi sat up abruptly and Tasuki knew that the other man saw it as well.   
  


"Sorry." He spoke softly but the tired edge in his voice was evident. He didn't move from the doorway but his gaze went directly to Tasuki.   
  


"If I may interrupt, I need a word with you. It's urgent." He nodded to the rest of the group and went back out.   
  


Tasuki looked for permission from Ryuuichi who had on a small worried frown to Tohma who had on a bigger worried frown. Finally Tohma nodded curtly before glancing sideways at his lover.   
  


Tasuki hurried out the door and found Chichiri leaning heavily against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. Since Tohma's office had taken up pretty much the whole east wing, no passerby wandered the hallway and the corridor was fairly empty.   
  


Chichiri eyed Tasuki warily as the redhead walked up to him. "Are you alright?" Tasuki asked. "You looked beat." He said as he laid one gentle hand on Chichiri's cheek.   
  


Chichiri tilted his face up and parted his lips invitingly. His eyes seemed unfocused to Tasuki and the younger man worried even more. But those lips…   
  
Tasuki was never good at resisting temptation and he'd hate to disappoint his love. He smiled crookedly and claimed Chichiri's lips eagerly. Chichiri wound his arms around Tasuki's waist and pulled the younger man flush against him. Tasuki moaned and plunged his tongue deeper into Chichiri's mouth as the older man returned his kiss with something akin to desperation. What was wrong with Chichiri?   
  


Tasuki broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against Chichiri's. "I ain't complaining, Chiri, but this is NOT the place to get hot and heavy."   
  
"I know." Chichiri's soft voice said and Tasuki's heart sank even lower.   
  


"Ne, Chiri. Let me take you to your room." Chichiri didn't look like he could stand much longer.   
  


"Hentai." Chichiri teased and smiled weakly.   
  


Tasuki blushed and shook his head. "I was thinking of having you rest, not ravage you. Though that could be arranged if you don't quit looking at me like that." He winked playfully though the concern never left his face.   
  


Chichiri took a deep breath and straightened up. "I'm alright, no da." He smiled and it seemed to Tasuki that the man was indeed stronger.   
  


"Tasuki." Chichiri said softly as he captured the redhead's face between his hands. "There's something I have to do, no da, and…I may be away for awhile. I want to let you know that I do love you, no da." He said almost reluctantly.   
  


It was almost like Chichiri was saying goodbye…for good. Tasuki didn't like it and he liked the 'no da' even less. He was not used to hearing it from Chichiri. Normally it was Ryuuichi who said that.   
  


"Can I help?" Tasuki asked. He did not want to be away from Chichiri now that they'd found each other. He didn't like the tone this whole thing was taking.   
  


Chichiri smiled and caressed Tasuki's cheekbones with his thumbs. He leaned over and kissed Tasuki's lips gently.   
  


"No, Tasuki. This is something I have to do myself, no da." He released Tasuki's face and took one of Tasuki's hands in his. Tasuki felt warm round objects pressed into his hand and looked down confusedly. It was a string of beads, mostly red ones with larger green ones between every five or six red beads. He looked up at Chichiri, not understanding.   
  


"Someone gave me that a long time ago to help me cope with my pain. I want you to take care of it for me…until I can get back to you, no da." Chichiri curled Tasuki's hand over the beads and brought the hand to his heart. He stared straight into Tasuki's confused eyes solemnly. "I've found you once Tasuki, I'll find you again. I promise." He leaned in once again and sealed his promise with a deep, lingering kiss. "I'll find you, no matter how long it takes. Wait for me." He said again when he pulled away.   
  


Tasuki was too stunned to say anything as Chichiri moved from his arms. He stared in desolation as Chichiri began walking slowly away.   
  


"Chiri." He called, desperation clear in his voice.   
  


Chichiri paused but did not look back.   
  


"I'll wait forever, Chiri. I love you." He said to the Chichiri's back. Chichiri nodded and started walking down the corridor again.   
  


"Tasuki! Chichiri!" The door burst open behind Tasuki and Nuriko ran out, his face pale and eyes wide. He looked up and down the corridor and asked, "Where's Chichiri?"   
  
Tasuki turned his head back to where Chichiri was but found the man gone. What the…? He started to run in the direction Chichiri went but Nuriko took a firm grip on his arm and yanked him back towards Tohma's office.   
  


"I know where he is." Nuriko said grimly as he towed the sputtering redhead behind him. "We've seen him on TV. He's on the rooftop of the Toshiba building in Shinjuku."   
  


"What?" Tasuki freed himself and pushed past Nuriko to the television set by the wall. He stared in disbelief when he saw Chichiri talking to a man wearing somekind of weird packages around his body. "What the hell is going on?" He looked at the stunned faces around the room and stopped when he saw Ryuuichi crying. He frowned and turned back to the TV. "I was just talking to him." He muttered almost to himself. "He couldn't have gotten to Shinjuku yet…it's at least an hour away."   
  


"According to the reporter, he's been there at least an hour, Tasuki-kun." Sakano said, his voice trembling with emotions Tasuki couldn't identify. Was it fear?   
  


"But you all saw him here!" Tasuki shouted without turning from the set. "This man is NOT Chiri." He declared stubbornly.   
  


The camera changed and they were now watching the close up scene from the camera on board the helicopter hovering nearby. Tasuki could clearly see Chichiri talking to the man and his heart nearly stopped when he saw what the man was wearing.   
  


"NO!" He shouted and grabbed the side of the TV. NO!   
  


The seedy looking man had explosives strapped to his body and he was talking to Chichiri! What the hell was his love doing?   
  


Tasuki struggled as he felt strong hands pull him off and away from the TV. "He's trying to talk the guy out of blowing up the building, Tas-chan." Nuriko's voice was unsteady and Tasuki knew without turning around that his friend was crying.   
  


"Is he fucking nuts?" Tasuki shouted. "God damn it, Chiri. What the fuck are you doing?"   
  
As they watched the scene, the reporter continued to provide commentary but Tasuki couldn't understand anything they said. All he heard was that they had found out the name of the mysterious man who had just appeared on the roof. It was Houjun Ri.   
  


The close up showed also that the roof was littered with several large containers all contained some kind of explosive. If one container went off, all of them would and that would take most of the building with them. Tasuki scanned the roof and saw in one corner, a group of men and women crouching, some crying and trembling in terror.   
  


No. This is not happening. It couldn't be. All these weeks he had practically ignored all the hoopla around the seemingly empty threats. Now the life of the very man he loved was in the clutch of this feign.   
  


The camera zoomed in closer and to the shock of every one, the terrorist pressed the detonator in his hand. The red digital read out on the man's chest read: 5   
  


NO! Tasuki shook his head in denial. This was NOT happening.   
  


4   
  


Tasuki struggled frantically against Nuriko to no avail. No no no no no…   
  
3   
  


Tasuki's heat pounded so hard he thought it would burst. Chichiri…   
  


2   
  


Tasuki world came to a complete stop and everything disappeared from his vision except that of Chichiri tackling the maniac, throwing both of them off the building. He watched in horror as the two entwined body plunged downward then disappeared in a burst of flames and smoke.   
  


NOOOOOO! He screamed and jumped forward, dragging Nuriko with him as he pounded on the glass surface of the screen.   
  


"NO! God damn it! NO!" He shouted and smashed through the glass with his fist. Nuriko dragged him from the sparks and smoke coming from the gaping hole in the TV and they fell on each other a few feet back.   
  


Tasuki struggled but his sobs robbed him of his strength and he collapsed back on Nuriko who was openly crying.   
  


"He fucking promised!" Tasuki shouted into Nuriko's shoulders and he beat his fists on his friend's chest. The beads were still clutched tightly in his hand.  "He promised to come back! Why? Why did he do it? Why?"   
  
There was no answer. The only sounds in the room were that of Tasuki's sobs and the gentle soothing sounds from Tohma who was comforting the distraught Ryuuichi.   
  


In one side of the room, stood the television as it fizzled and smoked unnoticed…   
  
  


TBC…   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 **_Author's apologies:_**  Gomen nasai!! *bows deeply*  I know it is so cruel of me to kill Chichiri but I think you'd agree that he needed this to move on.  Please don't be too angry, the next chapter is actually almost done and will be posted very soon, hopefully by next week.  You won't have to wait too long.  And remember…I love happy endings, so… (hint, hint)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…


	11. Life

**Author's Notes and Warnings: ** Well, here we are!  At the final chapter…I was so nervous at the beginning of this story, I thought I had bitten off more than I could chew…  But because of your support, I was able to continue and give you a story that you enjoyed.  THANK YOU everyone!  *on hands and knee, bowing, head to the ground*  Thank you!

And in the tradition of one crazy onna, I'm once again embarking on something bigger than I probably should.  The Weiss Kreuz crossover.  I'm working on the first chapter that will be posted in the WK section of FF.net.  I will simultaneously work on the FY chapter, which will be posted in the FY section…  If you're interested in the WK part of the story, please leave your email in the review of this chapter and I will let you know when I post it.  If you're not the review type, you may contact me at moon_raven@hotmail.com and I will email you.  Okay?  Wish me luck everybody!  This will be my first WK fic. *X_x* It would be nice if YOU guys were to mosey on to the WK section and support me there too?  Ne? Ne?  *great big puppy dog eyes*

Special thanks to Hitari for being the best Beta anywhere in the fandom and for Xellas M. for being the best friend anywhere!   Hugs, blessings and eternal gratitude to my all reviewers!!! 

**_IcaBob:_** There, there…don't cry.  I'm gonna make it all better, I promise.  Thanks for all you reviews!

**_Kawaii:_** Arigatou, Kawaii!  You've been great since forever!  Thanks again for all your support!

**_Ryogazgal:_**  Maa, maa…can't write if you beat me to a pulp, ne?  I'm afraid I'm not too familiar with Angel Sanctuary…I heard it's a bit dark and I really don't like dark anime.  You should see me when I finish 'X' the movie…nearly smashed the CD, I was that upset!  As for the WK crossover, I'm a Ran/Ken and Youji/Omi fan.  Of course Tas/Chi will be there, ne?  Arigatou!

**_Chibi Star Fighter_**: Thank you!  Not that want to be the cause of your tears but it's a great compliment to the writer when you can make the reader cry… Thank you very much!  As for episode 33…I'm pretty sure you're gonna cry…I did…

**_Hitari:_** *glomps Hitari-chan* You're the BEST!  My stories won't be half as good without you, no da!  Um…gonna beta my WK fics? *puppy dog eyes*

**_TigerBlak_**: Er…if you kill me off, I can't write more fics for you, no da… *LOL* Thanks for always providing such cool reviews!  (((HUGS)))

**_Shadow Priestess:_** Happy ending? Yep, yep, yep!  *LOL* Ya know, Tama-kun did that in the OAV too when that Hikou took Miaka away…He was so cute!

**_Eeyaatoe:_** Thank you, no da!  I can' have the boys all sad now, can I?  Not to mention you guys, huh?

**_Xellas M.:_** Have you noticed that Nakago is the cross between Eiri and K?  Hm…when I have him make an appearance in the sequel, do you think it'll be confusing?  ((((HUGS))))  

**_Mikazuki:_** *cracks open the smelling salt* Daijoubu? There, there, *pats Mikazuki-chan on the back* Hang in there, Okay?  It'll be better, soon.  Arigatou for reading and reviewing, no da!

**_Fujimiya Maru:_** Thank you!  One happy ending, coming right up!  And when are you planning to write more FY fics?  I really thought the two you have up are really kawaii…

**_Sakata:_** Thank you, thank you, thank you… I will definitely have the two bishounens have fun but…could you send the chibi monk patrol anyway…? *waggling eye brows madly*

**_Bitter Silence:_** Thank you deja-chan!  I fixed it, that I did!  Oro?  Did I just sound like the dubbed Kenshin?  *giggles*  See what this fic is doing to me?

**_hcbenitez:_** Um…I can't fit a H/N lemon in here but I'll give them an opportunity and I'll let your imagination take over, okay?  *grins*  Thanks for your reviews!

**_Chisama:_**  Welcome back, no da!  I haven't heard from you in a while, I'm glad you like it!  And it's fixed, no da!  *giggles* Love the 'holy hell!' btw…

**_Ayako:_** *nods knowingly* Ah…Ayako-chan's been reading my mind, no da.  Z dude, huh?  *grins*  Thanks for your reviews!!!

Basic disclaimer…don't own nobody…

Additional lemon warning…LEMON ahead!  ~.~

**Songs Of The Heart – **Chapter 11: Life

_By Moonraven_

**  
**Chichiri blinked at the brightness and brought his right arm up to shield his eye. To his left, he could hear giggling sounds and he wondered absently if hell shouldn't be darker and gloomier.   
  


"You idiot! Couldn't you think of something else besides throwing the both of you off the damn building?"   
  
Chichiri winced as a very hard and heavy object crashed down on his head. "Itai, no da!" He shouted and rubbed vigorously at the bump that was slowly growing. He swallowed hard as his vision cleared and the very image of hell itself appeared in front of him.   
  


All kinds of exclamations came to mind but died on his lips as the ugly old woman floating on a cloud glared at him.   
  


"Nani?" He asked when he finally found his voice. "Who are you?" Her voice was familiar but Chichiri swore he had never seen her. Or had he…? Something tugged at the edge of his memory but the harder Chichiri tried to grasp it, the more elusive it became.   
  


"Taiitsukun! Taiitsukun!" Several floating young girls with greenish hair circled around him. "She is Taiitsukun, silly Chichiri!" They all chimed at once, giggling and poking at him. He batted them away futilely and sighed in resignation when one of them brought her face nose to nose with him. She blinked and suddenly her lips quivered and tears formed in her eyes. "You forgot us, Chichiri?"   
  


Chichiri stared at her in disbelief. This was all so familiar but he couldn't put his finger on it. The sense of homecoming struck him hard when he looked around the room but he couldn't remember where he had seen it or why he should feel this way. This was definitely not hell, he thought.   
  


"Of course it's not hell, you silly twit! And whose concept of hell are you going by anyway?" The old lady, if you could call her lady, scowled at him. "And yes, you can call me lady!" She added menacingly.   
  


"Ugly lady, ugly lady!" The girls squealed and ran off in different directions as she turned her glare on them.   
  


"I am so angry with you right now Chichiri, I could spit fire!" She continued sternly as she peered at him. Then to Chichiri's surprise, her expression softened and she sighed and shook her head. "But I'm more proud of you than I have ever been, Suzaku no Seishin-Senshi (*) Chichiri. Even if your method has taken thousands of years off my life force, I'm still darn proud of you."   
  


"Suzaku…" Chichiri murmured…this was all so familiar…   
  


He looked up at the ugly old face again and then something clicked. It was as if the final puzzle had been found and he took a sharp breath. "Taiitsukun, no da." He said. Looking around he spotted the girls behind pillars and he called to them, laughing. "Nyan-Nyan!"   
  
The girls squealed and floated to him in hoards and Chichiri found himself glomped by at least five or six very giggly celestial beings.   
  


"You remember us, you did!" They shouted gleefully.   
  


"Oh, you silly things, get off him!" Taiitsukun's raspy voice sounded right above him. The girls squeaked and rushed to the side but their happy expressions remained plastered across their faces.   
  


Chichiri got up and brushed the seat of his pants. Not that there were dust in the controller's home on Mt. Taikyoku of course, but more from the force of habit.   
  


"Well?" She demanded as she looked darkly at him.   
  


"Well what, no da?" He asked innocently.   
  


"Why didn't you just teleport away? Why die with him?"   
  


Chichiri frowned and thought about that. "I didn't have all my wits with me, no da. Without all of my memories, my powers were not all that strong, no da. I guess I just didn't think of it." He shrugged.   
  


"You FORGOT?" She sputtered. "You died because you FORGOT you could teleport? What kind of an idiotic excuse is that? You teleported there, didn't you? You even used your powers to separate yourself so you could be in two places at the same time! How could you have FORGOTTEN to teleport OUT of there?"   
  


"Anou Taiitsukun, I barely had the strength to maintain the last spell, no da. When I fused back to being one ME again, I was somewhat disoriented, no da." He sighed and frowned as he thought about his choices. "Even then…" He stopped and bit his lips.   
  


"Even then…what?" The old lady prompted.   
  


"The person I was didn't want to live, no da." He said quietly. "He wasn't sure he deserved life, no da." He looked up sadly at his old mentor. "**I'm not sure I deserve life."   
  
"Oh, Chichiri. Why do you always have this issue in every single one of your lives? Does that not tell you anything?" Chichiri looked away abruptly, he didn't like the pity he saw in her eyes.   
  
**

"How do you feel about Hikou taking away Kouran?" She asked harshly.   
  


Chichiri turned sharply towards her. "He didn't take her away, no da. The flood did that."   
  


"But if he hadn't kissed her, she wouldn't have broken off the engagement. You wouldn't have been on that ledge and you may have been able to save your family and Kouran. Wasn't that what you thought?"   
  


"Yes, but…"   
  


"But you forgave him." She told him.   
  


"Yes, but…"   
  
"Even if he didn't kill any one, you had thought him responsible."   
  


"I did, but…"   
  


"It's the same thing, Chichiri."   
  
"**Will you LET me finish my sentences?" Chichiri shouted at his old teacher. "It's not the same thing."   
  
**

Taiitsukun looked miffed that he raised his voice at her but she didn't comment on it. She huffed and rolled her eyes before saying softly, "Forgiveness knows no difference, Chichiri." She floated closer, her expression softened. "Chichiri, through all of your lives I have watched you forgive everyone who had ever done you wrong. I have watched you love them and have watched you die for them. Yet through all of your selfless deeds, you are doomed to relive the very same agony. Why do you think that is?"   
  
"No." Chichiri shook his head. "I killed them. I killed those innocent kids, I remember now. I couldn't control the rage and I couldn't control the power that rushed out of nowhere. I should have known...I shouldn't have been so angry…"   
  


"Chichiri! They were beating the crap out of you and Hikou! You were 15 years old! You couldn't have known about the power! Even **_I_** was surprised you could tap into it. It wasn't your fault!" Taiitsukun looked like she could almost cry. Almost.   
  


Chichiri struggled with that, still not willing to relinquish the blame. "Seven people died." He muttered.   
  


"But you saved hundreds. Look at all the children you saved from abusive homes and from having to live on the streets. Look at the people you saved with your sacrifice. Enough, Chichiri, stop torturing yourself. Whenever you do this, you hurt Tasuki as well."   
  


"Tasuki…?" Chichiri looked up quizzically. What did Tasuki have to do with any of this?   
  


"How do you think he feels every time you torture yourself like this? What do you think he's feeling right now?"   
  


Chichiri frowned as he remembered a conversation he had with the redhead.   
  


**_"If other people can forgive you, why can't you forgive yourself?"_******

**_"People hadn't forgiven me, Tasuki. Some of them had just forgotten."_******

**_"Then you too can forget."_****   
  
**

"Alright, alright, never mind." She waved her hands dismissively. "I have someone who wants to meet you. Someone who's as proud of you as I am. If you won't listen to me maybe you'll listen to him."   
  


Taiitsukun turned her cloud towards the large doorway to their right and Chichiri gasped in shock.   
  


"Suzaku-sama!" Chichiri whispered as he dropped to his knees and touched his forehead to the ground. This was his God. This was Suzaku, coming to see him and Miaka wasn't even there. Chichiri was near panic, grief forgotten.   
  


"Rise and face me, Chichiri." Suzaku's voice echoed in his head.   
  


Chichiri got slowly to his feet and swallowed hard before he lifted his eyes to the reverent face of the beast god Suzaku.   
  


The human form of Suzaku smiled at the former monk and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Such selfless acts are redemption enough, Chichiri. You have served me well."   
  


"But I…" He hadn't done anything…   
  


"Will you take on another task?" Suzaku asked gently, not allowing him to finish.   
  


"Yes. Of course." He wanted to bow again but Suzaku took his chin and held his head up firmly. He looked directly into Chichiri's eye and the monk felt the gaze pierce deep into his heart, his soul. He felt loved…he felt life.   
  


"Live."   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
  


It had been three weeks. Tasuki stared numbly at the smooth black headstone gleaming in the morning sunlight. Black. It was what Chichiri always wore. Tears stung the back of his eyes as he caressed the sun-warmed stone tenderly. He'd wait. He'd promised. Even if he didn't know how long he'd have to wait…or why he was even waiting…   
  


He looked down at the string of beads clutched tightly in his hand and wondered how these round bobbles could ever sooth away the pain in his soul. He unclenched his hand and caressed the smooth surface of the larger green beads with his thumb. Chiri… Tasuki closed his eyes and sighed as he heard footsteps coming towards him. Hastily he put the beads away and silently willed them to pass him by so that he could spend what little precious time he had left alone with the memories of his love.   
  


It would soon be time for him to join the NG meeting that would determine the fate of 'Chichiri'. Since very few people knew who Chichiri really was, very few knew he had died and they would all be at that meeting today. It would seem simple, tell everyone the truth that Chichiri and Houjun Ri were the one and the same. But Ryuuichi had brought up the halfway homes and the children that Chichiri would not want to abandon. Ryuuichi had suggested that they continue as if nothing had happened to Chichiri and HE would supply the money to run those facilities. Because everyone wanted to help, arguments rose as to who should contribute how much. Hence, the meeting.   
  


A cool breeze rushed around him and Tasuki watched it pick up dried petals and swirled them in tiny little cyclones before dissipating and leaving them scattered about. The wind also carried something else that rooted Tasuki to the spot. It was the achingly familiar scent that had his stomach muscle clenching tightly. The scent of Chichiri. Tasuki looked around him half expecting to find his lover staring at him coolly. All he found were four pairs of eyes, regarding him somberly.   
  


Tasuki frowned and turned back to Chichiri's headstone. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth against emptiness he felt in his chest. Gods, he wanted Chichiri so badly…   
  
  


Footsteps continued as the four men tentatively approached him. Tasuki took a deep breath, preparing himself to meet company. He watched passively as the redhead from the Koneko no Sumi Ie walked towards Chichiri's grave, holding a large bouquet of flowers. Tasuki knew that he should've remembered the man's name but he couldn't care less at the moment. The tall redhead turned grave eyes towards Tasuki, silently asking permission and after a few numb moments, Tasuki nodded. The other three men followed the tall redhead and came to stand around the grave, next to Tasuki. Tasuki wondered absently how they came to be here together.   
  


Tasuki remembered the brunette standing close to the redhead. He seemed different now that he was no longer smiling and being carefree. Tasuki's eyes widened slightly when he saw the brunette slip his hand in the tall redhead's hand but kept silent. He turned sullen eyes toward the smallest of the four who stood next to him. Omi. He wondered if Omi had captured the man he loved.   
  


"We won't take long, Tasuki-kun. We just wanted to pay our respect." Omi said quietly.   
  


Tasuki nodded. Then he became more alert as a thought struck him. "Ne, Omi. How many people knew that Houjun and Chichiri are the same person?" He asked, his eyes going to the other three men who were now turning towards him and Omi.   
  


Omi frowned and looked at the redhead who nodded almost imperceptibly. Ran…that was his name…   
  
"Just the four of us as far as I know." Omi said. "I had the hardest time tracking his activities. He's…was…very good."   
  


Tasuki nodded. He'd heard that Omi was the best and if HE had a hard time, then their secrets were safe. "Can I ask you a favor?" He asked as he kept his eyes on the stark white letters spelling Houjun's name.   
  


"Aa." It was Ran who answered after a brief silence. Tasuki gathered that he was probably the boss or something.   
  


"Don't tell anyone. Please."   
  


Ran narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything. Omi nodded, his eyes sparkled as he realized why. "You're thinking about the children's home and the other shelters."   
  


Tasuki nodded. From the corner of his eyes, he saw the other men looked briefly at each other, then Ran answered. "Aa."   
  


Tasuki couldn't help smiling. Maybe they WERE related. At least he wasn't glaring today.   
  


"Thanks." He said softly as he looked up and smiled gratefully at the four men. His chest tightened almost painfully when he saw the brunette sidled up to Ran and the tall redhead snaked his arm around the boy's waist and pulled him closer. He was glad that they had each other. He wished Chichiri were with him.   
  


Youji walked up to Omi and ruffled his hair gently before dropping his hand to the boy's shoulder. "C'mon, Chibi. We should get going."   
  


Omi leaned against the tall blonde's chest and nodded. Tasuki smiled as he realized that Omi DID get his man.   
  


"Ken…" Ran's voice called softly as the brunette left his side and approached Tasuki. Ken smiled uncertainly and hesitantly embraced Tasuki.   
  


Tasuki froze at the unexpected gesture but his heart was warmed by it. This generous stranger was offering him comfort. He timidly hugged back and before Ken released him, the kind brunette whispered, "He was an amazing man, Tasuki-san. What he did will be remembered for a very long time." Then he went back to Ran's side.   
  


"Thank you." Tasuki said hoarsely, his voice full of emotion.   
  


Ran nodded to him gravely and pulled Ken with him as he turned and walked back up the walkway. Youji wrapped his arm around Omi's shoulder and gave Tasuki a small nod. "Ja." He said quietly as he turned to follow his friends.   
  


"We'll make sure he gets fresh flowers every week, Tasuki-kun." Omi said as he gave Tasuki a small wave. "Bye."   
  


"Bye, Omi. Thanks." Tasuki said. He watched enviously as they walked away, each with the man they loved. He looked back at Chichiri's grave accusingly.   
  


"You better hurry up and find me, you bastard." He said as he crouched in front of the grave and traced his fingers along the lines of Chichiri's name. "Forever can get lonely when you're not here."   
  


"How about some company, then?" A warm, silky voice said from behind him. Tasuki spun around on his heel but in his half stooping position, he lost his balance and fell on his rear on top of Chichiri's grave. He grunted and snapped his head in the direction of the snicker but all thoughts of scathing replies vanished as his voice froze in his throat.   
  


Zanshi.   
  


The man stood a few feet away holding a single stalk of purple flowers in his hands. He looked relaxed in his white shirt and dark green pants, leaning against the lamp post, but Tasuki felt a touch of uncertainty that kept the man from coming any closer. Tasuki couldn't help the quickening of his pulse as his eyes roamed the slender figure in front of him. He shouldn't feel this way and he hated himself for it.   
  


"What are you doing here?" Tasuki asked roughly as he got up and brushed the seat of his pants. His heart hammered in his chest as the blue haired man straightened and walked slowly towards him.   
  


"I came to say goodbye." Zanshi said quietly and held out the flowers as his proof.   
  


Tasuki gripped the headstone hard as Zanshi stopped mere inches from him. He nearly cried when the unmistakable scent of Chichiri engulfed him and he looked around desperately.   
  


"Are you alright?" Zanshi asked worriedly.   
  


Tasuki turned to the man and nodded. "Yeah. I…um never mind. How…I…You knew Chi--- I mean Houjun?" This was bad. Very bad. What WAS it about this man…?   
  


Zanshi gave him an amused smile and nodded. "Yes." He placed the stalk of flowers on top of the head stone and turned to smile at Tasuki. "So do you."   
  
Duh! Tasuki rolled his eyes before he could stop himself and grimaced. Zanshi chuckled quietly beside him and the sound made Tasuki's heart flutter erratically. The redhead was acutely aware of the strange man standing next to him. Even though many questions and comments flooded his mind, only one was impersonal enough for Tasuki to voice.   
  


"Nice flowers." Tasuki grimaced again and shook his head.   
  


Zanshi looked at the flowers and smiled. "Purple Hyacinth..." Then he looked at the dark headstone thoughtfully. "It's about time I learn to forgive and let go," he muttered under his breath.   
  


Tasuki frowned. What was there to forgive? He wanted to ask Zanshi how he knew Chichiri but he was afraid to. Recollections of his conversation with the man at the club came to him vividly and he feared that Chichiri was the 'friend' Zanshi was talking about. He also feared that their friendship might be deeper than he'd thought.   
  


Tasuki glanced sideways at the quiet man, hoping he would elaborate his statement without the redhead having to ask. To his surprise, Zanshi was looking directly at him, his mahogany eyes gleaming with amusement. Those eyes…   
  
"N---Nani…?" Tasuki stuttered and swallowed.   
  


Zanshi grinned at him. He brought a hand to gently caress Tasuki's cheek and the redhead drew in a shaky breath as tingling sensations washed over him.   
  


_Move away, move away_, Tasuki willed himself silently but he couldn't. He was rooted to the spot as he stared into those laughing eyes that had such a familiar shade of brown…why did he feel so familiar…so comforting…? And why was he so drawn to this man when he was in love with Chichiri?   
  


With the thought of his lover, Tasuki found the strength to tear himself away. "Look, Zanshi---"   
  


"Not…Zanshi" Zanshi interrupted, eyes twinkling at Tasuki's confusion. "I'm no longer death, no da." He added softly as he reached for Tasuki again.   
  


_No da_. Tasuki stared wide eyed at Zanshi as he took a fearful step back and promptly stumbled and fell on his butt. Again. He stared up at the mysterious man in front of him, shaking his head in confusion.   
  


"What…what do I call you then?" He asked breathlessly, fearing he knew the answer yet hoping at the same time.   
  


Zanshi stepped closer and offered Tasuki his hand. "Don't you know me, Tasuki?" He asked lightly. When Tasuki just gaped at him silently he laughed and cocked his head to the side. "If you don't know yet, you can call me Saisei."   
  


Saisei…_Rebirth. Return to life. Reincarnation…   
  
_

Tasuki's heart skipped a beat as tears clouded his vision.   
  


Masaka!   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
  


"What do you mean you can't get in?" Tohma asked impatiently. "I gave you the keys and you came back with those boxes. Explain 'can't get in'." He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Today was NOT going well.   
  


K sighed and rolled his eyes. "I told you. We got in the front room with the keys, no problem. That's where these things are from." He pointed to the boxes. "But inside his room there are two other rooms that we can't get into!" He looked to Nuriko who nodded and shrugged.   
  


"But those rooms have no locks." Ryuuichi said with a puzzled frown.   
  


"Yeah, that's what WE said." He looked from Nuriko to Shuuichi, both of whom promptly nodded in support.   
  


"Well, maybe they're just stuck." Tohma added. At least THAT was what Chichiri told him when they were missing Kuma.   
  


"Yep, that's what WE said too." Again, the nods from Nuriko and Shuuichi.   
  


"Maybe you didn't try hard enough." Eiri commented dryly from his place by the window.   
  


K narrowed his eyes at the tall blond and almost pulled out his gun. Hotohori shook his head and smiled. "They had Nuriko with them. If HE can't open it, then it didn't want to be opened."   
  
"N…Nani?" Nuriko shivered. "Y…You mean…Chichiri's ghost?" He scrambled to Hotohori's side and clung to his arm. "You know, something felt odd in that room. I should have known he didn't want us meddling in there."   
  


"Oh, for crying out loud!" Eiri muttered and pulled out a cigarette. He looked up to see Shuuichi opening a cardboard box and said harshly, "Don't touch that!"   
  
He went to the young man and took the box from the boy then went back to the window, muttering something under his breath as he dug in his pocket for his lighter.   
  


"Anou, Yuki. That's the box from our closet." Shuuichi said. "What's it doing in Chichiri's room?"   
  
"I gave it to him." Eiri said as he lit the cigarette. He glanced quickly at Ryuuichi and found the man looking at him with a sad smile.   
  


Eiri raised his brows at the singer. "I didn't throw them away." He said defiantly.   
  


Ryuuichi looked away, his lips quivering. Tohma glared at the blond and put a comforting hand on his lover's shoulder. "I shouldn't have told you to." Ryuuichi said quietly. "I was afraid he'd be upset if he saw them. I didn't know that those drawings were actually helping him, no da." He moved away from Tohma and rummaged in one of the drawers in Tohma's desk. He pulled out an old 11x17 manila envelope and ran his hand over the surface tenderly. "I found that out about three years ago." He hugged the folder to his chest and stared at the smooth surface of the desk as he spoke.   
  


"It was a bad night. He was in a lot of pain though it wasn't physical. He came out of the nightmare and after a few moments, got out his drawing stuff and drew this." He looked at the folder clutched to his chest. "It was beautiful, but the most amazing thing was that he calmed down right away. He didn't really remember the nightmares; he never did, but the drawing… He wanted to throw it away but I managed to get him to give it to me. I knew that it was very special to him even if he denied it…" He trailed off as he opened the envelope and pulled out a sheet of paper. "This was how I knew he was waiting for Tasuki." He turned the paper around so that everyone could see.   
  


Collective gasps could be heard as everyone in the room stared open mouthed at the drawing in Ryuuichi's hand. Then there was silence. They unconsciously moved closer to the drawing, their eyes never leaving the image.   
  


Two men stood in the middle of the drawing, wrapped in each other's arms with blissful expressions on their faces. One was slightly taller, with bright orange hair and a long dark coat. He had his arms wrapped protectively around the other man whose hair was a peculiar shade of blue. The latter carried a long staff made of brass or gold and was wearing some kind of a costume with a big, bellowing blue cape. He had his cheek resting on the redhead's shoulder and they could see clearly that he had a scar that sealed his left eye shut.   
  


"Masaka!" They said in unison.   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
  


"How…? Why…? I…" Tasuki couldn't even begin to organize his thoughts let alone voice them. This couldn't be… No, no, no, he was imagining things. Yep, that was it. Chichiri died. That was that. This must be some kind of grief-induced hallucination or something…   
  
Yet wasn't he sensing Chichiri's presence all morning? Hadn't Zanshi always reminded him of Chichiri, even when they had first met? But that's not logical. No, no, no. That's not possible…was it? But then again, everything around Chichiri was 'impossible' yet…   
  


Tasuki shook his head to clear the jumbled mess and glanced uncertainly at the other man. He was glad that Zan…no, 'that man' hadn't come any closer. He needed a few minutes to sort this out. Hell, he needed a whole lifetime to understand this.   
  


"I promised I'd find you, Tasuki. Don't you remember?" 'The man' asked softly, still standing a few feet away.   
  


Tasuki stared at the man in disbelief. His brain told him that this man couldn't possibly be Chichiri but his heart and soul seem to reach out to the man. They knew him completely…implicitly.   
  


"How…?" Tasuki started again and swallowed. His heart pounded in his chest so hard he thought it would burst out just to be near the blue-haired man.   
  


"Would you believe I have friends in high places?" The man asked with a smile. "It seems that my deeds in this life have earned me lots of merit points, no da." He said lightly but the expression in his beautiful mahogany eyes told Tasuki that he wasn't as relaxed as he would've liked the redhead to believe.   
  


Tasuki just blinked at him with his mouth hung open. He really didn't know what to say…   
  


Chichiri was beginning to get nervous. This was a really bad idea. It would never work. Then Tasuki threw himself into Chichiri's arms and they both fell onto the ground. Chichiri struggled to sit up and found Tasuki planted firmly on his lap.   
  


"Oh my god, oh my god…it really IS you. I can't believe it. It IS You. It IS you." Tasuki mumbled repeatedly into Chichiri's neck as he sat astride the man, holding him tight. He kissed along Chichiri's neck and took a hold of the man's face between his hands and rained kisses on Chichiri's face. "That day… Oh god, I fucking died when you did that!"   
  


Chichiri laughed and kissed the redhead back. "I died too, no da."   
  
"Baka!" Tasuki scowled as he held his lover's face in his hands. "Don't you EVER do that to me again, you asshole! Saving the fucking world is all good and fine but next time you do it with me! Got that?"   
  
Chichiri only had time for a nod as Tasuki claimed the rest of his face again, especially his lips. When Tasuki got to Chichiri's eyes, he pulled away abruptly. Tasuki's eyes roamed the familiar yet strange features as he caressed every inch of Chichiri's new face.   
  


Yet it wasn't really new. Now that Tasuki knew they were the same person, he could see clearly now that they had exactly the same features except for the hair and eye color. And the loss of one eye.   
  


"You don't like it?" Chichiri asked Tasuki softly as he turned and kissed the inside of Tasuki's wrist. "I can't very well come back as Houjun, no da. I think all of Japan must have seen me die by now."   
  


"I still can't believe it. You only see shit like this in those fantasy movies and stuff. I've never thought I would live it." He looked apprehensively into Chichiri's eyes. "Are you…like…an angel or something?"   
  


Chichiri laughed and hugged Tasuki to him. "No, Tasuki, I'm not an angel, no da. I'm as human as you are, although a little…gifted." Chichiri shrugged and was about to go on when Tasuki interrupted him   
  


"A LITTLE gifted?" Tasuki asked, incredulous. "You fucking returned from the dead! I'd say that's a LOT gifted."   
  


Chichiri laughed and shook his head. "That's not my doing, no da. Soon I'll tell you all about the beast god Suzaku and his 7 celestial warriors, no da; a cemetery is hardly the place. Then you'll understand better. But until then, do you think you could love me the way I am now?" Chichiri asked uncertainly.   
  


"Fuck, Chiri, I think my heart knew it was you underneath all that blue hair even if my head didn't. How could I not love you?" He leaned his forehead against Chichiri's and looked deep into those amazing eyes. "You're a fucking hero man!"   
  


Chichiri kissed him and smiled. "Ah…Houjun's the hero. I'm just plain old…" He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Hmm…plain old…me. I need a name, no da." He looked to Tasuki for a suggestion.   
  


Tasuki thought for a few moments when a thought struck him. His face lit up and he laughed out loud. "I know the perfect name for you."   
  
Chichiri looked at him suspiciously but didn't say anything.   
  


Tasuki continued to laugh and got off Chichiri's lap. He helped Chichiri to his feet and half dragged the man with him as he hurried to the path.   
  


"Matte, Tasuki." Chichiri laughed. "Where are we going, no da?"   
  


Tasuki turned and pulled Chichiri into his arms and kissed him soundly. "You'll see." He said with a playful wink. "You're different, Chiri. Not just the way you look, it's the way you…feel. I'm so damn happy to hold you again but more than that, I'm happy because YOU'RE happy. I've never seen you like this."   
  


"Aa." Chichiri said and glanced back to the grave. "I've finally learned my lessons, no da. I learned to forgive myself and to let go." He looked back to Tasuki and smiled. "I'm going to learn to live as well. Will you help me?"   
  


"Hell yeah!"   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
  


"Ohayo!" Tasuki exclaimed as he barged into Tohma's office with Chichiri in tow. The rest of the greeting died on his lips as he stared at the group of men and Mika converging around Ryuuichi, gaping at something the man was holding. They turned towards him slowly when they heard his voice and when they saw Chichiri; they gave a surprised squeak and pointed to his companion with trembling fingers. Tasuki looked confusedly from the group to Chichiri who just shrugged helplessly.   
  


"T…Tas…Tasuki-c…chan." Nuriko stuttered but couldn't get anything out. His quivering hand still pointing to Chichiri until Hotohori took a hold of it.   
  


Tasuki frowned at the group and put his hands on his hips. "What the hell is the matter with you?" He had meant that collectively and not just Nuriko.   
  


"Who's your friend, Tasuki-kun?" Ryuuichi asked as he stared fixedly into Chichiri's eyes.   
  


"Ah!" Tasuki pushed Chichiri in front of him to present the man to the 'Chichiri Committee'. "This is going to be our Chichiri." He said happily.   
  


"NANI?" Chichiri and the committee said at the same time.   
  


"C'mon! We need to present the public with Chichiri; they've been bugging us for years, you said. Now we can. My friend here…er…" He looked to Chichiri for help but the man was too busy gaping at him. "…er…yeah, my friend here offers to be Chichiri, right…friend?"   
  
"Are you crazy?" Chichiri hissed under his breath as he pulled the younger man to him. "I can't work…HERE!" He looked meaningfully at the redhead. Coming for a quick peek was one thing, working there, as Chichiri was something else entirely.   
  


"Why not?" Tasuki asked. He pulled Chichiri to the side and whispered, "No one's gonna know anything."   
  


Chichiri glanced towards Ryuuichi and Eiri and found them both staring at him intently. The deafening silence caused him to look around the room cautiously. To his consternation, they were ALL staring at him rather strangely.   
  


"Not gonna happen!" Chichiri gave Tasuki a hard look and nearly choked when he saw that the box containing his drawings was there.   
  


Eiri saw the look and followed Chichiri's gaze. He raised one brow, Mr. Spock's style, and smiled. Well, for him it's a smile, for everyone else, his lips twitched slightly.   
  


"I think he'd make a perfect Chichiri." Eiri said quietly and Chichiri turned his attention to his onetime friend. "I can see it already." Eiri added as he gave Chichiri a small smile. "Chichiri had ALWAYS wanted to dye his hair blue."   
  


"Did NOT!" Chichiri said indignantly before he could clap a hand to his mouth. He stared in horror at the wide eyes around him and groaned.   
  


"Nice going, Chiri." Tasuki rolled his eyes. "And you were worried I was going to give you away."   
  


Chichiri was saved from having to reply by a very urgent knock on the door. A young man Chichiri remembered as Ted poked his head in and bobbed it up and down in apology.   
  


"Gomen, Seguchi-san, but there is a young lady and a gentleman wanting to see Tasuki, sir."   
  


Tasuki frowned and looked at Ted.   
  


"They said they're old friends but won't leave any nam…HEY! You can't come in here!" Ted was yanked back out and a small girl with reddish brown hair stepped in. Beside her was a tall young man with short black hair. They looked around the room expectantly and gasped when they saw the occupants.   
  


Chichiri groaned and covered his face. It's not that he didn't want to see Miaka and Tamahome; he just didn't know how to explain his resurrection to the group. Reluctantly he looked up from his hands and found Miaka looking at him with tears in her eyes. She didn't say anything and neither her nor Tamahome made a move to come any closer. The rest of the people just stared confusedly from the new comers to Chichiri.   
  


"Miaka-chan." Chichiri said softly as he gave her a gentle smile. He couldn't break her heart by ignoring her.   
  


"Chichiri!" Miaka sobbed and ran into his opened arms. "We thought you were dead. We saw the news, it was horrible!" She cried into his chest and Chichiri patted her back soothingly. He looked over her head to see Tamahome discreetly wiping the corners of his eyes before smiling back at him.   
  


"Taka said you could get out of it but…but the funeral and everybody said you were dead…Then we saw Tasuki…" she broke off as sobs robbed her of her voice.   
  


Chichiri sighed, so much for keeping this from everybody else. He looked around the room and noticed that Sakano had already passed out on the armchair. Mika was clutching tightly to K but they both looked like they were rather enjoying this whole thing. Chichiri shook his head mentally. Trust those two to find amusement at a time like this.   
  


Shuuichi was standing slightly behind Eiri with the tall blond as a shield but the face that poked out from behind the tall man was full of curiosity and not fear. Eiri himself had on one of his patented 'I'm-so-bored-I-could-die' looks. Chichiri had to smile at that. Not many things could ruffle Eiri Yuki, not even someone coming back from the dead…. as someone else. Next to them stood Tohma and Ryuuichi. The latter man had tears running down his face but his smile was brighter than any smile Chichiri had seen on the man in a long time. Ryuuichi knew who Chichiri was…and he was happy. Chichiri smiled at him over Miaka's sobbing form as he gently cradled her. Ryuuichi leaned happily on Tohma who pulled the younger man firmly against his chest.   
  


Chichiri's attention turned to Nuriko and Hotohori. They were staring wide-eyed at Miaka. Chichiri smiled. With the arrival of the priestess, the seishis would soon get their memories back. That would include Tasuki…   
  


He turned to his lover but the redhead was staring with an open mouth at Miaka as well. Tasuki frowned and turned his attention to Tamahome, then back to Miaka again. 

Tamahome came up to Chichiri and gently took his fiancé from the blue-haired man. "Didn't I tell you it's not easy to kill Chichiri?" He said softly into Miaka's ears as he lovingly caressed the back of her head. He looked at Chichiri and said, "That WAS a close one though. Even I had my doubts. How DID you get out of it, Chichiri?"   
  


"Anou…" Chichiri bit his lip and thought really hard. Nothing. He sent a telepathic message to Tamahome and Miaka letting them know that the others didn't have their memories yet but he guessed it was a little too late.   
  


"Yes do tell, Chichiri." Eiri said quietly from his corner as Shuuichi moved into his arms.   
  


"Well…er…um…" Chichiri looked around the curious faces and threw up his hands. "RATS!"   
  
He KNEW this whole rebirth thing was a bad idea.   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  


**_Nine months later at the Annual Japan Records Awards…_****   
  
"Damn it, you'd think that they would at least stay to receive the awards." Nuriko glared at the prestigious awards he held in his hands. One was for Song of the Year. That went to Chichiri for 'To You, I Will Always Return'. A song he wrote for Tasuki not long after he came back from the dead.   
  
**

The other award was for Tasuki. He had won the Newcomer of the Year award. Nuriko shook his head in disgust. All their lives they had waited for this moment and here it was, and Tasuki wasn't even here. He sighed and looked at Hotohori who was busy brushing lint only HE could see from his tuxedo. Nuriko smiled and sidled up to the former emperor of Konan.   
  


Hotohori looked down at his braided lover and pulled the smaller man close. "It was hard for Chichiri, I think. He was never one for public appearances. It was a wonder Tasuki could get him to come, let alone announce to the world that they're lovers." He bent down and kissed Nuriko tenderly. "You're not sore you lost the best song award to Chichiri are you?"   
  
Nuriko shook his head. "To someone else I would raise hell but to Chichiri? Nah." He smiled and leaned his head on Hotohori's strong chest. "But I wouldn't mind if you would take me somewhere quiet and console me." He suggested softly.   
  


Hotohori chuckled deep in his chest and picked up the smaller man. "That, I can do." He carried Nuriko to the waiting limo and they both got in. "We really don't need to be here. I think I saw Tohma and Eiri sneak off with their respective winners." Nittle Grasper's 'Lost Love Returned' had won Album of the year and Bad Luck had received Band of the Year award. All in all, NG labels was the biggest winner of the night.   
  


Nuriko pouted. "So we're the last to leave?"   
  


Hotohori pulled Nuriko onto his lap and kissed him deeply while pulling on the smaller man's shirt. "Hm…last but never least." He murmured into Nuriko's ear as he slipped his hand underneath the smaller man's shirt.   
  


Nuriko moaned and glanced nervously in the driver's direction and was relieved to find that both the glass and the curtain were in place. Nuriko gave a small purr and was about to pull off his shirt when they heard frantic tapping at the windows.   
  


Hotohori uncharacteristically growled and pulled his coat over Nuriko before lowering the window slightly.   
  


"Hotohori!" Miaka squealed. "Have you seen Nuriko?"   
  


Hotohori narrowed his eyes at the priestess of Suzaku. Before he could form a reply, Nuriko poked his head between the priestess and the former emperor.   
  


"Nani, Miaka!" Nuriko asked, exasperated.   
  


"I just wanted to tell you that I like your song just as much as Chichiri's. She said smiling and leaning back into Tamahome's chest. The tall man smiled apologetically at Nuriko and wrapped his arms around his fiancé.   
  


"You interrupted us for that?" Nuriko whined. "I was about to GET some, Miaka!"   
  
"Nuriko!" Both Miaka and Hotohori cried at the same time. Tamahome rolled his eyes and pulled Miaka away.   
  


"C'mon, Miaka, let them be." He winked at the two in the limo and dragged his red-faced priestess home.   
  


Hotohori closed the window and pulled the braided seishi against him. "Now, where were we?"   
  


"You were about to comfort me." Nuriko said, his voice breathless from anticipation.   
  


"No…" Hotohori said as he pulled Nuriko's shirt off. "I was about to love you."   
  


"SUGOI!"   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
  
Tasuki snuggled into the warmth of Chichiri's arms and rubbed himself suggestively against the other man. Chichiri laughed and pulled Tasuki on top of him as he kissed the hollow of the younger man's throat. His tongue lapped teasingly at the pulse while his hands roamed Tasuki's back and buttocks.   
  


"You're insatiable, no da." He whispered as Tasuki moved between his legs and ground their erections together.   
  


"It's you, Chiri, not me." Tasuki said huskily. "I just can't get enough of YOU."   
  
"I've created a monster, na no da." Chichiri arched up as the redhead licked and nipped at his nipples.   
  


Tasuki laughed. "Only because I didn't remember… Now that I do, I seem to recall teaching a very sexy monk a thing or two." He demonstrated deliciously and Chichiri moaned in appreciation. "Besides," Tasuki continued when he came up for air. "You weren't complaining in the shower and ya weren't complaining before that…or before that…and ya certainly didn't complain in the elevator…" Tasuki kissed his way to the throbbing organ between Chichiri's legs and kissed the weeping tip gently. "In fact, I recalled some very vocal demands from a certain blue-haired former monk, no less."   
  
"Ah…" Chichiri moaned again as Tasuki swallowed as much of his arousal as he could. The former bandit bobbed his head up and down while his hand kneaded the tight sac at the base of Chichiri's shaft.   
  


Tasuki pulled away and looked up at Chichiri with a small frown. "But if you're tired, I could stop."   
  
"NO!" Chichiri said quickly and blushed at his own hentai-ness. (*giggles*)   
  


Tasuki raised his brows and grinned, his fangs poking out adorably. "No?"   
  


Chichiri laughed and rolled onto his stomach and arched his back enticingly. "No. To coin your phrase, no da, I want you to fuck me into the floor, na no da."   
  


Tasuki chuckled and covered Chichiri's naked form with his own. "Damn it, Chiri, I love it when you talk dirty!"   
  
"Stop talking and start fucking, no da." Chichiri urged and thrust up, rubbing Tasuki's erection against the crack of his rear.   
  


"Damn it, Chiri…" Tasuki gritted his teeth as Chichiri continued to rub against him. He barely had time to apply the lube and prepare Chichiri when the blue-haired man impaled himself on Tasuki's burning erection.   
  


Tasuki groaned at the tight heat and he barely stopped himself from cumming right then and there. Chichiri moved under him, his hips raised and pushed back so urgently that Tasuki lost all control and he began pumping frantically into his lover, his hard member piston in and out repeatedly.   
  


They'd had months to get to know each other's bodies and there were times when their lovemaking would take hours. This was not one of them. They were both so aroused that within minutes, they'd found their completion.   
  


Sweat slick bodies entwined as they lay panting in each other's arms. "Fuck, Chiri. When ya tell me to show you how to live, this ain't what I thought you had in mind!"   
  


Chichiri laughed and nuzzled Tasuki's neck. "But you hoped." He chuckled softly.   
  


Tasuki bared his fangs in a feral grin. "Yeah, I hoped." He bent and kissed Chichiri's upturned face tenderly. "I love you, Chiri. I don't care which lives we're in, so long as I have you, I'm happy."   
  


"I know, Tasuki." Chichiri caressed the younger man's cheek lovingly. "I feel the same way, no da, that's why I will always find you, Tasuki. Always. For all of eternity, no da."   
  
"Hai." Tasuki said softly and pulled Chichiri close. They fell asleep with Chichiri's award winning song in their heart.

_I hear the wind call your name   
The sound that leads me home   
It sparks up the fire - a flame that still burns   
To you, I'll always return _

_  
I know the road is long but where you are is home   
Wherever you stay - I'll find a way   
I'll run like a river - I'll follow the sun   
I'll fly like an eagle - to where I belong   
  
_

_I can't stand the distance - I can't dream alone   
I can't wait to see you - Yes I'm on my way home   
  
_

_Now I know it's true   
My every road leads to you   
And in the hour of darkness darlin'   
Your light gets me through   
  
_

_You run like a river - you shine like the sun   
You fly like an eagle   
You are the one I've seen every sunset   
And with all that I've learned   
Oh it's to you - I will always return   
  
  
_

Owari~

Arigatou, minna-sama!!!!!     
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  


'_I Will Always Return' is a long by Bryan Adams for the animation "Spirit".   
  
_

(*) Seishin-Senshi = celestial or star warrior from JEDI Japanese-English Dictionary Interact. I like it so I'm using it…

See you in my upcoming fics!  Don't forget to leave me your email so I can let you know when I post the WK part of the story!  

Hugs and blessings to all!


End file.
